Page 48 of Choosing Hope

I search between his eyes for any shred of understanding before bobbing my head gratefully and describing the scene I’ve been concocting.

“If we do this, it’s going to blow his mind, you know that don’t you?” he murmurs, once I’ve finished speaking.

My eyebrows clash together.

“Spencer won’t talk to me about his shame, but I sense his torment. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he speaks.”

The delicate skin around my eyes tingles to hear of Spencer’s anguish from Carlo’s perspective.

“This needs to be done in a way that’s playful, without excluding him. Right now, Spencer won’t benefit from a punishment. He needs our help.”

A lump of emotion burns in my throat. My anger with Spencer for keeping this club a secret dissipates a little. Just because I’m angry doesn’t mean I want him to be so unhappy.

“What’s the solution, Carlo?”

His chocolate-brown eyes fix me with an intensity I haven’t experienced recently. My heart flutters and I have to concentrate hard to stop myself from panting.

“Right now, I’m going to call Travis and see if Spencer’s at the club. If I stay in this house too long, I’m going to flip you over and fuck you raw.”

My mouth instantly goes as dry as toast. He tilts his chin as if disciplining me for wishing he would.

“It’s wrong when emotions are running so high.”

I glance down, needing to break our connection.

“Bella, you need to be a hundred percent certain that this is what you want before poking this bear, because there’s a chance you could lose everything.”

I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and have never been more certain. Spencer needs a sharp shock to turn his head, but I also understand Carlo’s perspective and respect his loyalty to his friend.

“Okay,” I whisper, trying to wriggle off his lap.

He holds me firmly, silently protesting about my moving away.

“Whatever happens. Anything physical between us has to be short term,” Carlo says. “You always seemed to consider our relationship as part of an erotic game.”

His face is so serious, his eyes black and stern.

“It wasn’t a game to us, Bella; it was our life.”

He moves his hand to cup my face, giving me no choice but to meet his unrelenting stare.

“I will always love you, but there’s been enough miscommunication between the three of us, and I’m not willing to jeopardize my friendship with either of you over this.”

His words elevate my emotions just enough to smile. I am unsure how he accomplishes it, but gradually, he’s forgiving me.

“I respect that,” I whisper. “Carlo, I never want to lose you. And I hope you can find another way to get through to him.”

He kisses me; just a gentle press of lips, nothing more. But the stillness of it, the familiarity, hits deeper than I expect.

Chapter Ten

Spencer

My mood is broody. I’m sitting in a dark corner of the bar at my sex club ‘Locked’. I’m meeting Kalie again. Though tonight I’m struggling with my decision.

I still haven’t found the opportunity to speak to Sophie. That’s a ridiculous reason for being so weak, though I am psyching myself up for our confrontation. Slowly.

Since arriving this evening, I’ve been trying to avoid people as best I can but this is the worst venue for me to remain anonymous. A lot of peoplehere know me.