Page 84 of Choosing Hope

“Really? You’re still sticking with that?” I roll my eyes, turning my body as much as I can, when sandwiched between two large men. “Okay, look, I need to know what’s going on in your mind.”

He rubs his fingers over his cut lip deep in thought.

“Oh, and incidentally, in the future, I’d also prefer to be consulted if you consider investing in an establishment like that again.”

He grins, tilting his head, and reminding me of the adorable young man who captured my heart.

“Did he tell you?” he asks, jerking his head at Carlo.

Our friend tenses beside me.

“No, Carlo didn’t tell me.” I pick up Carlo’s hand, squeezing it. “He’s too loyal to you to tell me. Carlo would never betray you. Not even to me, and you can’t ever doubt that.”

Spencer hangs his head in shame. Rather than continuing, I give him a few minutes to consider what he’s accusing his oldest friend of.

As the electric atmosphere mellows, I sweep my hair behind my ear.

“I know you love me, Spencer.”

He turns his full focus on me, alarm dancing in his eyes.

“I hope so,” he insists. “I love you, Lily, and Carlo more than anything.”

Examining the lines on his forehead and the tension in his face, I stop. Carlo squeezes my hand to give me the confidence to continue.

“What does Kalie give you that I don’t?”

Spencer’s eyes droop closed. “Absolutely nothing.”

I frown in disbelief. “You realize that makes no sense, don’t you?”

He nods.

“Are you bored with me? Or not interested in sex with me anymore?” I push him.

“Emphatically not,” he exclaims forcefully.

He studies me for a moment, perhaps trying to figure out what to add.

“Carlo will attest to the fact that I rarely touch these women.”

My head draws back on my shoulder in disbelief. I know that’s the case with some of his random hook ups, but even though he made the same claim the other day, I didn’t expect it with her.

“I’m aware it’s nonsensical. The best way I can explain it is that I like to control them. To have them desperate and begging for me. The endorphins the experience releases seem to help.” His eyes flick to Carlo. “When Carlo’s there, I just like watching him with them.”

“Help what?”

“To distract me from . . .

Carlo audibly puffs out a frustrated breath.

The car falls silent. I don’t even know what to say.

A glance out of the windscreen tells me we’ll be home in five minutes. We need to resolve this before we get out of the car, in here these guys can’t escape from each other. Or fight, come to that.

“Is this yearning for domination worth jeopardizing our marriage for?”

“No.”