Page 47

Chapter Forty-Seven

AJ held tight to Logan as Megan drove the boat back. She was alive and safe. Her brain couldn’t quite process that. She had almost died. She’d fought so hard, but it had gotten too difficult to get to the surface again, and she’d run out of air.

Thank You, Lord, for getting Logan there in time. Any later and …

The thought of seeing Jesus face-to-face and holding Bree again had made the idea of death not so bad. She wasn’t scared of dying. But she was a little scared of what losing her would do to Logan.

She squeezed him a little harder. God was good and knew what Logan needed. And if it had been her time, she trusted Jesus would have taken care of her husband.

Megan pulled up to the dock where the moon illuminated Will and Zara standing there, holding one another.

AJ lifted a hand and waved.

Zara’s face lit up.

Once the boat was moored, Logan stood and offered his hands to AJ. She was too weak to stand on her own, so she let him lift her to her feet. He helped her out of the boat and onto the pier.

She fell into Zara’s arms. Her friend held her tight. “I was so scared.”

“You’re telling me. I was tied up under a bridge in the water.”

Zara held her back and looked in her face. “For real then, huh?”

AJ nodded. “What happened here?”

Zara said, “Your husband outsmarted the bad guy.”

AJ turned to Logan, who half shrugged.

She shivered.

Logan took her hand. “Let’s get you warm.”

They took the hike up the 150 billion stairs. Her body did not like it, but she pushed and tried not to let Logan see that she was struggling. But the exhaustion was too much.

She wasn’t able to lift her foot high enough and tripped on a step. She landed on the stairs.

Logan stooped down beside her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so tired. I’ll be fine. Just need a moment.”

They sat there for a minute until she regained a tiny bit of energy, then finished the trek up. The patio was filled with police officers. Adam and Amelia were in full-detective mode until they saw AJ.

Both of them ran to her and gave her hugs and expressed their relief that she was safe.

Amelia rubbed AJ’s arms. “Go get dry and warm. You let us know when you’re ready to give us your statement.”

The detectives stepped away, and that’s when AJ spotted Miles lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

She gasped. Emotions hit like a freight train, one car after another. Horror. Relief. Guilt for feeling relief. Grief—he had been their friend.

She couldn’t breathe.

Logan wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She turned into him and sobbed. The pent-up tears from the last twenty hours released in a storm.

But they were safe. Both her and Logan. Miles was gone and would never torment her again.

When her sobs let up, Logan led her away and around to the front of the house where an ambulance waited. They climbed in the back and accepted space blankets from the EMTs. Logan rested his hand on her back, while the medic listened to her lungs and examined the wounds on her wrists.

She leaned her head on Logan’s shoulder. As ready as she was to go somewhere warm and cozy, she was already home.

Logan opened the door of AJ’s apartment for her. It was the first time they’d been there since Miles had violated it. But it was all clean and didn’t look like he’d ever been there. And for that, Logan was grateful.

They hadn’t left the crime scene until after they’d both given their statements. And despite being fairly dry, riding his motorcycle back left them both cold.

AJ wandered toward her bedroom but stopped and turned before she’d even made it halfway.

“You okay?” he asked.

The weariness on her face morphed into a mischievous grin. “I know how we can get warm.”

He laughed. “Will and Zara will be here in like ten minutes.”

Her eyebrow quirked up.

He shook his head and chuckled. “Tempting, but maybe now’s not the moment.”

She giggled. “I know.” She came back over to him and threw her arms around his neck.

Maybe he should call Will and tell him to take his time.

He kissed his wife. “Go take a shower and get changed.”

“I’m too weary to stand up in the shower. I’ll stick to clean clothes and shower later.” She gave his lips another quick peck and disappeared, leaving him reeling. How had he ever sent her away? It seemed so ridiculous now. Yes, she had betrayed their wedding vows, but she had repented. Why had he had such a hard heart?

He dropped to his knees in the middle of the apartment. God, I’m so sorry. I never want to walk away from You or her ever again. I’m done keeping You at arm’s length. I’m done living for myself and wallowing in self-pity. You gave me a woman who knows me better than I know myself, who loves me in spite of it. Heal us both. Thank You for the work You are already doing in us. Forgive me for failing to protect her. And thank You for Your safety and provision.

He leaned his hands on the floor as sobs shook his body. He had only spent half of his bottled-up grief at the cemetery last week, and now the rest of the suppressed emotions made their way to the surface. Why had he ever held it back?

“Logan?” Panic filled AJ’s voice.

He sat up. “I’m fine.”

She dropped to the floor in front of him. “You don’t look okay.”

He opened his arms to her.

She closed the space and took his face in her hands. She searched his eyes and smiled. “We’re gonna make it.”

“I regret so much wasted time.”

“I know. But God is one to make up for that time. He’s good at that kind of thing. And we’ll just have to make up for it too. And we can. We will.” She winked at him.

“You are so good to me.”

She shrugged. “I haven’t always been. But I promise to be from now on. As best I can anyway.”

He chuckled. “I know.” He leaned forward and seized her lips with his own.

The rumble of a pickup engine sounded in the driveway, so Logan drew out of the kiss and tugged AJ to her feet.

He wiped his face, hoping he didn’t look like a weepy mess.

“You’re fine. Plus, I think they’ll understand.”

AJ went to the door and opened it for Will and Zara. They came in, and Will passed off a bag to Logan, who went and changed.

While Logan changed, AJ rummaged through the kitchen for something to eat.

Zara joined her. “You need to get some sleep.”

“I will. But I’m starving.”

“Fine. Food first. I wanted to talk to you about something. This isn’t a great time, I know …”

“No time like the present. If life has taught me anything, it’s to embrace what’s in front of you.” AJ grabbed a Greek yogurt and a spoon.

Zara nodded. “I was talking to Granny the other day.”

“I love that you call her Granny now too.” AJ dug into her snack.

“It’s such an honor really. I love that woman. But she offered me a room in her house until Will and I get married.”

“Really?” The spoon stopped halfway to AJ’s mouth.

“Yeah, so you and Logan can have this place to yourselves.”

What Zara was saying fell into place in AJ’s sleepy brain. “Oh. Really?”

Zara chuckled. “Really. You two shouldn’t have to wait any longer to get back to being married.”

AJ ate a giant spoonful of yogurt. She wasn’t about to tell Zara they were already working on it. “Are you okay with that?”

“Of course. I’ll be across the driveway and, maybe sooner rather than later, across town with my husband.”

“I like the sound of that.” AJ set down the now empty yogurt and gripped Zara’s arm. “Thanks for helping look for me.”

“That’s what friends are for. They don’t let them be murdered by crazy lunatics. It’s part of the code.”

“Indeed.”

The women chuckled and went back to the living room where the guys were sitting. Zara sat with Will on the couch, but AJ couldn’t quite bear to sit in the chair opposite Logan. So she wandered toward him, aiming for the floor in front of him. He lifted his arm, inviting her to join him. She sat on his leg and wrapped her arms around his neck. His hand tugged her close.

The friends decompressed by talking about what happened and then about nothing, until everyone started falling asleep.

Zara stood. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to sleep in my bed.”

Will and Logan exchanged a look, and Logan nodded slightly.

Will said, “If it’s okay with you, ladies, we’ll both crash here. I’ll be on the couch, of course.”

Zara smiled. “Fine by me.” She kissed Will then left the room. A brief moment later, she came out with pillows and blankets for him. “Good night, y’all.”

They told her good night despite the sun starting to make its appearance.

Will looked at Logan and AJ. “Don’t keep me company. Please, go get some rest.”

AJ stood. “You too.” She took Logan’s hand, and they went to her—their bedroom.

She curled up next to her husband, and in minutes they both fell asleep. The horrors of the day faded away like a foggy mist. They were as they should be. Together.

Three and a Half Weeks Later

The sun peeked through the blinds, and AJ rolled over in bed and found her husband snoring beside her. She still couldn’t believe they’d reconciled. After so many years of being estranged, hoping that reconnecting would be possible, it seemed like a dream. She was afraid she’d wake up one day to find it was, in fact, a dream, but the scars on her wrists from the zip ties told her it had all been too real.

But so good now.

Was this a reflection of how God works all things together for the good of His people? So many bad things, hard things, horrible things … but here they were—childhood friends turned lovers. A marriage reunited. A family reconnected despite tragedy and betrayal. God was so good.

They both had today completely off, so it was a good opportunity to go through the boxes that had arrived yesterday from the restoration company. Part of her dreaded it. Ninety-five percent of what was in those boxes had come from Bree’s room. The day would be full of memories and tears. But hopefully it would be cathartic. AJ prayed it would be healing for both her and Logan.

She traced his face, running her finger along the stubble on his jaw.

He stirred. His eyes didn’t open, but a smile nudged his lips up.

He reached for her and tugged her closer.

She scooted into his arms. “Good morning.”

He grunted.

“Oh come on, get up sleepyhead. The sun is awake.”

“Why does that mean I have to be? Let me sleep in for once.” He still didn’t open his eyes.

“You can sleep in when I go to work tomorrow. But today it’s you and me, no outside commitments.” She rolled onto her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows.

His eyes cracked open. “You’re gonna make us go through those boxes, aren’t you?”

“Isn’t it time? I’m afraid if we put it off, we won’t do it.”

“That’s probably true.” He ran his hand up and down her back. “Big breakfast and then dive in? Or quick, easy breakfast?”

“I’m not super hungry, but I can help you make something if you want bigger.”

“Cereal is okay with me. I’d be fine waiting another two hours before I got up and ate.”

She chuckled.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Morning people.”

She swatted his chest.

He flipped her onto her back and leaned over her.

“A sudden spurt of energy? I thought you wanted to go back to sleep.” She could barely get the words out around her giggles.

He shook his head again but didn’t say anything. Instead, he lowered himself to her and kissed her.

She reveled in the passion of his affection and melted into his kiss.

With a contented sigh, he lay down next to her, holding her close. “Nah, I could still go back to sleep.”

She pushed herself to a sitting position. “Get up, mister. I want coffee. And you need to brush your teeth.”

They crawled out of bed and brushed their teeth before finding some cereal to start their day. They moved around one another in a beautiful dance of ordinary life as husband and wife.

Still in their pajamas, they settled on the couch with the first of the boxes in front of them.

AJ’s hands shook as she removed the tape off the top of the box.

Logan gripped her hand. “Are you okay?”

“Nervous about all the emotions that are going to come out of these boxes.”

“Let’s pray.”

“Please.”

Logan opened his hands to her, so she slid hers into his. “Lord, help us as we face a new layer of grief. We know that grief is a road we will have to walk for the rest of our lives, but with Your hope and comfort, we can face this together. Give us what we need right now as we go through these things that belonged to our little girl. Hold her for us today. Thank You for Your assurance that she is safe with You right now.”

AJ opened her eyes when Logan didn’t continue. Tears already streamed down his cheeks. She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He held her, and they cried for a moment together, but then AJ turned to the box and ripped the tape the rest of the way off. They pulled out one item after another. Mostly little girl clothes. The outfits Bree had worn to church the summer before she died.

AJ could picture each article on Bree. It was good to go through them and remember, but also to admit they could pass the clothes on to someone else.

Logan opened another box. He removed the first item and unwrapped it.

AJ gasped. Bree’s purple hippo. She took it from Logan and held it close. “I’m keeping this.”

“I was going to say that if you didn’t.”

For the rest of the day, they slowly went through each item. Most things would go to others, but the favorite—clothes and toys alike—would be kept. More children would come, Lord willing. Plus they decided they would put together a shelf of special items as a little memorial to Bree, wherever they ended up living.

Together they decided they would talk about her, unlike that first year and the years since. They would talk about her to one another and to anyone who entered their lives and home. They would tell the world how God had blessed them with the most darling little girl for a short while and how God had worked in their lives despite the tragedy of her loss. Because God was good no matter how difficult life was, and more than ever AJ was convinced of that. Bree would want them to tell the world about Jesus and His love, and that’s exactly what they would do.

Two Months Later

The cold December wind whipped around the car, so Logan jogged around to open the door for his wife. They had just come from the title company’s office, where they’d signed the papers to become homeowners once again. The insurance was going to take a while to come through, but God had blessed their socks off, and they’d been able to get a mortgage to buy a new-to-them home.

He opened the car door, and AJ bounded out. She’d had entirely too much caffeine already.

“Logan, it’s really ours!”

“Yep.” Logan offered his elbow.

She wound her hand around it and tugged him to the front door of the two-story, four-bedroom house on two acres. Their favorite part was it was only two blocks away from Will’s house. There were old-growth trees too. It was everything they could have hoped for.

Logan removed the key out of his pocket and unlocked the front door.

AJ nearly shoved him out of the way in her effort to dart inside, but he gripped her arm.

“Wait up there, babe. Tradition.”

She dropped her head to the side. “You aren’t serious.”

“I am.”

“Maybe I should carry you across the threshold.” The teasing glint in her eyes made him laugh.

“You may be a firefighter, but I’m the husband.”

“Just don’t hit my head on the door frame this time.”

“I’ll try not to.” He slid his arm under hers and around her back before leaning over and placing his other arm beneath her knees.

He lifted her and stepped over the threshold into the next chapter of their lives.

“Now put me down.” She tapped his chest.

He lowered her to the ground and watched her spin around.

“I love this house.” She stopped and grinned at him. “I can’t wait to see … to see all the things. Hopefully, we can afford some furniture for this place. It’s so empty right now.”

“We’ll be fine.”

She clasped his hand and dragged him into the living room at the front of the house. “The Christmas tree can go right here.” She stood by the front window.

He nodded.

They walked through the rest of the lower level with a dining room and kitchen and the family room. Then they wandered upstairs to the bedrooms and loft.

“Logan? How many kids?”

“Pregnancy and childbirth went all right for you so … as many as God gives us?”

Her eyes nearly bulged out of her face. “You want to go that route?”

He shrugged. Despite years of not being careful to avoid pregnancy, they’d only ever conceived the one time.

“I think we should wait a little while to try, but do you think we can handle four kids?”

“Of course. Isn’t that what we talked about way back in the day?”

“When we were seventeen?”

He nodded. “So five total.”

She deflated slightly. “Five. Maybe six total.”

It was his turn to raise his eyebrows. “How about we get our feet under us, get used to this whole healthy marriage thing again, and then let God guide how many.”

“I love that idea.” She tucked herself up against him. “What if we had twins?”

He closed his eyes. Twins would be a lot. “A double blessing, I suppose.”

She laid her head on his chest. “What if we can’t get pregnant again?”

He ran his hand up and down her back and cupped her face with the other. “We’ll take on those challenges as they come. But maybe we can adopt or open our home to families that need help. God will use us and this home however He chooses. We’re His, and I pray we’ll be a part of furthering His kingdom.”

“It is so good to hear you talk like that.”

God had done a major work in Logan’s life. He had a long way to go, but he prayed he’d be the husband AJ needed him to be. He prayed he’d love her the way Christ loved the church.

“Whatever comes, I love you.” Logan kissed her forehead.

“I love you too.”

He held AJ close. And he would continue to do so. Forever and always.