Page 97 of Castor

It rang four times. My heart fucking stilled in my chest as his voice came through the line.

“Yeah?”

“Is that really how you answer the phone?”

There was a pause. When he spoke again, his voice shook. “Is that you, little dragon?”

Tears welled in my eyes at the stupid nickname. God, I had missed it. “Yeah. It’s me.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Castor said with a sharp exhale. “I’ve been so worried about you. Fuck. Tell me how you are. Tell me anything. Just don’t stop talking.”

“I’m doing all right, I guess.” Physically anyway. I told him about Sora infusing his magic into the treatment. The brothers couldn’t heal wounds made with a celestial blade, but other magical beings didn’t have that problem. If strong enough, a magic wielder could heal any wound.

“Like how Clara healed Gray when his throat was slit,” he said. “Are you still at the palace?”

“Yeah. It’s weird being back in my old room.”

“Did you have one of those car beds? And posters of action heroes plastered all over your walls? I bet you had some nudie magazines too, huh?”

“Still a dork, I see.”

“Hey, it was an honest question. I have quite an extensive collection of porn mags, though Bellamy’s stolen most of them, the dickwad. I used to have a thing for guys with huge porn-stashes. You know, those thick bushy mustaches? Oh, and a chest full of hair. Totally got my motor racing.”

I snorted. It was the first time I’d laughed in a week. “I miss you.”

I hadn’t meant to say the words. They had been automatic.

“I miss you too.” His voice was softer. A little pained. “You’re not coming home. Are you?”

I couldn’t answer.

Castor breathed into the phone before saying, “I saw him that day after the battle. Warrin. He’s handsome.”

“He’s not you.” My vision blurred, and I blinked the tears away. “I wish things were different.”

“Say the word, and I’ll move heaven and earth to find you. It will be just like that story, remember? The rogue who steals you away from the palace.”

“Star-crossed lovers.”

“Fuck that.” Castor’s voice broke a bit. “I hate sad endings. Let’s make our own path. A happier one. One where the stars never die and I get to wake up next to you each morning. I want us to fuck our way into eternity. I want to love you every damn day, Kyo. Just you.”

“Stop. Please.”

“No.” Castor’s voice cracked again. And fuck if I didn’t feel it echoing in my chest. “Remember that night when we sat under the stars at Baxter’s villa? You said our belief in something gives it power. Well, I believe inus. So don’t tell me this is the end.”

“Castor. I can’t refuse this marriage. Doing so would end any chance of an alliance we have with the ice kingdom. And with my brother joining the war against Asa, we can’t afford to fight two enemies right now. It’s too late.”

He emitted a small, strangled sound. “Goddammit, I’m in love with you.”

I leaned against the railing and hung my head, forcing my lungs to work. Each breath came out labored. “I’m in love with you too.”

“But it’s not enough, is it?”

“No. But I wish it were.”

“Me too.”

Neither of us spoke for several minutes, or maybe it was hours that passed by as we sat suspended in that aching silence. How did you say goodbye to the person who owned you, body and soul? Someone you never meant to fall in love with, but you did so anyway because, like the certainty of the sun rising each morning, our love was inevitable.