Page 91 of Choosing Hope

“I felt envious. Carlo experiencing your pleasure made me feel physically sick.”

I’d been slouching on the couch, and sat up suddenly, realizing my error.

“And before you say it, I realize how hypocritical that is.”

For the first time, she breaks eye contact, peering down at the floor, appearing dejected. Her action makes the bottom fall out of my stomach.

“The two of you appeared so perfect. Your flawless bodies sliding together is one of the sexist things I’ve ever seen.”

I peer at her neckline, a glimpse of the soft contours of her breasts clear over the top of her dress.

“Seeing your eyes flare with excitement when he entered you nearly made me cum in my pants.”

The rapid rise and fall of her chest thickens my cock.

“Kalie is beautiful,” she whispers.

A chill blankets every inch of my body at the sound of her name on my wife’s lips.

Seeing Sophie’s vulnerability physically hurts. My instinct is to reach for her but as my hand slides along the cushion toward her, I sense the need to stop.

“I didn’t want her to touch me last night, and I don’t want her to touch me again.”

Her gaze collides with mine.

“Seeing you in a sex club again flipped something in my head...it’s hard to explain.” I stop to think. “I don’t want the mother of my child in there.”

She opens her mouth to object, and I raise my hand to stop her.

“And I don’t want her father in there either. Kalie and that place made me feel dirty last night.”

Sophie presses her lips together firmly, and I can tell she’s trying not to smile.

“Ironic, huh?” I quip, hoping to safeguard the serene atmosphere between us.

It’s a relief to see her cheeky grin.

“Kind of.”

Her attention drops to my hand. Reaching forward, she places her fingers on my palm. I automatically curl my much larger hand around hers, allowing my shoulders to relax a little.

“When is your next appointment with Dr. Klein?”

“On Tuesday evening,” I say, enjoying the sensation of her hand in mine.

“And you’re finding it beneficial to talk about everything?”

“I think so. My head is so confused with all of this. I don’t want to be this person, Sophie. Not for you, not for Lily, and not for myself.”

“What about Carlo?” she asks.

“What about him?” I demand. The air suddenly getting trapped in my lungs .

Is she going to tell me I’ve got to give him up?

“You need each other, Spence. He’s already told me he doesn’t want the three of us to be a regular thing.”

Her shoulders rise a few degrees and then fall again.