Page 181 of Burn Bright

BEN COBALT

It’s always been easy to explain my relationship to Winona Meadows to other people.

She is my cousin.

She was my best friend.

But how do I explain the girl in front of me?

Vada Lauren Abbey is not blood related to me, but she’s related to the Halesandthe Meadows. We grew up together. Almosteveryfamily function—she was there. But she’s been more my little sister’s friend than she’s ever been mine. And I didn’t start the night thinking I’d see her here. I didn’t start themonththinking I’d cross paths with Vada, since she’s supposed to be at a boarding school in Upstate New York.

So when I found her standing next to Xander and Easton, I thought I was seeing a mirage. A figment of my imagination. Because there was no way on this planet Earth that Vada came to a Halloween party filled with college students without Winona by her side.

The fact that she was tagging along withEastonhad me seeing fucking red. Did he invite her here? To a college party? Is he out of his mind?

I didn’t start shit with him and cause a scene. The temptation was real, but I’mHarriet’splus-one. It’ll destroy me if I’m the reason she gets rejected.

So I pulled Vada away. Found a quiet corner where we could talk. We currently stand between a bookshelf and a window, the thick velvet drapes drawn shut.

“You shouldn’t be here right now.” My voice is a low, angry whisper. “You’reseventeen.”

She glowers. “What are you my dad now, Ben?”

“No, I’m your friend.”

“Wow,wow.” Her aquamarine eyes widen like I’ve been huffing glue. “Some friend you are. You’re never even around. You don’t call. You don’t check-in. I don’t know what we are, but we’re notfriends.” Hurt pinches her face. Loose strands from her braid touch her lashes, annoying her enough that she starts redoing her entire hair. Taking out the dark sandy pieces. Starting the braid over.

She has road rash on her forearms. From falling off a dirt bike. She’s a BMX racer, but she’s been trying out motocross, apparently.

For months. I had no clue.

If I were her friend, maybe I would’ve. So yeah, she’s right.

I skate a hand through my hair, my chest rising and falling. It shouldn’t be this painful, but I’m trying not to leave shattered pieces behind. I want everyone happy and whole and this…this is so far from that.

“Does your dad know you’re here?” I question.

She snaps the hair-tie at the end of her braid. “Doesyourdad know you don’t have a bodyguard on you right now?”

I hate that it’s obvious to her Novak isn’t with me. That there’s not a lingering presence ten feet from my body. It was easy telling Novak that I had no plans for Halloween. The lie should be hard on me, but it’s not when Novak betrayed me first.

Since I’m taller than Vada, I keep having to glance down. I hate it. She’s wearing some sort of droopy, thin-strapped top with a pushup bra, and it’s impossible to avoid glancing at her cleavage. I keep hearing Eliot’s voice in my head. I’d been a teenager when I overheard him talking to Tom. “You think Ben and Vada will ever hook up?” Eliot asked conversationally because forbidden gates for him are challenges meant to be unlocked and traversed through. “They’re close in age, no blood relation.”

I didn’t even hear Tom’s response. I walked away quickly, my face on fire. Before that day, I had never thought about Vadain that way. But after that…it sits in the forefront. That maybeotherpeople in the family have been thinking it. Maybe she has.

I’ve never asked.

I don’t want to know.

Since she answered my question with a question, I decide to keep the trend going. “Did Easton or Xander invite you here?”

She looks pissed.

Vada isn’t usually hotheaded. Winona is the firecracker. But Vada—she’s a ball-busting, loyal friend who will take the heat but never start it. Our family says Winona is the one who leads, Vada follows, and from my perspective, that is true.

It’s also been true that Winona has always followed me, and I stopped letting her. Honestly, I didn’t consider what that meant for Vada. How she’d be affected, but I should’ve. It’s just another domino I’ve struck down. Another person I’ve hurt.

I try a new question. “Are you Easton’s date?”