Page 41 of Count the Cost (The Secrets of Elizabeth Bennet #2)
F inally, finally , they were leaving Horston Grange.
Elizabeth could relax. It had been necessary to control her impatience because Lady Palmer needed to take the journey slowly due to her age.
Daventry, their first night stop, was only a few hours’ journey away, and so she had decided to leave during the late morning.
And Elizabeth did not mind, not really. After a leisurely breakfast, they had sat in the drawing room while everything was being made ready.
Most of the gentlemen had left earlier and Elizabeth managed to escape for a quiet walk with Mildred, thus avoiding the girl’s mother who was as disparaging to Mildred as Elizabeth’s Mama was to her.
Followed by Mildred’s maid, Elizabeth told her new friend about her life in Hertfordshire, and the way Mama often disparaged her looks and the fact that Elizabeth had had the temerity not to have been born a boy.
“I cannot understand it,” Mildred said. “You could not help being born a girl — surely that was her fault. And you are truly beautiful.”
Elizabeth laughed lightly. “Anyone will pale in beauty if they stand next to my eldest sister, my dear. I am quite happy with my looks, even if Mama is not.” She squeezed the girl’s arm.
“In any case, I am quite certain we are going to be good friends and write to each other often.”
“Oh, yes! I would like that, if you can spare me the time.”
“There is no sparing the time about it. I will make the time, because it will be a great pleasure to me.” Elizabeth looked at her appraisingly.
“You know, you are beautiful too. You just hide it by looking anxious and afraid.” She stopped.
“Would you think it a great imposition if I were to suggest something?”
“Of course not!”
“Well, I think your sister could come out for the season; and if you ask your father, he may well agree to let you have your own come out during the little season. I would do my best to be in town for that, and we could have such fun!”
But now, it was time. Elizabeth relaxed back into the comfortable coach cushions with a sigh and Lady Palmer laughed. “You seem to be as enthusiastic to be away from here as I am, my dear.”
Elizabeth grimaced ruefully. “I really had not considered how exhausting being in society can be.” She laughed lightly. “I am in awe of how well you managed it all!”
“Ah, I am excused many things because of my age, you know. But then I was also raised to it, whereas you were not.”
Elizabeth smiled at the older woman. “You have been everything kind and generous to me. I am grateful, I do not know how else I might have gained experience of society yet still have the chance to withdraw to obscurity again.”
“I hope it all works for you — if that’s what you really want.” Lady Palmer leaned back and closed her eyes. Elizabeth recognised the subterfuge, her putative great aunt wanted Elizabeth to really think about the past few days and what she had learned.
She didn’t mind that, for it was what she wanted to do.
Peace and quiet to consider everything carefully.
Although it might take a little while to silence the chatter in her head, and her business was coming to the forefront of her thoughts.
Harps, fans and dark grey doeskin gloves.
She would have to find other gift items for gentlemen so that she could give ladies a proper choice.
No. First, she must consider everything that had happened. She drew a deep breath and gazed out of the window.
The coach was rolling through quiet countryside, and the pastoral atmosphere was conducive to quiet reflection, Elizabeth thought.
Mr. Darcy. She smiled slightly, remembering her shock when he had entered the drawing room that first evening.
But she had begun to change her opinion of him, she knew.
He was not so proud as she had thought him.
She remembered the way he had tried to assist her when Mr. Talbot was attempting to monopolise her attention.
She frowned; that gentleman was a truly detestable man.
Did his threats mean anything? Lady Palmer had said not to be anxious about it, and Elizabeth had tried not to. But the worry kept returning.
If he had said anything, it did not appear to have made a difference.
The gentlemen had continued to flock around her whenever they were in company with the ladies, and Elizabeth frowned.
Was it really just because she was new to their society and they found novelty in her presence, or was there something more?
She recalled Lady Bedford’s antagonism to her — Elizabeth couldn’t stop the gentlemen approaching her, so there was nothing she could have done about it, although she could understand the lady’s annoyance. But it was harder to forgive the woman’s determination to separate her from Mildred.
Her lips tightened; she may not have much time once she was busy at home, but she was determined to write to Mildred each week. The girl needed to have her confidence boosted.
She thought for a moment. Could she send her a small gift?
Perhaps one to her sister as well, so she did not cause discord between them?
What gift would be safe that would make Mildred feel better about herself?
It could not be anything from Gardiner’s unfortunately; that might arouse suspicion of where she was and lead to her discovery.
It was a pity, a shawl would be the very thing.
But she could find some music, she was sure, and then she could send Lady Cecilia some art materials — Mildred had said her sister enjoyed art more than music.
Elizabeth could say it was a thank you for the opportunity to join the house party.
They had been travelling for little more than an hour when the coach turned into a well-appointed inn and Elizabeth turned a surprised gaze to Lady Palmer, who smiled at her.
“I did not want to stay for lunch at Horston Grange, and I think you were glad to leave, too. But we do not want to arrive at our night stop too early, and I like the food here. We shall lunch quietly, just the two of us.”
The food had been as good as she had been led to expect, and the conversation was superficial and undemanding. Then, Lady Palmer’s deep pockets allowed the ladies to go through to another private parlour, rather than waiting for the table to be cleared.
They sat in very comfortable armchairs before the fire. Elizabeth sighed contentedly. “I will begin to think that all travel is like this.”
“You must not believe it,” Lady Palmer laughed. “I have a little list for every conceivable journey in England. You will not find me choosing an inn I have not been happy with before.”
Elizabeth smiled slightly. “I suppose you have them checked when you can, to ensure they have not changed hands and have declined in standards?”
I will have to attempt to acquire this list if I am going to travel. After all, what is money for if not to allow me to be comfortable?
The other merely huffed a laugh, before moving on to more serious matters. “I know, of course, that I am returning you to your aunt and uncle when we get back to London, but what are your plans for the future?”
Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I will stay with them for a little while, as I have missed them. Then we will all go to Longbourn for Christmas, of course. After that? I am not sure.”
I am certain that I may yet be sought out; my life is moving down a path that I may not like.
Having a great deal of money, without admitting to it — well, it is not surprising that I may need to make other plans.
A small estate somewhere might be nice. I will not always have to keep secrets, large and small.
Even having to have Papa retain her letters so the family could not see them was an inconvenience which often rankled, even though it was not really any trouble; yet she sighed. Would there ever be anyone else she could really trust with everything?
She jerked upright; it had shocked her that the image of a handsome face with dark hair and a penetrating gaze coalesced in her mind, and she shivered and shook her head.
When she looked across the room, she saw Lady Palmer was looking at her contemplatively.
“I hope you will forgive me saying this, my dear. I am aware you are more than you allow people to see. You have an exceptional intelligence, but a deep secret you wish to keep.” She smiled.
“I know you can talk to your aunt, and while I will never demand your confidences, I want you to know that if you ever need advice regarding the reactions of the first circles, or other experience I have, I can — and do — keep many secrets, if you ever need to unburden yourself.” She smiled.
“But not tonight, my dear. I think we both need a night’s rest in comfort and away from an atmosphere charged with tension, as there was at the Bedford estate.
But allow me to say just one thing more.
As I have said, you are exceedingly clever.
You are also determined. But I beg you to understand and accept that you are not as invulnerable as you may think yourself. ” She gave Elizabeth a stern look.
“I am very glad that you took Clarke outside with you when Mr. Talbot might have reacted badly to your rejection. But these events may come more often. You must be prepared, and very careful. You have unmarried sisters to consider, too.”