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Chapter

Thirty-Two

MALICE

I moved through the house without really seeing my surroundings. Christian’s update had been positive, though that was expected. His work with the wards was vital to our remaining here undetected, and the reinforcements he was fortifying would ensure that continued to be the case. It was reassuring to know that he only had a couple more days of work ahead of him.

Maybe once he was finished, I would start breathing easy again.

Liar .

I scowled at the little voice in my mind. The one that knew the conflicted way I was feeling had nothing to do with wards. I’d been out of sorts since Hades’s revelations. Longer, if I was being honest, but who wanted to do that?

Merri’s importance to the state of the world wasn’t new information, but to know Hades considered us a crucial piece to this puzzle beyond simply breeding her was too much to take. He’d said we’d find our partner. That she was, like the other three before her, the key to stopping this with us at her side. I didn’t want to be some lovelorn fool like him. Love made you weak. I was not weak.

As if the universe was listening to my thoughts and wanted to prove me wrong, I came to a dead stop outside of my room, my eyes drawn to the delicious redhead standing on her tiptoes as she attempted to place something onto the shelf above my desk.

For one long heartbeat, I gave into the temptation to drink in the sight of her in my space. Noting how right she looked amongst my most prized possessions.

“What are you doing?” I snapped, pushing back the feelings I didn’t want to hold space for.

She let out a little squeak of surprise and flinched before spinning around to face me, her cheeks pink. “The door was open.”

“So you think you can just walk right in?”

“I thought you might like to have that back. It’s important to you.”

My gaze went to the poppet she’d returned to its rightful place. I was such a raging arse.

Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she fidgeted. She looked so innocent standing there in her pajamas, a damp spot blooming over the fabric beneath her braid. She must have just finished showering and getting ready for bed. The thought of her naked and dripping in suds took over my mind, and I grumbled in disgust. Not with the image, but with my weakness. Here I was, acting exactly like the thing I most despised.

“I found it in the snow. I was going to give it back sooner, but... well, the sky is on fire and you hate me.”

She sounded so miserable I had to intervene.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yes you do.”

“No, Merri. I don’t hate you. Not for lack of trying on my part.”

She tilted her head like an inquisitive little bird. “You wanted to hate me?”

“I don’t think it should come as any surprise that I didn’t want anything to do with you. But that wasn’t exactly up to me, and despite my best efforts, you wormed your way beneath my skin anyway.”

“This is a very strange conversation. If you’re trying to convince me that you like me, I’m not sure it’s working. Especially not after the way you’ve been avoiding me the last few days.”

How did I admit to her that I was avoiding her because I liked her? Because the way she made me feel was the most unsettling thing I’d experienced in my long existence? She barreled through my walls like they weren’t even there. No one should have been able to do that.

“I’m sorry I invaded your mind the way I did. I wish you understood that it wasn’t on purpose. I will never intentionally do something that might violate your privacy again.”

Fucking hell, I needed to fix this. She was taking the blame for something she couldn’t help. I had caused it by pushing her and by opening her up to mind work.

“I suppose it's not the worst of my secrets for you to have stumbled across.”

She blinked at me in surprise. “What?”

I moved closer, needing her to read the sincerity in my expression. Taking her by the hand, I admitted. “I might have, you know, overreacted.” It was harder than it should have been to force the words from my mouth. I wasn’t exactly an expert at apologies. In fact, I could hardly remember the last time I attempted one.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

She grinned. “Maybe just once more?”

“I’m sorry, hellcat.”

The way her entire body relaxed and her face softened told me that perhaps I was better at this than I’d previously thought.

“Thank you for bringing it back to me,” I murmured. “It does mean a great deal to me, even if the memory is painful.”

She stepped close enough that I could smell her body wash, then lifted onto her toes to brush a sweet kiss on my cheek. “You’re welcome.”

She started to drop back and step away, but I couldn’t bear the thought of distance between us. Grabbing her by the braid, I tugged, pulling her face back to mine. She stared at me in wonder, her eyes searching mine for some explanation for my completely uncharacteristic reaction. But there wasn’t any I had to give. I was acting purely on instinct at the moment.

“Just once more,” I whispered before my lips claimed hers and I gave myself what I really wanted.

Merri melted into me, her hands threading through my hair and her body pressed flush against mine. She felt fucking divine. Like she belonged there.

Just as quickly as it began, the kiss ended. I had to stop it, or I’d never stop. I’d lose myself in her.

It took a second for her eyes to flutter open and then another for clarity to take hold. Her fingers went to her swollen lips, and she took a hurried step back. “I... I have to go.”

She was at the door before I’d even come back to myself.

“Merri, wait,” I called.

Turning to face me, expression expectant, she waited as I’d asked. There was a stiffness to her, though. A guardedness I recognized as clearly as if I were looking into a mirror.

“Sessions resume as normal tomorrow.”

She relaxed at the return of my gruff formality, and with a curt nod, she left.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I did the only thing I could. I let out a heartfelt, “Fuck.”