Page 153 of Caution to the Wind

I’d never felt so wholly possessed in my lifetime, so seen and desired.

It was everything I’d ever wanted.

So, I didn’t even care about the sneaking around.

It made sense to keep our tryst from Cleo. She had so much going on, and it wasn’t like her dad and I were…dating.

We were just enjoying an extended reunion now that we were friends again. Exploring the lust years of yearning had turned into needle-point sharpness and Axe-Man’s new, gluttonous appreciation for me in his bed.

If it had been more…

If I’d believed he ever could have falleninlove with me, maybe I would have told her. Maybe I would have fantasized about it.

But already, this new reality felt too good to be true, more than I’d ever really hoped for. It felt like bad luck to be greedy for more when, for eight years, I’d believed I’d never have anything at all.

Besides, even though Axe-Man had said he’d forgiven me, even so far as to say there was nothing to forgive, I knew in my bones I’d never be worthy of his love that way. Both because I’d hurt him so badly before, and because he’d loved before, a woman much better than me, and I knew I could never replace her.

So, I was happy with him, with her, with the impending takedown of the Seven Song after years of Kasper hiding in plain sight before me.

And Jiang, frenemy that he was, seemed to sense that.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” he murmured, eyeing me sidelong.

“Hmm?”

“You seem so settled in your skin. Where is the bitter knife of Mei Zhen pressed to my throat?”

I laughed. “I was never that combative, was I?”

He raised a brow in answer.

“Okay, I was. I still am, only now, I’m in a place where I want to believe the best in the people I’ve chosen to care about.”

“Axe-Man and your Cleo.”

“Yes, and The Fallen MC as a group. They’re good people. They…they’re a family. A criminal one, yeah, but I like their values. They’d burn down the world for each other.”

“Ah, and you’d burn down the world for your Axelsens.”

“Yes, and maybe for you. If you’d ask,” I said honestly, twisting to face him, the wind moving the hair off my face so I could see him clearly. He was so beautiful, long and lean and cut into hard angles like the ridges of a sword. “Would you ask me, though,dai lo?”

Jiang considered me before flipping over to lean his back and elbows on the bridge railing. “Maybe.”

“And if I asked for the same?”

He pursed his lips slightly, looking into the forest as if it held answers. The rushing of the river helped conceal our words, the packs of tourists drifting over the swaying bridge obscured our purpose, but I could see him very clearly in that moment. Alone even in his own triad, kept separate by something that shouldn’t have ostracized him. I ached a little for him, as I always did, and hoped fervently that he’d make the right choice today.

“I told Kasper you were loyal,” he said eventually. “He didn’t seem to believe me, but he said a ring would make him feel more comfortable.”

I watched, stricken, as he fished into his pocket for a black velvet jewelry box and flipped it out to reveal a huge emerald-cut diamond ring.

Unbidden, I laughed. “Jesus, Jiang, put that away before you blind someone.”

Or worse, Axe-Man saw it from his hiding spot on the other end of the bridge and came storming over. A little part of me thrilled to see a potential display of jealousy, but I knew it couldn’t happen or it would blow up our whole plan.

Jiang frowned at me but pocketed the ring. “Is the idea of marrying me so unpalatable?” he asked stiffly.

“Yes,” I said, but my mouth softened. “You’re gay, and for better or worse, I’ve been in love with Axe-Man my whole life. We are not a good match, and you know it.”