Page 6

Chapter Six

Twelve and a Half Years Ago—March

Logan trekked across his college campus looking for AJ. He should be studying for the quiz he had in an hour, but he needed to talk to her about the email the dean sent out to the entire school. They were looking for the culprit who caused extensive damage to the school fountain three days ago. He and AJ didn’t do it, but they knew who had. The school policy about keeping rule-breakers’ secrets was severe. If they didn’t tell and it came out they knew, they could be kicked out. The email gave them until Friday afternoon to come forward with information. Three days.

He needed to find her.

Pushing open the glass door, he entered the student center. Maybe she’d stopped by for a snack after class. He hoped she had cooled off enough since their latest fight to talk to him. They were fighting so much anymore. He chalked it up to the stress of the semester, but he had a sneaky suspicion it was deeper than that and rooted in the fact they were living less than holy lives.

Of course, bringing up the idea of ratting on Eric would probably spark another fight since the reason they knew what Eric did was because he’d caught them getting frisky in the dugout. But Eric was going to want them to keep his secret as much as Logan wanted Eric to keep theirs. What was he supposed to do?

He popped his head around the corner and looked in the student lounge for AJ, but she wasn’t there. The first place he’d tried was her dorm room. He burst through a pair of double doors and strode toward her favorite tree. It was a nice day; maybe she was studying outside.

As he fought to keep his stride cool and steady, he debated what to do. Turn Eric in so they didn’t get expelled, but risk Eric ratting on them and get expelled anyway. He kicked a rock across the ground.

They’d chosen to come to this small private Christian college because they both wanted to grow in their faith while learning from a biblical worldview. What they hadn’t accounted for was being expected to live by certain standards, standards they’d been failing to live up to for about a year now. Their entire freshman year had been spent creatively breaking the rules. They’d tried to stop having sex, but it seemed impossible.

He should just marry her, but he couldn’t figure out how to make that work yet. They needed to make more money than their little campus jobs provided before they could afford one of the apartments. He’d crunched the numbers. The dorms were cheaper. And as soon as they got married, they’d have to get their own insurance because they probably couldn’t stay under their parents’ any longer. Why did growing up have to be so complicated?

Then there was the matter of AJ’s dad. The man hated Logan, at least he was pretty sure. And Logan couldn’t blame him. If he ever had a daughter …

Logan slowed and let out a deep breath. What if AJ got pregnant? He shook his head. They were being stupid on so many levels.

Where was she? They had to talk about all this. Not just the Eric situation, but also what to do about getting married. They needed to have that conversation. Maybe it was time.

Only one more place he could think of to look for her. The library. Perhaps she was studying there or had picked up an extra shift. He climbed the steps and entered the large building.

One of the other students working at the circulation counter caught his eye and pointed upstairs. Logan nodded his thanks and bounded up the stairs. He found her hunched over her books at a table at the end of the library. She didn’t look up, so he slipped between the bookshelves and skirted around her and came up behind.

He slid his hands over her eyes. She giggled and gripped his hands, tugging them down around her until he was hugging her. He kissed her cheek.

“Hey, beautiful.”

She giggled again, but her entire body was rigid, gripped with tension despite the soft chuckle and affection.

He took the chair next to her. “Are you okay?”

She plucked a piece of paper from under her books. “Look what I found.” She’d completely ignored his question. The paper was an advertisement for a sale on motorcycles. “Isn’t this the one you wanted?”

“It is. But it’s too much money.” He was saving first for a ring, second for a motorcycle.

“You’re getting there.”

He shrugged. He’d wanted that motorcycle since he was a kid, but at this point, he wasn’t sure it would ever happen.

Logan took her hand. “Did you see the email from the dean? They want anyone who knows something about the Kool-Aid in the fountain to come forward.”

“I’m not turning Eric in. If we turn him in, he’ll—”

“We could always give an anonymous tip.” Logan may have been humiliated when Eric jumped into the dugout while running from security and caught Logan with his pants down, literally, but Logan had seen Eric gripping the grocery bag full of empty Kool-Aid packets. They had a responsibility to pass on the information.

AJ’s hand rested in his, but her touch lacked its normal intimacy.

The weight of their actions suffocated him despite trying to ignore it for the last year. But they would get married; it was just a matter of time.

“We can’t. Eric will know it was us. We can’t.” She jerked her hand away.

“AJ, they find out we knew but didn’t report him, we’ll get in just as much trouble as Eric.”

“We’ll get in more trouble if they find out what we’ve been doing. We’ve broken more rules than … ya know.” She kept her voice low, but it was tight.

“What are we supposed to do?” He drew closer to her with his arm across the back of her chair and rested his other hand on her thigh.

She closed her eyes, jaw tighter than the knots in his stomach. Moisture snuck between her eyelids.

“What are you thinking?”

She shook her head. That loosed the tears, and they poured onto her cheeks.

“I can’t do this.” She pushed his hand off her thigh and slammed her books shut. “Tell if you have to, but leave me out of it.” She shoved her books into her backpack and stood.

“AJ, we can figure this out.”

She looked him square in the eyes. “No, we can’t. It’s over, Logan. I love you, but I just … I can’t keep arguing and sneaking around.” Her entire body shook, but she was going to stand by her words.

He couldn’t say anything. He needed to fight for her, but he didn’t know how.

Flinging her bag over her shoulder, she turned her back to him.

“AJ …”

She walked away.

“AJ, I love you.”

She paused her retreat. “I know. Goodbye, Logan.”

His heart walked away, leaving him bleeding, completely gutted, at the study table. She was his one and only. He could never love another. Would never.