Page 49 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)

T wo days later, Elizabeth entered the breakfast parlour. She was feeling more herself after two mornings where she had been able to take brisk walks as far as Oakham Mount, a total distance of some four miles. The exercise had calmed her and given her strength for the days ahead.

With her sisters, she was counting down the days until Mr. Collins departed Longbourn and returned to Hunsford. What a relief that would be!

Elizabeth poured herself another cup of tea, smiled at Mary, and rolled her eyes affectionately at Papa, hidden behind the newspaper as usual.

She looked up with suspicion at her mother when she appeared in the room in a flurry of lace and a waving handkerchief. Mama looked as if she was containing some great excitement, and kept glancing at Elizabeth, whose spirits sank into her slippers when she understood what must be about to occur.

She turned to Mary, who was the only other person in the room at present, apart from Papa, and she knew very well that he would not help her.

“Mary, when did you last look for music in the bookshop? I would like to walk into Meryton after breakfast and look at the new books. If there might be new music, would you like to come with me?”

It was unfortunate that Mary had no chance to answer her sister.

“No! Lizzy! you must remain here. I demand that you stay at home this morning.” Mama’s shriek sealed Elizabeth’s fate, she knew.

Soon, Mr. Collins would appear in the room; he would eat his breakfast and then require she listen to an excruciating proposal.

“Mama,” she kept her voice low. “Why do you want to humiliate our guest like this? I will refuse him; you know I will.” She turned to her father.

“Papa, is it fair that Mama is setting him up for such a refusal? It will only make him angry and more likely to throw us from the house when he inherits.”

He lowered his paper an inch and looked at her over the top of his spectacles, with a sardonic raised eyebrow, and she tried not to frown at him.

Yes, of course he — and she — knew that with her fortune, there were no hedgerows in the future for any of them, but Papa did like to vex his wife.

I will never suffer under a marriage like this one I have been a witness to all my life.

She huffed. “Well, Mama, if Papa will not stop you, I will listen to Mr. Collins, but I am informing you now that I will refuse him.”

In the small parlour, Elizabeth sat on a chair nearer to the door than Mr. Collins was. She wanted an escape route.

Her cousin was pacing up and down in front of her, apparently rehearsing the words in his mind.

She was startled when he suddenly stopped in front of her and began what she expected would be the worst proposal she could ever imagine.

She barely listened as he extolled her beauty, which he then acknowledged was not the fairest of the sisters.

She raised an eyebrow, as he began talking at her as if he were giving a sermon.

“My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish; secondly, that I am convinced that it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly—which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion on this subject…”

Elizabeth interrupted, then. “I am sorry, Mr. Collins. I do not need to know that you think it will add greatly to your happiness. What I am particularly anxious to know is how you think it could possibly add to mine.” She rose to her feet, crossed her arms and gave him a glare.

“You barely know me, sir, and therefore you cannot know by what means I could be happy. I am rejecting the offer you are in the process of making to me, for I am determined to follow my own instincts and act in the way I believe will ensure my own happiness!”

She turned for the door, but Mr. Collins was surprisingly agile, and pushed himself in front of it.

“Cousin Elizabeth! That is entirely the wrong thing to be thinking of. The office of a young lady is to bring help and comfort to her husband, to assist him in all his endeavours and to bear him heirs.” He wiped his brow.

“In your case, also, you will be honoured by your family for me having chosen you to be the saving of them when the time comes for me to inherit this estate. And in the time before that, you will have the condescension of Lady Catherine to advise you on your household and your duties as the wife of a clergyman and myself.” He drew a quick breath so he could continue without interruption.

“One thousand pounds in the four per cents, which will not be yours till after your mother’s decease, is all that you are entitled to and it will make impossible the chance of you ever receiving another offer. I have been extraordinarily generous in accepting this.”

Elizabeth took a few steps backwards; he was entirely too close. “And there, sir, is the difficulty. I will not be subject to such a marriage. I must reject it in the strongest of terms. I could not be happy, and that would inevitably make you unhappy.”

She moved towards the other door. “Now, I beg you will excuse me. I am sorry if I have disappointed you and I wish you felicity in whomever you may marry.” And I give my sympathy, and wish contentment at least, to whomever becomes your wife!

She wrenched the door open and stormed out of the room, glaring at Mama, who was standing entirely too close to the door and had probably heard much of it.

“Lizzy!” Mama’s shriek went through her head, which was already aching with the torture of being forced to listen, and Elizabeth allowed her glare to turn contemptuous, before hurrying up the stairs. She needed to get outdoors as soon as she might.

Behind her she could hear Mama loudly decrying her and attempting to placate Mr. Collins. That will work well. She laughed humourlessly. Tell him I am terrible, but that you will make me accept his offer.

Collecting her pelisse, she made her way down the stairs, almost wishing she dared use the servants’ backstairs.

Mama pounced. “Your father wishes to see you.” Elizabeth nodded and turned reluctantly for the library, listening to Mama speaking in a wheedling tone. “Mr. Bennet will make her see sense, Mr. Collins, she will accept your very generous offer.”

Papa was brief and to the point. Elizabeth could see he was deep in the new book he had bought only yesterday, and her lips twitched.

“So, Elizabeth. You have received an offer of marriage from Mr. Collins?”

“I have.”

“I think I heard you refusing him.”

“I believe you heard Mama understanding that I have refused him.”

“Do you wish to marry Mr. Collins?”

“No, I do not. There is no consideration on earth that would make me accept him.”

“No, I don’t suppose there is,” Papa grinned wryly.

He might not know the extent of her fortune, but he knew it was considerable.

“Very well, Lizzy. You go for your walk. I will speak to your mother and tell her that if she had managed to force you to marry Collins, you would have banished her into the hedgerows without a second thought on the day you came to Longbourn as mistress!”

“That might quieten her a little,” Elizabeth gave her father a tense little smile and turned for the door.

She walked across the lawns to the little wilderness area, and paced around inside the walls. It was cold, but not too much so, and she slowly began to feel calmer.

She pondered what had happened. Mr. Talbot at the house party — I believe you will make me an excellent wife .

And now, Mr. Collins — it will add very greatly to my happiness .

What was wrong with the gentlemen? Neither of them had seen her , Elizabeth, or considered that she might not have the wish to subsume herself and all she had achieved merely to make them happy.

She grumbled under her breath. The promise to obey a man — any man — was to hand him the key to the cage of marriage. She would not do it. Better to remain single all her life.

She could do that. She had good friends and knew her life could be satisfying and well-ordered without having to marry.

She sighed, and rubbed her forehead. No marriage meant, of course, no home with him.

She did not wish to remain at Longbourn, though she would happily visit her sisters.

Neither did she wish to live permanently with the Gardiners, although it was definitely the most palatable of the current available options.

And, of course, Jane had told her that she would always be welcome in her home as Mrs. Bingley.

Elizabeth shook her head. Certainly she might stay for a short while, but sharing a house with Miss Bingley? Never.

No, as she had said to Jane, she wanted a home of her own.

Slowly, she began to seriously consider things.

Her respectability would be one challenge.

She must have a companion of some sort. Perhaps Charlotte would like to live with her as a friend.

Elizabeth could trust her absolutely. Then she frowned.

Having refused Mr. Collins, might Charlotte encourage him to offer for her?

She had always said she was not romantic, after all. But, surely not!

Perhaps she could have a brief word with Charlotte — not tell her everything until she had thought about it more — but she could say there were other options.

And she must speak to Mr. Reed. First he had to find somewhere that would suit her requirements. Then the important matter; the cost implications of what she wished to do.

She smiled slightly, remembering what her Aunt Gardiner had written, not so long ago — in the future, when you begin to live the life of wealth that you have earned by dint of hard work and willingness to take risks…