Page 61 of Cream & Sugar

He rests his hands on the table, and I want more than anything to take them in mine.

“Still, that must have been so hard for you, and your brother,” I say.

“I mean, for Rory, yeah. I think he tries not to think about her. Throws himself into work and the gym and decorating the house or whatever. You probably thought he was an arsehole when youspoke this morning, but he’s really not! He’s always been stoic but when Mum died, it’s like the wall around him grew fifty feet taller. I think he’s still working through it. In his own way. That’s why he might seem a little blunt.”

Hammers are blunt. Rory was a wrecking ball.

“He grilled me about whether I was paying you for today or not,” I say.

Freddie rolls his eyes. “Having fun with people from work doesn’t compute with my brother. He treats everything like a business meeting. I swear the bank has stopped inviting him to anything that’s not the mandatory Christmas night out. I got to go along to it once. It was a blast! All the free prosecco I could drink, but Rory spent the whole time like a statue in the corner. Socialising just isn’t his thing.”

“I get that,” I say, remembering all the parties I’ve spent wishing I was cuddled up at home with snacks and a movie instead. “Some days the last thing I want to do is speak to strangers.”

Freddie laughs. “And yet, you work in hospitality.”

I sigh. “Yeah, but I’d be anxious anywhere. Might as well be anxious doing what I love.”

Freddie’s smile falters. “Are you anxious, Shaun?”

He sounds surprised. Maybe I’ve said too much. I shake my head.

“Ignore me. Doesn’t matter.”

Freddie’s head tilts. “Seriously, what do you have to be anxious about? As far as I can see, you’re nailing life.”

The cold knot forming in my stomach thaws a little. He really is a lovely young man. If I wasn’t his boss, if thiswasa date, this might be the moment to tell him about my diagnosis. I want to tell him. Then, I remember what happened when I told Lara, and look how that ended!

But Freddie isn’t Lara. That calm little voice in my head spurs me on.

Maybe I should just say it?

Before I can, however, our breakfast arrives, and all is instantly forgotten.

19

Freddie

“Holyshitballs,”Isay,pushing my empty plate away from me. “That was totally epic.”

“Andi never disappoints.” Across from me, Shaun wipes his mouth on a napkin. “And you finished your latte!”

“Yup!” I examine the milky dregs at the bottom of my cup. “It was nice. I liked it.”

I really did.

Leaning back in my chair, I cradle my stomach, which is fuller than it’s been since last Christmas. My belly feels like I’ve swallowed a beach ball. Bye bye abs, nice knowing you.

Shaun, who ate even more than me, lets out a low moan as he adjusts his belt. My cock stirs in my pants. Damn, he’s sexy—a total beefcake. The sight of him fills me with a different kind of hunger. If we weren’t in public, and I wasn’t weighed down by a metric butt-tonne of food, I would almost certainly jump on him.

Respectfully, of course.

With a large hand, Shaun strokes his beard.

“My plan was to take you to a few of my favourite spots today. Although from the state of us, I’m not sure we’d survive another feast.”

Eager not to cut our “research” short, I shake my head. “Nothing a little walk won’t burn off, I’m sure.”

Shaun looks pleased.