Page 109 of Caution to the Wind

I pulled over on one of the back roads leadin’ down the mountain to Lake Mead, the entire stretch of water shimmerin’ like hammered metal below me, ringed by the dark triangles of evergreens. My hand was tremblin’ when I dug into my pocket and retrieved my stolen goods.

The lace was still wet, fragrant with the salt-sweet musk of her pussy. I was a dirty old man, but I lifted them to my face and took a deep drag of the scent, scenes from our fuck flashin’ behind my eyes ’til suddenly I was hard as steel again.

“Fuck.” I sighed, shovin’ the underwear deep into my pocket again, resolvin’ to toss them when I got home. Even though a part of me knew I wouldn’t.

The crumpled piece of paper was hard to discern at first even though the sky was clear, the moon a round silver coin catchin’ the light of the sun and beamin’ it down brightly on the Earth. I sucked in a breath when I realized it was a picture of me stylized almost like a Dark Age comic book, heavily shadowed with deep dimensions. My hair and beard were both shorter than I wore them now, but otherwise, it was a clear representation of me. In the illustration, I was shirtless, muscles bulgin’, jaw clenched, and eyes closed with my head thrown back like I was in ecstasy. Which made sense, given a figure who was distinctly Mei-shaped even from the back, was ridin’ my cock.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” I muttered, adjustin’ myself in my jeans. Straddlin’ a bike with a hard-on was damn uncomfortable.

Some of the guilt eatin’ at me subsided seein’ evidence of Mei’s desire for me. She’d reacted with genuine carnality back at the motel, but I’d still been rough with her, like I’d never been with a girlfriend and only a little with biker groupies. It was a part of me, that dominatin’, rough, and somewhat cruel side of my sexuality, that made me feel wrong. I’d tried so hard most of my life to be a good man, even if I’d never been a lawful one, and those dark needs always threatened to eradicate that.

But with Mei, she’d seemed almost…turned on by my savagery. More, she’d matched it. I could still feel the throb of her teeth marks over my left pec and the sting of her scratch marks over my shoulders. It was unbelievably fuckin’ hot to let myself go like that.

Even though it shouldn’t have happened withher.

And it wouldn’t. Not again.

Even if my dick was tellin’ me somethin’ different.

The problem with it was that she was just different enough from before to be intriguin’ to me. I found myself wonderin’ if she still loved longan fruit, if she ate standin’ up like she couldn’t bear to sit still unless she was drawin’ somethin’. If she still smelled like cherry blossoms, a question I’d answered hours ago in the affirmative. If she laughed more and fought less. What she did for work now? If she wasn’t a doctor liked she’d always imagined, was it somethin’ more physical, which I’d always thought would suit her—a physio, a park ranger, even an MMA fighter?

The questions plagued me like an overly catchy tune. I woke up to the same music every day and went to sleep with it still stuck in my goddamn brain.

What I’d whispered to Mei before I came was true. She was a danger to me and mine. ’Cause even though she’d hurt me, abandoned me, I hadn’t managed to weed out the last of those roots dug deep in my soul that told me to care about her. As a result, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about her. I couldn’t stop hatin’ her, but I was intrigued more than was healthy.

“Fuck,” I muttered again, shovin’ my hand through my tangled hair ’cause I hadn’t bothered to put on my bucket when I’d taken off like a bat outta hell from Purgatory.

The cold wind slappin’ at my face helped to calm me some. Enough that I realized I left her with a busted open door in a sketchy as fuck motel.

I warred with myself for long minutes. The part of me that didn’t want to see her ever again, who tried to convince himself he didn’t care about her well-bein’, with the part of me that’d never stopped wonderin’ about her, worryin’ about her. After what’d happened to Cleo, I couldn’t rest without at least checkin’ on Mei again.

A drive-by would be good enough.

If I didn’t feel good about it, Lion and Nova were with Cleo, so I could spend the next few hours ’til dawn freakin’ out over my lack of self-control in the shadows beside Purgatory Motel as well as I could anywhere else.

I had no fuckin’ clue what Mei was doin’ hangin’ around with Jiang, but it couldn’t be good. Fuck, she’d always been stubborn and one-track-minded, but could she really still be pursuin’ the cause of Kate’s death? Even after she’d killed Kang Li, who’d admitted to bein’ one of her murderers?

The parkin’ lot was quiet when I pulled up on the side street, but that wasn’t exactly surprisin’ at three in the mornin’. Still, somethin’ like a sixth sense told me to get off my bike and check out Mei’s door, make sure it was secure enough to last the night before I could send one of the prospects over to fix the latch for her.

When I walked past the reception, the thin pink blinds twitched, a face disappearin’ behind the fabric. A little shiver of forebodin’ scuttled down my back.

I picked up my pace as I climbed the steps quietly, stalkin’ down the open-air hallway to the last unit, #7. The door was mostly closed, but it wasn’t sittin’ well in the frame. To test it, I pushed on the painted wood lightly.

It swung open with a soft gasp.

I stepped away from the doorframe instantly to avoid anyone waitin’ inside. My gun was in one hand, the hatchet in my other before I could even process the situation.

“Mei?” I called out.

Only the whistle of wind flowin’ into the room answered me.

Fuck.

I crouched and leaned forward slightly to look around the frame. No one was in sight inside, but someone could’ve been hidin’ in the bathroom. Even though I had a feelin’ it was empty, I stepped into the room on careful feet, clearin’ it before headin’ to the bathroom. I slammed the door open with one extended arm while I waited around the corner, but no one emerged.

Satisfied I was alone, I went back to the beds, noticin’ the rumbled sheets on the one closest to the bathroom. There was blood splatter on the pillow. Enough of it to mean someone had hurt Mei considerably.

My heart was beatin’ in my stomach, tossin’ up my long-ago dinner ’til I thought I’d be fuckin’ sick.