Page 119 of Caution to the Wind

The idea of her sittin’ at my family table again did funny things to my chest, simultaneously openin’ new wounds and soothin’ old ones that’d never healed right.

“And what are you going to do about the triad?” she said finally, turnin’ to a topic she was more comfortable with, which said a lot about who Mei was as a person.

A fighter ready to take on the world even when she was hurtin’. It was stupid as much as it was admirable as hell.

I shot her a look over my shoulder. “You let me and my brothers worry about that.”

“Just because I’m hurt doesn’t mean I’m some damsel in distress, Axe-Man. I’m not going to faint if you tell me what you have planned for them.”

I laughed, surprised by the warmth that suffused my chest. It’d been a minute since I’d had reason to laugh like that.

“I’m not worried you’ll fuckin’ faint. I’m worried you’ll get on your stupid excuse for a bike and hunt them down yourself. Never thought you were a damsel, Mei Zhen. You’ve always been a dragon.”

Wasn’t sure who was more surprised by the words, Mei or me. It brought our shared history rushin’ back into the room, the water line risin’ ’til it threatened to drown us both in the past. My head reeled with the memories, the good ones, the dinners with Cleo, Lin, and Rocky, the late-night sketch sessions, and the school pickups. That last night but before Turner Farm, with Mei in that red dress, smellin’ like cherry blossoms and springtime freshness, held in my arms in a dimly lit parkin’ lot for her only dance at prom. The feel of her lips on mine, so startlin’ and so wrong, I’d never let myself think what it would really be like to kiss her back.

And then last night, when I hadn’t kissed her at all, but I’d done more. Suckin’ her red-tipped breasts into my mouth, palmin’ that high, tight ass, drivin’ into the snug heat of that wet pussy. How powerful I’d felt fuckin’ a woman with so much of her own wildness, her own power. How she’d matched my ferocity with her own and urged me to give her more.

“Shouldn’t’a touched you,” I was sayin’ before I realized it.

The congee was done, thick and glossy. I ladled it into a bowl and got some chopped scallions and soy sauce, then arranged them on the island beside Mei so she could dress it how she liked.

I was turnin’ away when she touched my arm lightly. Her face was more open than I’d ever seen it, eyes wide, dark pools reflectin’ myself back at me, lips parted on soft breath.

“Please, don’t be.”

“You and I both know it was wrong.”

“No, we don’t.” That tone was so familiar, stubborn as a goat, fiercely convinced of her own opinion. It was and always had been oddly charmin’. “I know it won’t happen again. I get you probably regret it, but can we please both agree not to talk about it? I don’t think I can stand raking it over the coals.”

“’Cause I hurt you?” I asked, ashamed I hadn’t really thought about it. I’d assumed all her hurts came from the triad, not my own hands, but I was just as capable of inflictin’ pain, and I’d been close to mad with a combination of lust and years of frustration reachin’ a boilin’ point.

“No,” she said again, this time rollin’ her eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. But it would hurt me if you made what happened into a bad thing. It just…was. I know our relationship is complicated, but having you fuck me like that was the simplest form of pleasure I’ve had in a long time. So don’t ruin the memory for me, yeah?”

Her smile was twisted like hot metal, not right on her face, but her words seemed sincere enough. I’d known, of course, that she’d had a crush on me back in the day, but that was eight years ago. There’d probably been enough men since then to diminish that crush to childish fancy. It should’ve been a relief to know she was sexually mature enough to write off what happened as an act of madness, but it left me feelin’ on edge.

“Right, well, it won’t happen again. While you’re under my roof, you’re safe, yeah? Even from my grumpy ass,” I tried to joke, but it fell flat.

Mei only accepted her bowl of congee while I busied myself makin’ a quick protein shake.

“I’m headin’ up for a shower, but I’ll take you back up before I leave so you can rest in my room.”

“I can stay down here,” she countered immediately.

“No. Cleo and Lin’ll be here, and you need to sleep. The guest room is filled with my art shit, but some of the brothers will be over to clear it out for you. ’Til then, you’re in my bed restin’ even if I have to tie you down to the bed posts.”

I caught her fierce shiver from my peripheral vision and tried to tamp down the correspondin’ heat in my gut. It was like now that I’d let anger rip away the veil of respectability between us, I couldn’t hide from the fact that Mei wasn’t seventeen anymore.

She was twenty-five years old, still sixteen years my junior, but it was hard to hold the same prejudices I’d used to have around age gaps when there were so many healthy examples in the club. Zeus and Loulou were nineteen years apart in age, but they’d clearly been made for each other. Even with two newborns, a preteen foster kid, and a club to look after, they acted like newlyweds.

Lila and Nova had twelve years between them, and I bore witness every fuckin’ day to the chemistry between those two. Lovin’ Li had changed Nova, taken him from somethin’ like a caricature to the truest, best version of the man I’d met on my first visit to Entrance when he was just a punk-ass graffiti artist.

King and Cressida were the heart and soul of the club in a lotta ways, always the listenin’ ears, the thoughtful friend, and I figured it was ’cause of the bounty of peace their love produced. So much, there was an excess for the rest of us to benefit from.

Even Priest and Bea, night and day, the couple no one hardly saw comin’ made a strange and beautiful kinda sense, like the oddly lovely atmosphere of a graveyard at dawn.

Hell, we were gearin’ up to celebrate Harleigh Rose and Lion Danner’s weddin’ next month, and the whole fuckin’ town seemed excited about the union between the biker princess and the town’s ex-cop, good guy.

If anyone tried to tell me not one of those couples should exist ’cause of somethin’ so fuckin’ stupid as age, I’d’ve knocked them back a step so they had better perspective to reconsider.