Page 38 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)

F inally, dinner was over. The endless genteel conversation in the drawing room was over.

The gentlemen returning after their port was over.

The evening had seemed unending. Elizabeth had tried to keep her gaze from drifting towards Mr. Darcy.

He had been seated further away from her than usual at dinner and she wondered whether, given his cold demeanour earlier, he had requested the change.

She had looked down in mortification. What had she done to occasion his disapproval?

More pertinently, had Mr. Talbot talked of her rejection? Surely Mr. Darcy would not hold that against her?

She longed for the time when she and Lady Palmer could escape the forced company of other people and go to their chambers.

She hoped very much that her putative great-aunt was not too worn out by the day to advise her about what the proposal from Mr. Talbot might mean if he told others, and she could perhaps even ask her whether she had noticed the change in Mr. Darcy’s behaviour.

She was dismayed at the depth of her distress that he might disapprove of her.

At last, it was time. Elizabeth and Lady Palmer retired to their suite, and Elizabeth leaned against the door as it closed behind them and shut her eyes.

“I see you are in need of a private conversation.” Lady Palmer’s voice was level and calm. “Something disturbed you quite early today, and you have been wanting to speak to me.”

Elizabeth opened her eyes, hoping she wasn’t going to weep. Strong women, the sort of woman she wanted to be, didn’t cry. “I have been hoping to talk to you, but you do look fatigued. I would not wish to exhaust you.”

The old lady crossed the room to the sofa and chairs by the fire.

“Clarke will fetch us hot chocolate and a few comforting pastries, and you can tell me everything that has transpired. If resolving these issues will take much time, we might then adjourn until the morning. But I think you will feel better once you have at least told me, won’t you? ” She patted the seat beside her.

Elizabeth felt her eyes fill with tears, and she blinked hard as she joined the other, relishing the sudden warmth from the fire as she reached it. She sat beside the lady, who took her hands.

She took a deep breath. “Thank you. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you have been so kind to me and guided me well.”

“So now you can tell me.” Lady Palmer looked at her astutely.

Elizabeth sighed. “You probably saw me retire during the morning.” The other nodded. “I went upstairs and asked Clarke to accompany me out to the terrace for some air.” She made a face. “Mr. Talbot followed me out and made a proposal of marriage.”

Lady Palmer rolled her eyes. “The foolish man.” She raised an eyebrow at Elizabeth. “I don’t know that would have disturbed you too much — I presume you refused him?”

“Of course. I was as polite as I could be, Aunt. I thanked him for the honour of his offer …” she ground her teeth in anger “… but I told him we had known each other barely a week and also that I considered myself far too young as I was not yet of age.”

“But that is not particularly what distressed you.”

“No.” Elizabeth knew she sounded defeated.

She was tired of course, but she hated sounding like this.

“He was angry, I could see that. He threatened me. He said I was like all the young ladies here, that I was in search of a husband and that I’d been leading him on to think I liked him.

Then he said …” she swallowed. “… He said it would look bad to others that I gave my attentions carelessly and with such impropriety!” She looked up desperately. “Will it really be that bad?”

There was a quiet knock at the door, and both ladies fell silent as Clarke supervised a maid with a tray containing their hot drinks. A few minutes later they were alone again, and the click of the latch sounded loud in the silence.

Lady Palmer patted Elizabeth’s hand. “You are not to worry, my dear.” Her eyes twinkled. “After all, you have said you have not enjoyed society, so what do you care what they think of you?”

Elizabeth blinked. She had not expected those words. “Well, I …”

“You do care. Of course you do.” Lady Palmer’s tone was sympathetic but there was an air of amusement, too. “After all, no one likes to feel rejection, even from people they think they will never see again.”

She let go of Elizabeth’s hand and reached for her cup, taking a sip and closing her eyes in appreciation. Her eyes were still closed as she spoke again.

“Do not be concerned about Mr. Talbot, Elizabeth. He is known as a foolish man, and I understand that he has offered to several ladies in the last year or so. The problem is that he has overreached each time, offering to the daughters of the nobility,” a smile graced her lips.

“And this time, he may think he has selected better. But he chose an extraordinary and intelligent young woman who could see right through his proposal.”

Elizabeth laughed sharply. “It wasn’t difficult, my lady. He sometimes seems a little simple — certainly thoughtless.” She frowned. “But I am afraid of what he might have said already.”

Lady Palmer’s attention was gained. “What have you discerned, my dear?”

Elizabeth fidgeted uncomfortably. “I don’t suppose you noted the change in Mr. Darcy’s demeanour this evening?”

“I did.” The older lady seemed to be intently looking into the distance and Elizabeth was glad of it, it was more comfortable not to be the object of scrutiny. But the other was still speaking. “What did you make of it?”

She didn’t want to speak of her dismay and disappointment at Mr. Darcy’s coldness to her. “I wonder if he had heard of Mr. Talbot’s offer, and believes I should not have refused him.”

Lady Palmer’s brow creased slightly. “But he knows you do not wish to marry; why should it have changed his attitude towards you?”

“Oh, I had not thought of it.”

“Well, I think he probably did hear someone speaking of you, Elizabeth, but I doubt it was Talbot. That man is inconsequential, and I will also speak to him tomorrow and tell him that his hopes are in vain, and it would less embarrassing for him not to speak of it.”

“I thank you.” Elizabeth’s voice was low, and she hesitated. “What do you think Mr. Darcy heard, then, if it was not Mr. Talbot?”

“That I have yet to discover.” There was a long pause, and then the old lady’s voice was very quiet.

“There are eyes on you, Elizabeth, because you are new to society. Some of those eyes are admiring, some are most definitely antagonistic. Others — a very few, are predators, looking for naive young ladies. I think Lady Bedford could have been more careful in whom she invited to her home, especially because Lady Mildred is very vulnerable — and so, they think, are you.” She sat forward.

“But, remember, you say you do not want a husband. You must not be shocked then, if a gentleman steps back from becoming entangled.”

Elizabeth gasped. “Mr. Darcy?”

“Mmm.” Lady Palmer hummed her agreement.

“Tomorrow, I will listen carefully to what is, and is not, said, and ask a few apparently innocuous questions. Then I will see what comes out of it. In the meantime, Elizabeth, I need you to act exactly as you have been. Rise above your anxieties; be who you are.” She smiled mischievously.

“You will also have to spend some hours preparing for the ball on Wednesday. Then you will know that the house party is nearly over!”

She struggled to her feet. “And now I must retire. Elizabeth, if you can bear it, I would prefer that you take several turns around this room in the morning, and not walk out. I would be concerned if you were to go out, even with Clarke.”

“Then of course, I will do as you advise, my lady.” Elizabeth turned for her own chamber.

As she changed from her dress into her nightshift, she looked out into the darkness beyond the window, remembering the prospect over the park.

She knew now that she didn’t want this sort of life.

But she was outgrowing Longbourn, too. Perhaps she could find an alternative.

She enjoyed staying with her aunt and uncle, but she would not impose on them forever — and others knew about it.

Mr. Darcy knew where to find Gardiner’s; he had taken his sister there.

Elizabeth could find somewhere else, perhaps, to live quietly. There she could do as she wished; work at her business, rest and take walks in the countryside. Nobody to keep secrets from. It would be good to have a time of quiet.