Page 55 of Choosing Hope

I stop speaking abruptly, unsure if I can voice the issue that’s been plaguing me. Once I’ve said it out loud, I can’t take it back, and I’m not sure what that means.

“But what?” he prompts.

I stare at him gritting my teeth.

Our bartender places six shot glasses on the bar in front of us, and we both watch as he fills each to the brim.

The second he’s finished; I pick one up and slam it down. The honey-colored liquid burns all the way down.

Carlo’s tongue flicks over his hand; he adds some salt; the grains stick to the moist patch. He stoops his head to lick it off, but halts when I speak again.

“I can’t recreate the sensations I had with you and Sophie, or Chess, come to that.”

His head slowly pivots to me. He stares, and I wait to hear his conclusion, but it never comes. Like he’s frozen in position.

To challenge him, I pull his hand toward my mouth, licking the salt off before slamming another shot.

When my gaze meets his again, his eyebrows rise, shocked to witness me doing something so intimate in public.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you speechless before,” I tease.

He lifts his hand to his mouth, his tongue slowly licking over the trail of saliva I’ve left behind.

“Are we making these our last drinks?” he demands.

His voice is deep, distorted. Clearly as affected by me as I am by him.

My cock twitches.Fuck, am I really going to do this?Carlo and I haven’t been alone in bed together for months.

I nod but my need to explain my position is too great to resist.

“This doesn’t mean I’m bi,” I whisper, examining my last shot.

“Stop trying to label it, Spence.” My gaze flits back to him. “Just enjoy it. If you reach the stage when you don’t, we’ll stop.”

“What about Sophie?” I demand, keeping my head down, unable to see any discomfort in his expression.

“Trust me, Spencer. Sophie would rather you were fucking me than Kalie.”

I nod, certain he’s right, and watch as he slams down his drink, leaning his shoulder into mine. His gesture is one of support. I lean into it, accepting in this moment how much I need him.

Chapter Twelve

Spencer

When we arrive at the hotel, it feels good to wash my conversation with Carlo off. I’m sure Sophie would struggle to believe it, but I do have a conscience. I’m ashamed of my actions, however I just don’t seem to have the willpower to stop.

I’m enjoying the heat and sense of cleansing the water gives me. I tilt my face into the thundering stream, allowing it to drum into my skin.

I sense Carlo before Isee or hear him.

When I announced I was going for a shower, I was certain he’d join me. I silently thank God because my cock has been aching at the thought of him touching me all night.

As he presses his naked body against mine, I turn my head. Our mouths meet, fusing together in a desperate and passionate kiss.

Sex with Carlo has always been part fight, part passion. He’s rough, commanding, taking what he wants from his partner in an urgent, lust-fueled manner that’s utterly addictive. It’s one reason I’ve never allowed him inside me.

Especially now, with his dick studded with so many piercings, I fear he’d rip me to shreds with his enthusiasm.