Page 141 of Confessions

But she couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. Instead she silenced those awful doubts and thrilled to the wonder of being with him. His hands, rough and callused, rubbed anxiously across her skin and he lowered the top of her dress slowly to reveal a lacy camisole and filmy bra.

“Oh, Carlie,” he murmured as he kissed her cheek and neck, lowering himself leisurely, letting his lips and tongue trail along her collarbones before drifting lower and leaving a dewy path that chilled when the air touched that sensitive film. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.” His breath whispered across the dusky hollow of her breasts as he tasted of the lace that covered her nipples. “I’ve missed you.”

She arched off the rug and he took more of her into his mouth, licking and sucking, gently teasing.

Liquid heat swirled deep inside her and her fingers delved deep into his hair, holding his head in place, offering more of herself.

Don’t do this! Carlie, think! her desperate mind screamed as he lowered the straps of lace that were small protection against his seductive assault.

He doesn’t love you. Doesn’t even like you. You’re setting yourself up for more pain than you can imagine.

Moaning, she felt her bra and camisole slip away, knew she was naked from the waist up and reveled in the feel of his hands and mouth slowly moving over her flesh, stoking the flames of desire already running rampant in her blood. “Ben,” she whispered.

He slid one hand inside her dress, pushing it over her hips while he suckled at her breast.

Writhing with desire, she worked on the buttons of his shirt. Her mind was blurry with emotion, her heart pounding, the ache deep within her crying to be filled.

He’s using you! He’s playing you for a fool! Remember what happened before. Oh, Carlie, think! Before it’s too late!

His hand slid lower, beneath the waistband of her panties.

Remember the baby! For God’s sake, Carlie, remember the baby! “Ben, no!” she said, alarm bells clanging wildly in her mind.

He froze, every muscle strident and taut.

“We...we can’t. I can’t!” Tears welled from nowhere in her eyes as he gazed down at her. “This is...this is too fast,” she said, feeling like a fool as she lay, half-naked beneath him. “Way too fast.” His shirt was open and his chest rose and fell with the effort of his breathing. A fine sheen of sweat glistened on his skin.

Slowly he rolled off her. She watched as he drew in long, mind-clearing breaths. “Too fast?” he said, once his voice worked again. “It’s been eleven years!” With a sigh, he stared at the ceiling. “What do you want from me, Carlie? Hearts and flowers? Champagne and moonlit walks, diamonds and promises—the whole ball of wax?”

“I—” She struggled back into her clothes. “I don’t want to make a mistake.”

“I’ve got news for you, darlin’,” he said, rolling onto his side and staring at her. His mouth curved into a self-deprecating smile. “We’re way past making our first mistake, or our second or third. The way I figure it, we’re in double-digits, maybe triple.”

Carlie couldn’t argue with his logic, cynical though it may be, but she wasn’t a girl any longer. She was a woman determined to control her own destiny. Ben was making it difficult—damned difficult. “Okay, so I don’t want to make any more, or at least I don’t want to make one that will follow me for the rest of my life.”

“Like sleeping with me?”

She swallowed hard against that painful lump. “Yes.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Seems to me we already crossed that bridge,” he pointed out, his hazel eyes sharpening as he stared at her.

“Not in recent history.”

He snorted. “Taking it slow with you is like trying to stop a runaway train.”

She had the urge to scream. It was all she could do to control her tongue. “Look, I’m not blaming you, okay? I’m here. A responsible adult. I’m supposed to know what I’m doing and so...I think we should just be careful.”

He stared at her long and hard, his eyes roving over her body. She was stretched out on the thick Oriental carpet, her body only inches from his and she felt a flood of embarrassment wash up her neck. He touched her cheek and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Okay, Carlie, you win. I didn’t come over here to try and seduce you. I just wanted to apologize and get to know you again—not necessarily in the Biblical sense, although—” his eyes sparkled with a seductive gleam “—that would have been nice.”

“Forget it, Powell,” she said, finally able to laugh as she levered up on one elbow and tossed her hair over her shoulders. “This is probably the same old line you told every girl you met all over the world when you were in the army.”

“I didn’t have time for girls, or women for that matter, while I served.”

She shook her head. “I’ve heard about soldiers and sailors and marines. You’re not going to convince me that you never had a date—”

“Okay, I had a few,” he conceded. “Well, more than a few, but nothing that lasted over a couple of weeks.” She narrowed her eyes skeptically and he lifted a shoulder. “It’s true. I was pretty dedicated and I moved around a lot and whenever a woman got too serious, I stopped seeing her.”

“So you broke a million hearts all over the world.”