Page 6 of Beneath the Mountain Sky (McBride Brother Lumberjacks #1)

Willow looks at Raven and squeezes her hand, giving her a soft smile that pulls at her split lip. “I…I want to go home .”

The way she says the word finally allows me to draw air into my lungs again.

She means the cabin.

Our home.

The place we shared that’s been so cold and empty since she left it.

Raven’s gaze softens until her glare flicks to me. “Are you sure? You left him for a reason…”

I flinch at that, squeezing my eyes closed, rocking back on my feet slightly at the blow. But when I reopen them, Willow isn’t looking at me with any sort of mistrust or anger.

There’s a soft yearning there.

Because she doesn’t remember the fight or what I said.

Willow gives me a smile that tugs at my heart in a way nothing else ever could. “Killian would never hurt me. Not in a million years. I need to go home. I need to go where I feel safe.”

Fuck.

I’ve spent a year wanting her back, wanting to hear words just like that, but now, I can’t even enjoy them. Not when she can’t remember and would despise me if she could.

Raven appears torn between arguing and caving. “And that’s with him?”

Willow nods, wincing slightly at the movement in a way that makes me want to climb into that bed and pull her into my arms. And I would, if I weren’t afraid of hurting her—and of the doctor actually calling security to try to physically remove me.

Not that they could.

But it would cause Willow undue stress to witness their vain attempt.

“If you’re sure.” Raven leans in and kisses Willow on the cheek, then rises to her feet. “Do you need me to bring you anything?”

She glances at me, and I run a hand through my hair, rubbing at the back of my neck. “She took most of her stuff with her. I only have a few things. She’ll need the basics—clothes, toiletries…”

Raven offers a nod. “I’ll drop it off at your place tonight.”

“I won’t be there.”

Her annoyance hardens her gaze. “Then I’ll leave it with Liam.”

I nod my agreement, not about to get into another argument with her by mentioning she could also leave it with Connor just as easily. Knowing the animosity between those two, there’s no question about why she didn’t mention that possibility.

Willow gives her a smile, and a single tear trails down her cheek. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, hon, just get better. I’m so glad you’re home.”

Raven leans down and hugs Willow again, more gently this time, then turns and slips from the room, letting the door close behind her and leaving me alone with Willow for the first time since I pulled her from that river.

Those first few minutes flash through my head…

Before Connor and Liam heard my screams and came rushing from the woods to see what had happened…

When I had her laid out along the shore, searching her for injuries and trying to get her to wake up.

I don’t think I breathed during those moments.

I don’t think I did anything but pray.

And someone heard me…

She’s lying in this bed.

She’s here .

She’s okay .

Mostly.

But I can see that she’s really not .

Even after a year apart, I can still read her.

And she’s terrified and lost right now.

I slowly lower myself into the chair beside her bed again and take her hand in mine.

So small.

So soft.

So cold compared to my own.

I bring it to my lips and brush them across the back of it, inhaling that scent that’s all Willow that somehow still clings to her after everything that’s happened today. Sweet honey and lavender. “How are you doing?”

The tears flow down her cheeks now, over the bruise on the left, the scratch across the right, to where her bottom lip is split near the corner.

Each injury painful to even look at.

She shakes her head. “I don’t know. How should I be?”

A little strangled sob slips from her mouth, and I squeeze her hand when all I really want to do is pull her into my arms and hold her tightly.

“I’m so sorry.” I stare at our entwined fingers, including the one that should be wearing my ring. The ring she left sitting on the nightstand beside the bed we shared when she cleared out and left me and McBride Mountain behind. “I wish there was something I could do. Anything.”

Literally anything.

I would give every penny I have, my own life, to save her even one more minute of the suffering she’s going through right now. To alleviate the pain I see in her eyes. To wipe away those tears permanently.

“It’s not your fault.” She releases another sob. “I don’t think…”

Because she doesn’t know.

And I can’t tell her.

Not now.

Not when she’s like this.

Not when it would break her even more.

I release a heavy sigh, filled with a year’s worth of regret. But she doesn’t need my apology right now when she doesn’t even know what went down between us.

What she needs is reassurance.

“Your memory will come back eventually, and you’ll be able to tell us where you’ve been, what you’ve been doing, and what happened to you. How you ended up back on the McBride Mountain and in the river.”

Her bottom lip quivers. “What if…what if I can’t?”

Fuck.

Those words do more damage than any axe ever could, splintering me wide open as tears start to form in my own eyes.

I lean forward and kiss away the one trickling down her cheek. “Then I’m going to find out what happened to you, and I’m going to make things right. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Killian.”

That blade cuts into me again, slashing deeper.

If she only knew what she said really meant…

How I’ve utterly failed to do just that, and it sent her running from me.

I need her to remember where she’s been and what happened to her, but I dread the day the memory of our fight returns.

Because once she knows what I said to lose her, it will change everything, and I will lose my second chance with the woman who still holds my heart.