Page 10 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)

T he next morning, Elizabeth lay on her bed, feeling uncharacteristically indolent. She had risen early and walked up to the top of Oakham Mount, but on returning, could not summon the energy to finish her letter to Mr. Reed.

Perhaps she would receive a reply from Uncle Gardiner today, and it would inspire her to begin thinking of her business again, and to resume working for her future and that of her sisters, too.

Letters she received from her aunt and uncle were retained by her father so that no one else in the family would know just how many she received.

Elizabeth tapped on the library door ten minutes after she saw the post rider turning away from the house, and five minutes after that, she was climbing into the woods again towards the hidden little glade with the soft, mossy bank she could rest on, her aunt’s letter in her reticule.

Once there, Elizabeth wasted no time in settling onto the bank. Drawing Aunt’s letter out and breaking the seal, she took a moment to wonder why her aunt had replied rather than her uncle. But she would have wise counsel in this letter, she was certain.

Dearest Lizzy

Your uncle shared your letter with me this morning, and reading between the lines, we feel you may be beginning to wonder why you are working so hard at this for so little change to your outer life while you are yet young enough to enjoy yourself.

I am sorry you feel you ought to stay at Longbourn a little longer; it would be better if you were in town and able to confide in us more easily. You would also be able to benefit from the better style of life you have worked so hard to earn, instead of having to hide it.

I laughed when you described Mr. Darcy discussing with you the perils of being pursued by every fortune hunter who meets him. I imagine he found it refreshing to be able to discuss these issues irreverently, even if it was at the assembly.

(As an aside, I wonder if you ought not to keep the fact that our name is Gardiner a secret from him.

If he is a customer of ours through his sister, and he recognised the crimson fabric was also from us, he will eventually find out that you are our niece and if he thinks you have prevaricated and wonders why you did so, he will be more suspicious than he might otherwise be.)

But I also think the issue of his being pursued by fortune hunters might have made you consider your own position, even though you are not aware of it.

Because in the future, when you begin to live the life of wealth that you have earned by dint of hard work and willingness to take risks; you too will find yourself pursued by those who wish to acquire your fortune by way of marriage.

The only way to avoid that is by continuing as you are, pretending to live the life of one of the lower gentry, and hiding your wealth.

It must make you wonder why you have worked so hard all these years to gain that wealth, if you cannot use it to enjoy yourself, and feel proud of what you have achieved.

While you are feeling this way, it will be as well to allow yourself some hours or days to really think and consider the course you have set yourself.

You now have an extraordinary fortune that you have earned for yourself, and the business you have is an asset that will continue to bring you an income; you might wish to stop now and just live the life you wish to; or you may want to continue with a new vision in your mind — and one that doesn’t just want to give your sisters each their own exceptional security.

That would take even you a very long time, my dear, and I believe it would just foster in you a deep resentment that you have to be the one to do it, rather than your parents.

I can almost see you rolling your eyes as you read this, Lizzy, my dear, and I hope you will come to London soon. Jane is older than you, and she does not need your protection all the time.

You have to stop feeling that it is your responsibility to protect and order everyone’s lives so they have no problems or difficulty that you cannot fix before they even realise it is a problem.

Regardless of whether or not you come to town, there are many reasons people make the effort to obtain wealth.

Some of these, such as greed and an appetite for power, may be discounted in your case at once; but we can consider others.

You began with a mathematical mind, and a curiosity to see how you could make it work. But that is no longer enough, now you know that you can increase your wealth, both with pennies and much larger amounts.

Have you considered any reasons that you might wish to continue working to amass wealth?

Do you want security?

Perhaps marriage?

Do you want consideration as a woman of fortune?

Freedom from the necessity of marriage?

Or might there be a benevolent purpose that you may wish to divert some of your earnings towards?

As an example, your uncle and I give a regular sum to the orphanage, and as you know I also work there one afternoon each week.

It helps me know that there is something I can give to those in desperate circumstances, and I assist the girls to make more of their lives than they otherwise could, while your uncle adds to the funds available there to allow it to continue.

(Your uncle has just looked over my shoulder to see what I have written and bids me to tell you that you should never allow your customers to find out to where their money is going, as it may anger them.)

It is easier to work at something for a reason, and being wealthy is not a reason, it is merely a means to the end that you want.

I think you may not have thought of this before, after all, you were so young when you began that your reason was merely a determination to learn.

But in the last ten years you have matured and grown up, Lizzy. Your uncle and I are so proud of you and all you have achieved.

But, with that maturity, you need to look around you to see if your priorities have changed and why.

While you will say you have more to learn, I would suggest that you also need a better reason within yourself to be content; whether that is to continue in this business; or continue it while scaling back a little, to have time for enjoyment on the side; or even whether to stop completely and ‘live off your four per cents’, which I understand was the very first question you asked your father about financial matters when you were four years old.

Do come to town if you feel you possibly can, my dear. You know we would love to see you, and I know that your enthusiasm is reinvigorated when you are here.

Your loving aunt.

M G

Elizabeth read the letter again thoughtfully, before folding it and putting it back in her reticule.

She walked further up into the woods, pondering what her aunt had said, and wondering why she had blindly concentrated on gaining wealth without ever considering the reasons for doing so.

Perhaps it would be better to go to town; it would be good to actually be able to speak to her aunt while she considered what she’d read.

But what if Jane lost the chance at Mr. Bingley because she wasn’t here to deflect the spite of his sisters? Although Aunt had said it was not her business to put the whole world to rights.

She smiled, of course Jane — dear Jane — would tell her to go to town if she wished to. Elizabeth’s lips tightened. Would Mama be so overbearing that she frightened Mr. Bingley off? Would Mary think of being a proper chaperone so that Jane and Mr. Bingley could walk in the gardens?

She sighed, wondering what would be the best thing to do. Although, if she had been in town before the Netherfield party had arrived, Jane would have had to have managed without her.

Yes, she would ask Papa if she could go to town.

She turned for home, realising that the gentlemen would be likely to call this afternoon.

She could consider on the way home whether — and how — to tell Mr. Darcy that Gardiner’s was owned by her uncle.

He would never divine that she earned much of the wealth of Gardiner’s Eastern and Oriental Emporium.