Page 4 of Beneath the Mountain Sky (McBride Brother Lumberjacks #1)

WILLOW

M y stomach tenses along with every sore muscle and joint in my body. That pulsating agony pierces my temples as I try to remember anything .

Did it come off in the river?

Or…

Was it already gone?

I never took it off.

Not even when I was making candles.

It was a part of me as much as the man who gave it to me.

The harder I try to figure it out, the more I have to choke back the bile rising in my throat.

I wouldn’t have taken it off.

Never.

Killian watches me carefully, so stock-still that he almost appears like he isn’t breathing. His massive chest doesn’t move. Those intensely blue eyes don’t waver from mine, but I see fear swimming in them.

He has the answers.

And I need them.

Not being able to remember feels like floating lost in space with no tether to get me back to Earth. Spinning endlessly in a dark void. Spiraling out of control with no anchor to anything tangible. No lifeline. Except him.

Killian has always been my rock.

Even before we were together, the McBrides felt like home. He felt like home. A safe haven. The only person who could ever calm my fears and help me escape the turmoil in my life and head.

That’s what I need now.

I need him to do what he does best—take control and wipe away my uncertainty and confusion.

“Wh-what happened since the festival last year?”

Connor and Liam both shift nervously and give Killian a long, knowing look, then offer me tight smiles before they slip out of the room, leaving me alone with the doctor and the man I should be married to by now.

“Ms. May…” Dr. Sommers offers me a kind look and a pat on the hand, as if she can sense my rising panic and doesn’t want it to boil over.

“It’s best if you just relax and rest right now.

Don’t try to strain your body or mind. Give yourself the opportunity to heal.

In the meantime, we’ll keep you comfortable when it comes to the pain, and you should be able to go home tomorrow. ”

Home…

I let my gaze meet Killian’s again, but before I can ask him anything else about the massive gap in my memory, rushed, frantic footsteps pound down the hallway, and a blaze of blond hair flies through the door.

Familiar green eyes meet mine, filled with frantic concern.

Raven’s jaw drops. “Oh, my God, Willow!”

She rushes toward the bed and elbows Killian out of the way. The man twice her size, who absolutely could have stood his ground, knows better than to get between Raven and me after all these years. Especially when she gives him her don’t mess with me or you’ll regret it look.

Even I fear that one.

Raven throws her arms around me, and I wince as the pressure and movement pull at both the IV in my hand and at my damaged ribs.

She doesn’t seem to notice, just buries her face against my neck, wet tears hitting my skin. Her body trembles, and she squeezes me far too tightly, as if she can’t believe I’m really here, in her arms.

When she pulls back, she searches my face. “What the hell happened?”

Her accusatory gaze cuts to Killian.

He holds up his hands with a defensive scowl, his ice-hard glare carving through her like the blade of the axe he usually carries. “Don’t look at me like that. I found her like this in the river.”

Raven’s blond brows fly up. “The river ?” Her focus slices back to me. “What the hell? Last I heard, you were in Charleston.”

Killian shifts his stance, angling himself closer to me, physically inserting himself between Raven and the bed, forcing her to retreat a step. “Charleston?”

What?

My confusion matches Killian’s.

I flick my gaze between their stare-down, trying to process what’s happening, but my drugged—and apparently damaged—brain can’t seem to grasp what they’re saying.

Even attempting to remember brings more agony.

“Why the hell was I in Charleston?”

I struggle to find even a single memory to prove it’s true.

The thudding against my skull gets even worse, and I raise my hands, the IV tugging on my left one as I rub at my temples.

But it’s no use.

It’s all blank.

Absolutely blank.

Raven shoves Killian’s chest, and he retreats enough for her to sit on the edge of my bed and take my hand in hers. Squeezing it, she glances at Dr. Sommers rather than answering my question, almost as if she’s afraid to. “Why doesn’t she remember?”

The doctor continues typing on her tablet, barely peeking up at the soap opera unraveling in front of her. “Trauma like she’s suffered can cause temporary memory loss. It should come back with time and rest.”

She keeps saying that, but the vague answer doesn’t do anything to ease the panic at having a year of my life missing.

I watch her face carefully, trying to gauge her level of concern when I ask the very important question no one has yet. “Should come back. But when ?”

“That’s not an easy question to answer.” She finally fully looks up and offers me a sympathetic smile.

“For most people, it takes a few days or weeks. For others, it can be months, even years.” Her gaze darts to Killian.

“And there are some rare cases where people don’t ever recover those gaps in memory. Though, those are few and far between.”

Don’t ever recover…

A vise tightens around my ribcage.

I might not ever remember the last year…

Dr. Sommers smiles, tucking her tablet under her arm. “I’ll come back and check on you before my shift ends. Press the call button if you need anything. And you”—she points between Killian and Raven—“need to clear out of here. She needs to rest.”

Killian grunts, reinserting himself closer to me with his hip touching the top of the bed. “If you think I’m leaving her, you’re out of your fucking mind.”

The doctor just glares at him, seemingly undeterred by his attempt to physically intimidate her. “Do I need to have security come for you?”

A low growl slips from his lips. “Let. Them. Fucking. Try. ”

He widens his stance and crosses his massive arms over his barrel chest, making his T-shirt pull taut across bulging muscles and tattooed biceps.

An immovable force.

My heart flip-flops the way it always does when he goes into this protective and possessive mode. When he stakes his claim on me and ensures anyone else around knows I’m his—and he’s mine.

Raven offers her most innocent smile to the clearly perturbed doctor.

“We’ll just be a few minutes, and then I’ll go.

” She knows better than to argue with the woman who very well can get her thrown out, even if Killian would be more difficult.

As a reporter, she understands what it means to choose her conflicts carefully and how to get what she wants. “I promise.”

Killian continues his stare-down with the doc. “ I’m not going anywhere.”

Silent tension permeates the air, along with that infuriating beeping that is no longer drowned out by our conversation.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Finally, Dr. Sommers seems to realize she’s going to lose this battle with Killian and releases an annoyed huff before she leaves the room.

Probably wise.

Killian McBride isn’t the man you want to have this kind of argument with because he never breaks or bends. And Raven isn’t much better. She doesn’t get intimidated; she intimidates when necessary. Which is what makes her such a damn good reporter and best friend.

Raven squeezes my hand as soon as the door closes behind the doctor. “So, you don’t remember where you were or how you ended up in the river?”

I shake my head and glance up at Killian. “The last thing I remember was the Memorial Day Festival…last year.”

Her pale-pink lips part as she gapes at me for a moment, then whips her head toward him. “Oh, my God.” She clears her throat, gaze darting between us almost frantically. “Um…”

Killian offers her an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

Anyone else might have missed the motion.

But I know him too well.

I know his body and how he moves.

I know his moods and how to read them.

I know every inch of this man.

And the vibes he’s giving off now…

Something is very wrong.

Something he doesn’t want me to know.

Something he doesn’t want Raven to tell me.

“Umm.” Raven bristles, shifting nervously on the bed and giving me a tight smile. “Well, I think I can help fill in some of the gaps.”

Except whatever Killian is trying to keep her quiet about…

“What do you mean?” Killian’s deep voice echoes around the room, vibrating with his anger. “You told me you didn’t know where she was when I was looking for her.”

Looking for me?

Raven’s earlier comment about Charleston flickers through my head as she scowls at him. “I fucking lied , Killian. She told me she didn’t want to see you again. I was going to protect my best friend, not help you .”

Protect me from what?

My stomach pitches, and I have to fight to keep bile from making its way up my throat again.

“What are you two talking about?” I start shaking, the fingers of my free hand curling in the scratchy hospital bed blanket and tightening. “What’s going on?”

Tears well in my eyes the longer they don’t answer.

My question just hangs in the air.

Neither Killian nor Raven says a word, both simply staring at each other like they’re waiting for the other to break first—or daring the other one to try it.

Finally, Raven throws up her free hand. “Oh, this is ridiculous, Killian. It’s not like she isn’t going to find out.”

Having them talk about me and my life as if I’m not sitting right here makes me want to scream. “Find out what ?”

Raven squeezes my fingers tightly, ignoring the fury radiating off Killian. “Honey, you left town the day after the festival last year.”

Left town?

I look at Killian. “ What? ”

His clenched jaw matches the granite hardness of every muscle in his body, and he shifts uneasily on his feet, arms still crossed over his chest.

He doesn’t want to explain and hates being backed into a corner like this.

He’s exposed with nowhere to hide. “We…had a fight…”

A fight?