Page 62 of Confessions

He grabbed her quickly, and the jacket slid to the floor as he pulled her down on top of him on the couch.

“Hayden, don’t—” she said, but giggled as his arms surrounded her.

“Don’t what?” he asked into her open mouth.

“I thought we weren’t going to do this—”

“We’re not.” He kissed her, nibbling on her lower lip and causing shivers to race up her spine. Sighing, she opened her mouth to him and his tongue sought quick entrance. With sure strokes it touched the roof of her mouth and explored the insides of her cheeks before finding its mate.

Closing her eyes, Nadine kissed him back. She didn’t protest when his hand cupped her buttocks, drawing her tighter to his hardness.

“You make me do things I’ve never done in my life,” he admitted when he finally broke the kiss and stared up at her. He smoothed the cascade of red curls from her face and let his fingertips press gently against her neck, while his eyes strayed lower, to her breasts as they rose and fell against him. “However, wearing flashy clothes isn’t one of them.”

“No?” she teased, baiting him on purpose.

“I can think of better things.” His gaze locked with hers, and he let his hand slide downward until he felt the weight of one breast in his palm. Nadine moaned softly, and his fingers squeezed. Desire swept through her in a hot torrent as his fingers fondled her through her clothes.

She closed her eyes, arching back, thrusting out her breasts.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, drawing her down and burying his face against her sternum. “I want you.” He closed his eyes as if to clear his head and didn’t open them again as he said, “I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you in your dad’s old pickup. I thought years and time would change that, but I was wrong. The reverse is true. I want you more now than I did as a kid.”

Her throat closed in on itself so she couldn’t swallow; she hardly dared believe him.

Pulling her down to him again, he held her tight and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “This is killing me, but we’ll play it your way, Nadine. I don’t know how, but we’ll give it a damned good try.”

He slapped her playfully on the butt, then forced them both into an upright position. Strain showed in the brackets near his mouth. “Do you really believe we can have a relationship without sex?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Well, I guess we’ll find out. But let me tell you, it’s gonna be hell!”

* * *

HAYDEN WAS TRUE to his word. He started showing up at her house on a regular basis and convinced her to keep working for him. He wanted her to hire the carpenters and handymen to over

see the repairs to the summer home while he spent his days at the mill. He never discussed his plans for the future of the company, and Nadine had never asked, though the few times she’d seen Sam, he was convinced that Hayden was going to do his level best to see that every employee of the company got his walking papers.

Fortunately, the boys hadn’t told Sam about the fact that Hayden visited nearly every night, that sometimes he ate dinner with them or that he had taken them for speedboat rides across the lake. He’d promised to take them skiing as soon as the first storm dumped enough snow onto the mountains.

And they’d never made love again, though they’d come close a time or two when the boys were asleep upstairs and they were alone in front of the fire, but Hayden had always broken off their embrace and Nadine had been left feeling frustrated and doubting that she would much longer be able to abide by her own moral code.

As Christmas approached, there was more demand for her funky jewelry. She stopped by the Rexall Drugstore in the middle of town to check her inventory. The store, located on the corner of Pine and Main had a turn-of-the-century charm. It seemed more like an old-fashioned mercantile than a modern pharmacy. Paddle fans rotated to the strains of Christmas carols filling the store with soft music. Red and green tinsel was strung over the aisles, which were more crowded than ever with excess merchandise—cards, wrapping paper, gift ideas, decorations, even fruitcakes.

The rack that displayed her jewelry was near the front of the store, and as she approached the counter she realized that more than half of the original inventory had already been sold. There was a “lot of interest” in her pieces, the woman behind the counter confided to her.

Before she left, Nadine decided to buy a cup of cocoa at the back counter. She slid onto a vacant stool and dropped her purse at her feet before she recognized the girl sitting next to her as Carlie Surrett. Their gazes met in the mirror over the soda machine, and Nadine’s insides went cold.

“Hello, Nadine,” Carlie ventured, and Nadine forced a smile she didn’t feel. Carlie was a beautiful girl with long, straight black hair and deep blue eyes. She’d been a model for some years, then turned photographer before she’d returned to Gold Creek only a few months before.

And she’d been the cause of Kevin’s death.

This girl—this woman—had broken Nadine’s oldest brother’s heart, and when he’d discovered his love was unreturned, he’d pulled his car into the garage of his apartment, closed the door and let the engine run until he’d died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Nadine forced a greeting over her tongue. She told herself she couldn’t blame Carlie, but couldn’t fight the rage that burned in her heart. If only Carlie had treated Kevin more kindly, he might still be alive today.

Carlie’s mother, Thelma, the waitress behind the counter, glanced at Nadine, snapped open her order pad and, without a smile, took her order. The pain between the two families had existed for years, and no one was able, or cared, to bridge the gap.

In a thunder of footsteps, five-year-old Adam Brooks, dressed in full cowboy regalia, scurried to the counter. His mother, Heather, and her sister, Rachelle Moore, were laughing, dragging shopping bags and obviously breathless as they walked down the aisle toward the back of the store. While Heather was petite and blond, and just beginning to show her pregnancy, Rachelle was tall and willowy, with long red-brown hair that fell to her waist.