Page 219 of Burn Bright

50

BEN COBALT

New York—I was never supposed to be here in the first place. I never thought I’d be living here this far into November. None of this has been part of my ultimate plan. I thought I’d even be moved out of my brothers’ apartment in Hell’s Kitchen forever ago.

Sure, I don’t really have anywhere else to live since the Honors House hasn’t accepted Harriet yet. I haven’t completed the Kappa bet. But the past couple weeks, I haven’t been clamoring to ditch my brothers for the frat house.

Last week, I even went to my niece’s first birthday party in Philly. Harriet had a research symposium she needed to attend, so she couldn’t go. I didn’t want her to miss it, and Maeve’s birthday isn’t the sole family gathering of the year. As the holidays approach, we’re all going to come together so much more.

Plus, family vacations are around the corner. The yacht will come out. The fancy villas in the Med. She’s barely even seen a portion of the wealth. Mostly, I’m excited to be here as Harriet is integrated into my universe.

I could tell Harriet wished she could’ve gone to the birthday party. Almost everyone in my extended family had been there. Hales. Meadows. Cobalts. I saw Baby Maeve dig her little fingers in a soft-pink cake and smile gleefully up at Jane and Thatcher. No disasters, no damage, no hurt or harm.

It’s made me wonder if maybe things are changing. Things are better now. The desperate need to leave is being submerged beneath the powerful desire to stay.

It’s November 22nd.

Close to midnight on a Friday.

And I can say I’m still here for the upcoming Classical Mythology presentation. But really, it’s so much more than that. I’m dragging out the plan because of her. Every bone in my body wants to stay and just be happy with this girl I fucking adore.

I know if I leave New York, everything with me and Harriet ends. But if I stay…

Theiffeels like anI am.

I am staying.

“You really want to do this?” Harriet questions for the third time. We’re in my brothers’ apartment. I have her up on the marble kitchen counter, my hands on her thighs while her knees are spread around me. Her wet blonde hair has slowly begun air-drying, but strands still soak against her baggy Green Day tee. She’s not wearing a bra, and I’ve debated slipping my hand up her shirt about a thousand-and-one sweltering times.

“What was the question?” I ask with a playful smile.

She tears a red Twizzler with her teeth, seeing me check her out. “You are such a dude.”

“I am only human.”

“Hate to break it to you, Cobalt boy, but you’re far from mortal. And what I’ve gathered from all our course material, gods tend to fuck more than humans.”

I laugh. “That explains Eliot then.” I run casual fingers through my own damp hair. We just took a steaming hot shower together. I shut off the water at one point to not waste a lot. I’d hooked a tie on the doorknob, so my brothers knew not to barge the fuck in there. We have an agreed upon system in place, and I don’t even care if they know I’m hooking up in the bathroom.

They don’t care that I am.

It feels like college. Like I’m in a dorm with the people I love most. I’m falling further in love with the idea of planting roots with my brothers. Of keeping both feet on the floor, both feet beside them. It scares me, but that fear isn’t a panic crawling to the surface of my skin.

It’s somewhere unreachable. Faded.

Hopefully gone.

I smile more at her. Thinking about us in the shower.

Being inside Harriet hasn’t wrecked me. It’s been the most cathartic, euphoric experience of my life. I’ve never been this close to someone else. Never loved them to this extreme depth, and I’ve given so many pieces of myself to her—vulnerable pieces that I’ve never shown anyone.

I think she’s given just as many back.

“You really want to do this?” Harriet asks for the fourth time now. She swallows the bite of Twizzler and awaits my response.

“I’m sure,” I nod. “Tonight is the best night. Kappa has been throwing a football party all day. It’s probably still going on, and Leif wanted me to show up. So I’ll go to the frat house and tell him I’m dropping out of the pledge class.”

I’m not going through initiation. I don’t want to be an official member of the frat. Especially now that I don’t plan on completing their bet. Even if Harriet is accepted in the Honors House, I’m not living at Kappa Phi Delta.