Page 66 of Confessions

“I’m not!” Bobby said, and to Nadine’s surprise, Hayden grabbed the boy and wrestled him onto the floor. Bobby giggled and ended up on top, “pinning” Hayden until John joined in the fun. They rolled across the carpet, three bodies clinging together as one, laughing and muttering and working up a sweat.

Nadine watched in horror and awe. She’d seen the boys wrestle before, just as she’d watched her two brothers lunge and fight with each other when she’d grown up. Once in a while she’d even caught her father rolling around with Kevin and Ben. But Sam had never shown an interest in playing so physically with the boys. At the time she’d thought it a blessing, but now, seeing Bobby’s red face and glowing eyes, watching as John leapt onto Hayden’s back and unable to pull him down, started to laugh, she wondered if her sons had been missing out on some natural, primeval male bonding.

They crashed into a leg of the coffee table, and Hayden flopped onto his back. “You got me,” he told the boys breathlessly, though Nadine suspected he wasn’t near as winded as he put on.

“More, more!” Bobby cried.

“Not now, sport. I’m all in.”

“No way,” John said.

“That’s enough, boys. Hayden’s right. It’s about time for bed,” Nadine said.

After the usual protests and the fight over brushing their teeth and scrubbing their faces, both boys climbed into their bunks. Bobby was nearly asleep when Nadine bent over his pillow and kissed him, and John, too, was soon breathing deeply and evenly.

“You’re lucky,” Hayden told her, as he watched her pick up clothes that had been dropped everywhere on the floor. She tossed the small heap into a hamper.

They walked down the steps together. “Lucky? Because of the boys?” she asked, then smiled. “I know. I’ll never regret marrying Sam if only because he gave me my sons.”

“It doesn’t take much of a man to conceive a kid. The hard part’s the next twenty years.” He helped her carry the popcorn bowl and glasses into the kitchen.

“So now you want kids?”

“No,” he said quickly, and he might as well have stuck a knife in her heart.

“You might make a wonderful father.”

His head jerked up quickly and his gaze sharpened. “You think so?”

“From what I’ve seen.”

“I was just playing with the kids. That’s all. It wasn’t a big deal!”

“It was just an observation, Hayden.” She placed the glasses into the dishwasher before she understood his reaction. As the light dawned, her blood began to boil. “It wasn’t a hint, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“What am I supposed to think?”

“You’re the one who showed up on my doorstep.” She slammed the dishwasher shut and turned on him. “Was there a reason you came to see me? I mean something more than just to stop by and insult me? If you haven’t noticed, I’ve done all right by myself these past couple of years. I take care of myself and my sons, and I don’t need help from you or any other man for that matter, so if you think I’m in the market for a husband, you’ve got another think coming!” she said with more vehemence than she expected. She started to stride past him, but he hooked the crook of her arm with a hand.

“I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the air between them, like icicles that wouldn’t melt. She yanked her arm free. “I also don’t need your pity, Prince.”

“Believe me, you don’t have it. I feel a lot of things for you, Nadine—some things I don’t even understand myself. I respect you, I care for you, I admire you and sometimes I even envy you—”

She snorted. “You envy me. That’s a good one.”

“It’s true. But in all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never, ever pitied you,” he said firmly. “You know your own mind, take care of yourself, aren’t afraid to stand up for what you think’s right and I’ll bet, if your back’s to a corner or someone threatens your kids, you come out fighting like a she-bear. On top of that, you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

She supposed she should be flattered. She supposed she should take pride in his compliments. But all she felt was an empty void. Wrapping her arms around herself, she rubbed away the goose bumps that had risen on her flesh.

“Why did you come here?” she finally asked.

His jaw worked for a second, and the air between them became thick with emotions. “I came because I couldn’t stay away.”

“You act as if that’s a curse.”

He smiled crookedly. “Isn’t it?” His eyes searched hers, and for a second she couldn’t tear her gaze from his. Rather than answer, she quickly gathered up the empty boxes, which had held the tree ornaments, and carried them to the garage. Hayden followed her and helped her put the containers back on their shelves.