Page 64 of Cream & Sugar

A spike of anger shoots up my spine. “She what?”

“Yeah. You met her. She’s all about image and being popular. I was her arm candy to show off and when I didn’t want to be that anymore, I guess she moved on.”

“She didn’t deserve you,” I say, without hesitation.

Shaun stares at me, his eyebrows halfway up his forehead. “What?”

I can’t hold back the indignance; I’m raging on his behalf. “Seriously, she didn’t deserve you. If she couldn’t accept who you are, that’s her problem, not yours. I mean,lookat you, you’re a total catch!

Shaun scoffs. “Freddie, come on…”

“For real! You’re clever. You’re kind. Not to mention you have a passion you were brave enough to pursue, which you’re totallynailing,by the way.”

“You think so?” Doubt muffles his words, like he’s never been told that before in his life. It seems impossible for a guy who’s achieved so much to have such low self-esteem. I decide to strike while the iron’s hot.

“Are you kidding? You’re crushing it, Shaun! Plus, you’re like the best boss ever and I’m definitely overstepping here, but you’re a solid A-plus in the looks department. For real.”

Shaun blushes, his eyes sparkling. I could quit while I’m ahead, but right now all I want is to praise him, lift him up and make him feel like the awesome guy he so clearly is.

“Look Shaun, I’m not a therapist, but what I do know is no one should ever make you feel shitty for being yourself, especially when ‘yourself’ is fucking rad. I don’t know what Lara was trying to pull by bringing that knobhead into the café like that, but if she’s got any sense at all, she’ll feel like a prize tit after having the two of you in the same room and realising what she traded in: a lovely, smart, ambitious guy for a douchebag who rides a motorbike and drinks grass,” I place my other hand under his and clutch it softly. “I know who I’d prefer.”

Shaun makes a little gasp. His chest swells. “Freddie…”

“Yes, Shaun?”

His big hand is so warm in mine. I can feel him trembling.

“I don’t know how to say—”

“You can say anything to me.” Gently, I rub my thumb across his palm. “Anything at all.”

The fire’s no longer the hottest thing in the room. The very air between us is ablaze as Shaun finds his words. Finally, his lips part.

I hold my breath.

“Okay. Thanks.” He bites his lip, nervously. “It’s really confusing for me, Freddie, because I’ve never felt like this before. I wasn’t planning on saying this, and I definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent shouldn’t. But, well… I guess… I mean, I think I have feel—”

“Hey guys!” The barista with the moustache appears beside us, making me jump. He holds out a small plate stacked with little pieces of chocolate cake. “Sorry to interrupt, but would you like to try some vegan brownie? It’s a new recipe and I’m looking for opinions.”

There is a world, a not-so-distant parallel world, where I calmly get to my feet, grab this perfectly nice man by his handlebar whiskers and put his head through a fucking wall.

Nothing is more important than what Shaun was about to say to me, but this tactless prick just had to come along and ruin everything. I look to Shaun, whose confidence is clearly fadingalready. He retracts his hand from mine and drops his gaze to the table, his cheeks flushed crimson.

Swallowing my frustration, I turn to the barista and take a piece of brownie.

“Sure. Thanks.”

I pop it in my mouth and chew quickly. It’s fine, perfectly enjoyable. Nothing on Shaun’s, of course.

“Delicious,” I say.

There’s a scrape of wood as Shaun pushes his chair back from the table. His hands are shaking.

“Sorry. Bathroom,” he mutters before turning heel and disappearing through a door in the back corner.

The bubble that’s been steadily growing inside me pops in an instant. I’m torn between running after him or leaving him be, but I don’t know what he wants—what heneeds—right now.

The barista waggles the plate under my nose. “Have another?”