Page 51 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)
E lizabeth tucked her arm into Aunt Gardiner’s as soon as they descended from the coach and crossed into the elegant arcade in Bond Street. The shop fronts had equally elegant displays of shawls, ribbons, silverware, and books.
Elizabeth was intent on gaining detailed information about which of her products were perhaps being copied, and what items could be given unique changes or embellishments.
“Lizzy! We came out to enjoy our morning, not make too much of a business trip out of it.” Aunt Gardiner’s voice was gently reproving.
“Of course, Aunt. But it is so hard to see this and know that I…” Elizabeth paused. The walkway was fairly crowded, and she certainly did not wish to be overheard.
She stopped to gaze at a pair of beautifully detailed silver candlesticks, and studied them closely. “These look very well-made, though, Aunt.”
“Are you planning a grand soirée, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth laughed softly. “You know I am not, my dearest aunt. You would be the first invited if I were.”
But I can imagine them on the table in my own dining room. She frowned . How big a house am I imagining? I must make sure Mr. Reed does not waste time on houses that are too small. I need to add to the list of requirements I made for him.
She pushed the thought away; her mind having conjuring Mr. Darcy standing at the table, contemplating the candlesticks, his face illuminated with the flickering candles. That was quite enough of that. She must move onto other matters where he did not intrude.
“I really ought to buy a few more things for my sisters for Christmas. I think Lydia and Kitty would like a few more ribbons in the baskets I’ve assembled.
Look, those narrow ones with little patterns are rather pretty and they are not available in Meryton.
” She tugged her aunt’s arm. “May we go in and get them? For Mary; I want to buy some new music, and for Jane I had thought there might be a new book of recipes for scents to make in the stillroom. It will be a change for her from always making remedies for the tenants. And Mama might like a length of that Chantilly lace, do you think?”
“What about your father? Another book?”
Elizabeth laughed at that. “He has no possible room in his library, Aunt. I found out from Mr. Hill that he has a small length of wall in the master’s chambers, and I have commissioned a bookcase to fit exactly in there. Then I can give him books for the next five birthdays at least!”
Her aunt squeezed her arm. “That is very thoughtful, my dear. He will be pleased.” She hesitated. “How are we going to fit it in the coach with all of us travelling together?”
“There is nothing to be concerned about,” Elizabeth shot her an impish smile. “It has already been taken to Longbourn and Mr. Hill was ready for it and it is hidden, and covered with a sheet in a quiet corner of the barn.”
“Lizzy,” her aunt said quietly. “I had envisioned this morning as the chance to promenade here under cover from the weather and discuss what happened in your office yesterday. Your uncle told me that you have instructed Mr. Reed to search out a country house for you to lease.” Her expression was concerned. “Do you not feel you will be lonely?”
Elizabeth glanced at her. “I am happy to promenade if you wish to talk, Aunt. You know I have no secrets from you. But yes, I wish for somewhere that is quiet and peaceful; private and where I can decide who is there, and what is served at mealtimes.” She tightened her arm on her aunt’s hand.
“I have been thinking of asking Charlotte to live with me. She will be good company — we have been dear friends for a long time.”
“Will you tell her all your secrets?”
Elizabeth shook her head slowly. “Not at present. I do trust her, but it is hard to begin to share such things. Although it would be more convenient if she were living in the house.”
“Perhaps once you are settled, it will be easier to make a decision that you are happy with, my dear.”
“I hope so, I really do.” Elizabeth shivered a little. “Is there time to sit in the tea shop for a while, or would it be better for us to go home now?”
“Let us take tea here, Lizzy. I think you want to mull over the decisions you’re making without the temptations of the warehouse and your journals.” Aunt Gardiner smiled.
Over tea, her aunt gave her a gentle look, full of understanding. “I think you’ve been contemplating this idea for quite a while, have you not? But now things are beginning to happen, you are questioning the wisdom of it?”
“I am.” Elizabeth gave her a rueful smile. “You are very wise.”
Aunt looked pensive. “I remember the Lizzy of ten years ago — and of all the years since then, right up until recently. You were able to make a decision quickly; able to weigh up all the different factors and costings in your mind in a very few minutes, and then the decision was made and you followed it through with energy and conviction.” She smiled.
“So what has happened in the last few months to make you less sure of yourself?”
Elizabeth shrugged slightly. “I am sure you don’t really need me to answer you, I expect you have a reasonably good idea of it yourself.”
“Of course. It happens to all ladies at about this time in their life — maybe earlier, sometimes a little later.”
“You are talking of marriage,” Elizabeth said flatly. “But you know — you must know — of the risk to me.”
“I do. But sometimes the questions must be answered to your satisfaction. And sometimes you know there is no certain answer.”
Elizabeth looked down. “And this is one decision that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. It is not one where I can change course if I do not like it.”
“I know it seems too practical and unromantic to consider these issues,” her aunt agreed. “But, if you are very detailed with the marriage settlements — and your uncle can help with this — it is possible to extricate yourself with your fortune and business intact, if it proves intolerable.”
Elizabeth’s gaze flicked up to her aunt. “No man would sign such, would he?”
The rich chuckle startled her. “It would certainly test his devotion to you!”
“It would, I suppose.” Elizabeth sighed, trying to push away the thoughts of a handsome gentleman who had, several times at the house party, looked as if he wished to protect her from other gentlemen.
“But I think that is enough for today. I had forgotten, I am seeing Lady Palmer tomorrow, and we are taking Lady Mildred out for the morning. I wish to buy a little gift for Lady Palmer to thank her for her kindness in taking me to Warwickshire.”