Page 167 of Confessions

Carlie swallowed hard. “What?” she asked, though part of her didn’t want to know. He was too cold, too calmly angry.

Shoving himself upright, he walked across the short space that separated them and stared down at her. His skin was tight, the muscles in his face so tense, they stretched rigidly across the angles of his face. “Tell me about the baby.”

“What baby? I already told you—”

“You lied!” he said. “I want to know about our baby.”

“Oh, God,” she whispered, swallowing hard. Our baby. “How—how did you find out?”

“So it’s true.” The sound of his voice seemed to echo in the small room and through her heart.

She nodded, unable to trust her voice. The pain and disappointment in his eyes cut her to the quick.

“And you didn’t tell me,” he said. “Didn’t you think I’d want to know? Didn’t you think I had that right?”

“I did try! Over and over again!”

“Did you? Or did you get rid of it and hoped that I never found out.”

“No!”

“You lying—”

“No! Oh, God, no!” she cried, anger mixed with her grief. “I wanted that baby more than I wanted anything in my life! And do you know why? Because that baby was a part of you. The only part I had left.”

His eyes accused her of lying, but she didn’t care. “I found out I was pregnant just before you left for the army. I tried to tell you, to phone you or write you or let you know, but you wouldn’t take my calls and you sent my letters back unopened. I didn’t know who to tell, who I could trust. Don’t you remember, Ben? Kevin had just died and everything was such a mess.”

She was shaking with the old memories, her heart turned to stone. “Then you were gone...and so was the baby.”

He didn’t move, just stood in silent judgment.

“So you did have an—”

“No! I miscarried!” She could feel his breath in two hot streams against her cheeks. “Damn it, Ben, I would have done anything, anything to keep that baby. To keep a part of you! But I failed,” she said, her voice cracking. “I barely knew I was pregnant when you left, not much more than a suspicion. Then the doctor confirmed it and the next week...well, it was over.”

“You should have let me know—”

“You wouldn’t let me. And then it was too late.”

A muscle worked in his jaw. “Was it too late the other night?”

“Yes!” she said vehemently. “After all the accusations you leveled at me when I first got back into town, I didn’t think it would be such a good idea.”

“So you were never going to tell me?”

“I hoped to, but not until I thought we both could handle it.” Tears were hot against the back of her eyes. “I’m not sure that would have ever happened.”

“Neither am I,” he said, and without another word he stalked through the door and out of her life.

Chapter Twelve

CARLIE STARED DOWN at the bustling street below. Cars, trucks and cabs jammed the intersection. Pedestrians, heads bent against the sleet, umbrellas vying for space, scurried along the sidewalk and spilled between parked vehicles. The noise of the city never quit. Horns blared, people yelled, engines thrummed, twenty stories below.

New York. So far removed from Gold Creek.

“Okay, that’s it!” Constance said as she hung up the phone. A tiny woman with a big voice, she snapped the file on her desk shut with manicured hands and swiveled her chair to face Carlie. “The photographer is happy with the shots—well, as happy as Dino ever is—and it looks like the Cosmos campaign is rolling.”

“Good,” Carlie said, forcing some enthusiasm into her voice.