Page 26

Chapter

Twenty-Four

CHAOS

T he sweet scent of my Merri’s hair pulled me out of the deepest slumber I’d had in ages. I sighed happily, reaching for her and wrapping one arm around her waist. Soft, warm skin under my fingers had me instinctively pulling her closer, needing her against me.

She shifted and turned around to face me, both of us lying on our sides in my bed, naked but not focused on sex. We were focused on each other.

“Morning,” I murmured, my voice raspy with sleep.

“Morning,” she whispered, her smile soft but genuine.

“Sleep well?”

“Mmm.” Her hum was part agreement, part yawn. With a little giggle, she added, “I don’t remember falling asleep.”

“I’m pretty sure we exhausted each other until neither of us could keep our eyes open.”

Her big blue eyes flicked from mine to my mouth, then back. “It was worth it. Even if I’ll be tired today.”

I ran my hand down her torso, taking hold of her hip and tugging her closer. “We could just stay in bed.”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my moody taskmaster?”

My cock gave a happy twitch. “I’m more than happy to give you orders right here.”

Her eyes flared at the hit of lust I’m sure she just picked up on. She pressed a palm to my chest. “I’m sure you would.”

“I’ve never woken up with someone in my arms before,” I said, my voice low.

The truth spilling so easily from my lips surprised me.

“What?” She propped her head up with one hand, gaze intent on me as though I’d just unearthed something shocking.

Shaking my head, I reached out and tucked a lock of flame-red hair behind her ear. “It’s true. No one has ever stayed long enough to see morning.”

“Really? Not even your first love?”

“I’ve never been in love.”

This confession fell from me as easily as the first. It would have been worrisome, except I knew with absolute certainty I could trust her.

“Don’t lie to me,” she teased. “How could a man like you have never been in love?”

“It’s the truth.”

“But Sin said?—”

She stopped herself and looked away from me. Reaching out, I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger and forced her to return her attention to me.

“Sin said what?”

“That you and he weren’t always horsemen. That means you must’ve had a human life before all... this.”

“I did.”

“So then I don’t understand.”

“What’s so hard to understand?”

“If you were human before, how could you not have a first love? Even six-year-olds fall in love. It’s like a rite of passage.”

She was genuinely taken aback, and it could not have been more adorable.

“I think you’re forgetting that the world I grew up in was not like yours.”

“Well, duh, you’re like a million years old.”

“Not quite a million.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, but you’re old. You look like you could’ve fought in the Trojan War.”

I smirked, raising one brow.

“No!” Her shock had me near laughter.

“It’s their own fault for stealing Helen. They had it coming.”

“You really lived that long ago?”

“Yes, Red. I lived that long ago. I was a warrior nearly from birth. I grew up with Spartan blood running through my veins and planned to die in battle. War had other plans.”

“Okay, fine, but it’s not like love was invented in my century. I’ve read the Greek myths. Those assholes were falling in love left and right. And even Spartan warriors had to get married and make babies. Some of those had to be for love.”

“True, but I wasn’t one of them.”

She stared at me in a mix of something like sadness and awe.

“Why do you look so sad?” I asked, unable to fathom why this creature would care if I ever loved another.

“Because everyone should know love at least once in their life. Even though it can be the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced.”

“Sounds like I didn’t miss out on much, then.”

She cupped my cheek and brushed her thumb gently over my bottom lip. “No, you misunderstand. Just because it’s painful doesn’t mean it’s not also the most wonderful.”

“You’ve been in love,” I stated.

“Yes. Once.”

My gut twisted with jealousy. The bastard she’d loved hadn’t known how lucky he was. Although he was also very dead, so I supposed he wasn’t as fortunate as me.

“How did you know you were in love and not simply lust?”

She traced a fingertip over the ridge of my shoulder, then back to my collarbone as she thought. “Lust is all surface level. It’s physical, certainly, but it doesn’t go past that ache in your core or the anticipation in your chest. Love is... love is all-consuming. But it goes deeper than that. It’s the warmth in your heart when you see or think about the person you love. It’s that sense of release when you’re safe in their arms. It’s knowing you’d do anything to make them feel that same safety and security.” Her voice wobbled a little, and she had to clear her throat. “It’s realizing that you’re no longer the axis that your life revolves around. There’s another person in the world whose needs matter more to you than your own.”

“Motherfucker,” I whispered.

She nodded sagely. “And it’s even more wonderful when they feel the same about you.”

Why did her saying that make me wish I could experience it?

I needed to change the topic before I did something I couldn’t take back. So, I grabbed her by the nape and kissed her breathless.

“Guess we’re done with the getting-to-know-you stage of the morning,” she teased against my lips when I finally let her up for air.

“I’d like to get to know you even better, Red. Thoroughly and for a very, very long time.”

She giggled as I buried my face in her neck and bit down hard enough to leave my mark. Then I began kissing my way down her body. The way she moved under me as I rolled her on her back caused her hip to brush my already hard cock, sending even stronger waves of arousal through me. Lust. This was lust. That was all. Even if some of the things she explained about love hit a little too close to home.

Merri was mine for the moment, not forever.

But what was the harm in pretending?

“Spread your legs for me, Merri. Let me in.”

She arched her back and whimpered as my mouth found her nipple, and I loved her in the only way I knew how. With my body.

Thighs parted, she waited for me, giving me access to her without reservation. I took my throbbing length in my hand so I could line myself up at her entrance. As I dragged the tip of my cock through her slick folds, she moaned and closed her eyes.

“Eyes on mine, Red. I want to see everything I do to you.”

She did as she was told, and as soon as our gazes locked, I slid inside her hot, slick cunt.

Heaven.

That’s the only way to describe being inside Merri. I never wanted to leave. “Gods, Merri,” I grunted.

She gasped, a panicked look flashing across her face.

I woke with a start, sweaty and alone in my bed, my cock at full attention and desperate for relief.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

It had all felt so real. So damn perfect. The thought of anything other than Merri herself helping me find release was unappealing.

With a groan, I rolled over, instinctively grabbing the pillow that I would have sworn she’d just been resting her head on. Instead of smelling her, all I scented was detergent and my own shampoo.

Disappointment hit like a wave. I could have kicked myself for being so upset by something as trivial as a dream, but the truth was, I’d never have a chance at something so intimate with her. And fuck me, I think I actually wanted it.

Why else would I dream about just that?