Page 66 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)
E lizabeth and Charlotte returned from Hertfordshire two days after the wedding with the glad sense of coming home. After more than two months at Oakfield, it definitely felt like home.
Charlotte had taken the opportunity to stay those two nights with her family while Elizabeth hesitantly took her old chamber amid the chaos of Longbourn both before and after the wedding.
Papa had been pleased to see her, and he had taken her aside for some quiet questions about how she was doing. “For I notice that you are thinner, my dear.”
She had reassured him as far as she could, and suggested he go to call on the Gardiners for business in a few weeks’ time and come to Oakfield for a few days from there.
But now they were home. Pretence and subterfuge could be left behind.
She sat with Charlotte and Mrs. Bailey over tea, discussing all that had happened, but soon after removed herself to the morning room to check her post. She separated out the business letters from the others, setting aside the bulky one from Mr. Reed; she would need to deal with that one first thing tomorrow morning.
Then she sat to catch up with the news from Lady Mildred and Lady Palmer. There was time to read them and then reply to each before dinner — there would be no difficulty in filling the pages with a description of the wedding, although she would be careful not to mention Mr. Darcy.
Those tasks accomplished, and the sun already low in the sky, she went upstairs to change for dinner.
As she went, she wondered at the formality they still kept.
Perhaps she could talk to Charlotte about if , and if so how , they could remove some of the more time-consuming duties of formality.
But then, perhaps Charlotte enjoyed such order and routine to punctuate the day?
It would be interesting to try to discover which it was, without her friend thinking she must always agree with her.
Early the next day she was sitting in the morning room, surrounded by a comforting set of open ledgers, books and her current journal.
The bookcase opposite held all her previous journals, one of her most valuable resources.
After the first two, she had quickly found a good indexing method so she could readily find whatever she needed.
But, first: Mr. Reed’s letter.
Miss Bennet,
I take the liberty of acquainting you with the progress made respecting the harps.
After further inquiry I am convinced there should be not less than three sizes contrived for the use of children: the smallest to serve those just beginning, and these will also appeal to those ladies who wish to draw attention to the large size of their music rooms with space for several sized harps, another somewhat larger for children who are rather older, perhaps ten or eleven years of age, and a third size between to approach the scale of the full instrument.
I have been told by the various masters I have consulted that these would be appropriate for young ladies of thirteen to fifteen years.
Such size graduation, I believe, will recommend itself strongly to masters and to parents alike.
In fact the masters are delighted to have the possibility of more young ladies to teach with the wider age range.
I wondered if you might be considering a plainer version at a lower cost for masters to purchase.
There are some who do not attend the homes of their pupils, and you mentioned that a young lady you spoke to at the house party said she did not enjoy London because her harp was at her country estate.
The opportunity to work with a master at his own premises may be an advantage to such families.
As to the stringing, it is somewhat intricate, differing with each size, yet I am assured the work may be managed with proper care.
The arrangement requires attention to proportion, but I am persuaded no insurmountable difficulty lies in the way.
Indeed, with steady hands and good guidance, we may rely upon the makers to execute all to our satisfaction.
The smallest size will need to have fewer strings of course, as there needs to be a minimum distance between them, but children so young would not be able to manage more, so it is in fact, an advantage.
In the matter of ornament, I have found that some prefer the simplest finish, while others delight in the most elaborate of embellishments.
To meet every taste, I recommend that the designs admit of both plainer and more ostentatious decoration.
As you thought, you cannot use marquetry on the sound board which is made of spruce, although other woods, maple, predominantly, are used elsewhere.
However, while usually many layers of varnish are used after the wood is sealed, I understand that decoration can be paint or gold leaf, all appearing sunken beneath covering layers of clear varnish.
External decoration would need to be mounted other than on the sound board.
But I know you have artists who will help you design a pleasing appearance.
In this, as in all else, I stand ready to follow your judgement.
Your obedient servant,
J. Reed
Elizabeth put the letter down and reached for her journal. This was just the information she had needed. Now she could begin to expand her notes.
It was only a relatively short while later that she wandered out of the room, unable to concentrate as she once had.
Then her gaze fell on the familiar column of The Ladies’ Diary, sitting on the table beside her.
One enigma enquired in how many distinct manners the letters of the word WEDDING might be arranged, the two D’s reckoned as one.
Elizabeth smiled faintly — even in her recreations she could not escape her sister’s marriage.
In an instant she had the answer, and the problem lost its savour.
She frowned. The next puzzle, a mathematical question, proposed the inscription of a square within a circle of twenty feet diameter. Again, her mind moved too swiftly for the page; she pushed the Diary aside with a sigh.
Perhaps she could walk around the grounds while she wrestled with her thoughts.
Once a maid had brought her coat and hat, Elizabeth slipped through the front door and took the west-bound path. There was a reasonably-sized pond some few hundred yards on, bordered by mature oaks, and Elizabeth found staring into the water quite soothing.
“Eliza?” Charlotte’s voice behind her caused Elizabeth to slow down and she turned to her friend.
“Charlotte. I am walking to the pond. Are you free to join me?”
“Of course. If I had known you were going to walk out, I would have waited for you.”
Elizabeth chuckled mirthlessly. “I did not know I was until a few moments ago, so I do not think you would have divined it.”
They walked companionably together for a few minutes and when they came to the pond, Elizabeth leaned on the railing that had been placed there at a convenient spot for gazing into the water.
“I have wondered at your apparent distraction over the last weeks.” Charlotte’s voice was quiet, but neither inviting nor rejecting further confidences.
“Mmm.” Elizabeth continued staring into the water. “I cannot seem to concentrate on my work in the same way as I was before. I find it … flat, less … interesting.”
Charlotte did not immediately jump in with a suggestion, a trait Elizabeth had always found refreshing.
“Tell me why you originally found the business so fascinating.”
Elizabeth smiled into the water, where the shadowed outline of a slow-moving carp was just visible.
“It was a challenge, I think. I could get four per cent on my savings just by not spending the money; yet Uncle Gardiner could get up to ten per cent by investing carefully in goods that people were prepared to pay for. Of course, some ventures don’t make that much, but he is very clever and thoughtful and he has very few failures, where he would lose money or make less than four per cent. ”
She sighed. “I wanted to prove that I could do better, that I could consistently make more than ten per cent. And it quickly turned into a test to find out how much profit I could make; just how much people would be prepared to pay for something.”
“I can see why it was so fascinating,” Charlotte commented. “But I can also see why the prospect has become … stale.”
Elizabeth swung round. “That’s exactly it! Stale is the perfect word. But why should it be so now, when I have taken this place and have more time and freedom to work and you and Mrs. Bailey for companionship?”
Charlotte leaned on the railing next to her, and peered into the depths, too.
“Is it because you are not used to talking to us, discussing it with us in the same way you do with your uncle? Why not go back to the way it was before, when you used to write to him frequently when you had to remain at Longbourn?”
“I could do that, I suppose.” Elizabeth knew she didn’t sound convinced. “I don’t want my business to be a duty and lose sight of any other future.”
“You did tell me last week that your aunt has said to you a while ago that your business was secure enough now to leave in the hands of your staff, and just use your fortune to live a life of leisure.” Charlotte glanced sideways at her friend.
“Is that the problem, that you have completed your challenge, and now it does not feel so any more?”
“I suppose it is.” Elizabeth wasn’t entirely certain she knew what the problem was, but it quite possibly involved a tall, dark-haired gentleman who looked at her with pain in his eyes.
“So, do you want to take the business in a new direction, one that will give even you a new exercise?”
In the silence that followed, Charlotte laid her hand on Elizabeth’s arm. “Is it that you have realised that the business is a cold marriage partner?”
Elizabeth jerked round. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that being independent does not mean you would have to give up the prospect of being happy in marriage.” She pressed her arm slightly.
“I know you don’t want to tell me what happened when Mr. Darcy was here, but I know you have not been yourself since he came.
Why do you think you will have to choose between your business and the companionship of marriage? ”
As soon as they got back to the house, Elizabeth took herself to her private sitting room beside her bedchamber. She must think.
She had once thought she would be satisfied with success in her business forever, had never thought it would someday be disappointing.
But pride in her achievements was one thing; now the joy was gone. She was a joyful person, and Charlotte must have known it. She had suggested that Elizabeth find a new challenge to bring her joy, or choose marriage and companionship to bring her the joy that now seemed so elusive.
But Charlotte didn’t know that Mr. Darcy had divined her secret; she didn’t know that he had been angry that she had not trusted him and had kept her secret from him.
But she had kept the truth from everyone — nearly everyone. What was so despicable about him being in the same situation?
No. He was gone and likely never coming back, despite her attempt to show him how sorry she was at the wedding.