Page 31 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)
T he entertainment for the ladies was no less insipid than the previous day.
Elizabeth stifled a sigh. Lady Bedford had taken Mildred aside and forced her to the sofas where the needlework and conversation were expected to be.
The girl seemed diminished and withdrawn, and Elizabeth could not understand why her mother had done it.
Young ladies could be cruel, even without saying anything.
Moreover, she wanted nothing more than to retreat to her guest chamber for a short while. A letter had arrived from her uncle, and she was sure he would say something about her harp ideas, even though she had not said as much as she usually did about a new prospect.
But she crossed to Lady Palmer again. She had been the means of her coming to this house party, and Elizabeth could not but be grateful to her, even if she had been discomposed at finding Mr. Darcy here.
“May I bring you fresh tea, my lady?”
After she had brought two cups over and moved the side table to be more convenient to her companion, she sat down. “I hope you are enjoying the house party.” She dropped her voice. “Have you found out the information your son wished for?”
The lady nodded. “I know all that he needs to know. But I have been interested to see the interplay between all the young people. It helps me to try to keep young in mind.”
Elizabeth smiled. “There is no one here who might say that you are old, ma’am.” She fidgeted a little. “Mr. Darcy did not look very happy when he was talking to you earlier.”
Lady Palmer’s look was penetrating, and Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably.
“I am sure he thought his expression was suitably impassive. Do you think anyone else discerned his discomfort?”
“No,” Elizabeth shook her head. “I do not believe so.”
“And why do you think you noticed, Elizabeth? You were deep in conversation with the other ladies.”
Elizabeth sighed. Why had she approached if she did not want to talk? She knew what Lady Palmer was like. “I do not know. Perhaps because I have met him before.”
The other nodded thoughtfully. “He is a very reserved man. Though he appears proud, I think he feels quite uncomfortable in situations such as this, because he cannot make conversation easily.”
“I agree, and that was evident before.” Elizabeth tapped her foot on the floor. “How do you manage to get people’s confidence so quickly that they will tell you things that they may have determined never to admit to another soul?”
“Ah, that is something that I think comes with advanced age, my dear. And the inquisitiveness is thus forgiven, too.” She tipped her head on one side. “But you do not need to worry, you can obtain the same information I do, just by being kind and understanding.”
Elizabeth frowned slightly. “I do not agree, I am afraid. Although I find people interesting, I am quickly distracted to another subject and I find it quite hard work to keep my mind on the other person.”
Lady Palmer nodded. “And yet you have wrought wonders already with the youngest Bedford girl. I have been watching her and was thinking she was too fearful to find this house party helpful before the season. If she were my daughter, I think I would wish her to do the little season first, next autumn.”
Elizabeth nodded. “And then she will not be in competition with her sister, who will have had her come out in the spring.”
Lady Palmer smiled. “You do understand her. I was watching you draw her out earlier, and then over lunch when you assisted her to have a brief interaction with Mr. Darcy. I think she will find that very helpful when he has his duty dance with her.” Her next sentence took a different course.
“Did Mr. Darcy ask her for the supper dance?”
Elizabeth frowned slightly. “He would feel he needed to release me from it first, I believe. And no, he asked her for the second.”
“Oh. Her mother will not be pleased.” The older lady was looking at Mildred as her mother hovered over her. “In fact, I think she does not approve that I have brought you with me.” She turned her gaze onto Elizabeth. “Why do you think that is?”
Elizabeth shrugged helplessly. “I can see why it is. There is an eligible gentleman paying me some regard, when she wishes her daughters to be the objects of all the attention from the gentlemen.” She sighed again. “I wish I could tell her that I am not interested in gaining anyone’s attention.”
“Are you not?”
Elizabeth saw her lips were pursed, and tried not to frown. “What do you mean, my lady? I have told you I do not wish to marry.”
“Yes, but you have given me no reason why you do not, and no explanation of what alternative life you wish to pursue.”
Elizabeth glanced down. Here was another inquisition, and she must be exceedingly careful not to reveal anything that might lead to her secret being discovered.
“I believe I am too independently minded to be able to take the marriage vows, my lady. If I marry, every single possession of mine is given over to my husband. And he can say exactly where I must live, whom I can see, and what I must do with my life. I do not wish to be owned in such a way.”
Lady Palmer sipped her tea. “Do you think your uncle is like that to your aunt?”
“No, of course not!”
“Is your father like that to your mother? Or anyone else in Hertfordshire where you live?”
“The answers do not guarantee I should not be treated badly.”
“That is true.” There was a long silence. “Is there anything you would miss about never marrying?”
Elizabeth glanced up. “I have not thought about it that much. There is too much against it for me to allow myself to risk it.”
“And that thought may lead you to deny yourself consideration of what might be the thing that would bring you joy.” The older woman’s voice was quiet.
“I am not saying to do anything on a whim, and of course settlements must be carefully considered. But you are young, and there is no reason to deny looking at all possible paths.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I understand what you are saying, but …” she shivered and stood up. “Might you excuse me, ma’am? I wish to retire for a few moments.”
Once in her chamber, Elizabeth sat on the bed. Lady Palmer had quite spoiled her anticipation of her uncle’s letter, and she huffed in vexation.
But if she read it, she would remember her feelings when she was seeing business opportunities, so she would do that and become happier.
My dear Lizzy
Thank you for your letter. Your aunt and I feel this may be a very good way to progress your business.
But, as you wrote, you did not have a lot of time to consider the matter, and neither of us wish you to occupy your thoughts with this.
You have a short opportunity to taste life in the first circles, and you must take advantage of this fact.
We were discomposed to hear Mr. Darcy is there, but your aunt seems to think Lady Palmer will be able to gain his agreement not to spread your circumstances within the house party, so we remain hopeful that this will stay within the Bedford estate.
Before you get back to us, I will put out some enquiries for you as to who makes harps in the area, and their reputation. We will have to discuss with music masters how many child sizes we will have to offer, and so forth.
But you must leave that to me and enjoy yourself. Your aunt wishes me to remind you that it will be very easy to make Lady Palmer suspicious of what she does not know about you. As you have probably gathered, she is very good at teasing out of people more than they wished to say.
Elizabeth dropped the letter onto her lap. Yes, they had the right of it. Lady Palmer was already very suspicious. She raised the letter again; perhaps her aunt and uncle had some idea of something she might say to allay some of the suspicion in the lady’s mind.
But there was nothing there, merely fond sentiments and a loving adieu.
She got up and slipped the letter between the pages of her journal, returning it to her locked box and thence to its hiding place.
A lot had happened in a very few days Elizabeth was used to occupying herself each day, but she found she did not much like having so much already organised for her, and having to watch her manners and behaviour all the time was quite exhausting.
She determined that she would get up early and slip outside in her warm new pelisse and take the opportunity to stride out for a good walk before Lady Palmer rose for the day.