Page 74 of Cream & Sugar

I repeat the chorus, shutting my eyes and losing myself in the melody. My hands dance over the keys, playing a delicate solowhich disguises a subtle key change, ascending into the final, heart-wrenching chorus.

Kept running away like it would do any good,

Wishing you’d come back, oh like you ever could,

Never gonna be everything I thought I’d become,

Living without you, I’m going numb.

The song ends, the final chord rings out. There’s a moment of silence, then the café erupts with applause.

I wheel around and I’m greeted by an audience of clapping customers, all of them having paused whatever they were doing or talking about to listen to me.Crap!I hadn’t even noticed how quiet it had gotten in here. I didn’t think I was playing that loudly!

Daring to glance over at the counter, I expect to see a furious Anna staring daggers at me. Only she’s not—she’s applauding with the rest of them!

I rub the back of my neck and throw the crowd a sheepish smile.

“Sorry about that, folks. You can enjoy your drinks without further interruption—”

“Encore!” someone calls.

“One more tune!” shouts another.

Mobile phones are taken out of pockets, cameras angled towards me. A table of young women giggle and blush when I smile at them. People on their way out the door with takeaway cups instead pull up a chair to listen.

Well, who am I to deny them a free concert? If a show is what they want, a show’s what they’ll get, even if it is just me and a toy keyboard—plus, I am technically getting paid to be here. Finally, a paying gig! I can’t wait to tell Rory.

Something small nudges my arm and I look down to see Ethangrinning at me.

“Knew you were a rock star, Feddie.”

And for the first time in forever, I actually feel like one.

22

Shaun

Forlikethehundredthtime this afternoon, I re-read the text I got from Lara after I dropped Freddie off at work:

Hey Shauny! It was great to see you the other week. Listen, I’m so sorry about Viggo. He suggested coming into the cafe and I’ve been meaning to visit you for ages so I just thought why not! I didn’t think he’d make such a fuss over some silly matcha. Don’t worry, I gave him a good telling-off on the way to the slopes. It was so great to see the cafe in such good shape and Frankie was nice, (although you’d think someone so good-looking would know the difference between a front and rear-facing camera! Does he know he filled my phone with about a hundred selfies when he was meant to be taking pictures of us?) Anyway, let’s catch up soon? Just me and you? Kiss-kiss x

What feels like draft number seven billion of my reply glares up from my phone screen, the unclicked “send” button taunting me:

Hi Lara. It was nice to see you too! Don’t be silly, Viggo was cool—and I learned a thing or two about matcha from him, so tell him thanks. It would be great to meet up! I’m pretty busy but I should have a bit more free time once Freddie’s fully trained. Let me know when would suit. Shaun.

Reading it back makes my toes curl. It’s full of lies: Idon’tfeel like hanging out, itwasn’tparticularly nice to see her, and Viggohad,in fact, been a complete and utter dickhead. If I had it my way, she’d never set foot in the café again.

I’ve debated ignoring the text, not replying at all, but I’m a coward, beholden to social laws far beyond my understanding, so I hit send. It feels gross. Hopefully my message gets lost in the deluge of her inbox, never to be responded to, or even read at all!

Tossing my phone down on the sofa, I run a hand through my freshly showered hair and flop back so I’m staring at the ceiling.

Holy shit, I actually kissed Freddie. Or he kissed me. Right here on the sofa, and what’s more, I liked it. I bloodylovedit!

If I close my eyes, I can still feel the ghost of his touch, those pillow-soft lips, his bold tongue inside my mouth while his hand explored my chest, inflicting pleasure from his fingertips.

Dropping him off at work was torture. The second we said goodbye, all I wanted was to bring him back here with me so we could, well, do all the things I’ve been fantasizing about. And more. Crikey. What has that boy done to me? It’s like my whole body is bursting when I’m around him.

And apparently even when I’m not!