Page 47 of Beneath the Mountain Sky (McBride Brother Lumberjacks #1)

WILLOW

C ool morning mist blankets the mountain, hovering over the ground and floating through the trees.

Every step we take feels like passing through some sort of fantasy portal into another world.

One bathed in the cleansing fog that doesn’t hide dangers but protects us from anything that might have ill intent.

Yet, the closer we draw to the gorge, the more that vise tightens around my chest. The harder it becomes to remember last night and how utterly perfect it was to fall asleep in Killian’s arms after what we shared.

Even knowing Killian is at my back—like he always is—and Connor and Liam are right in front of me, leading the way, I can’t help feeling alone up here.

Almost as if some residual memory of just that lingers in my heart, even if I can’t remember it fully.

My anxiety increases as we hike, and our surroundings feel more and more familiar. And not because Killian and I came up here not that long ago.

Another flash of memory hits me.

This time of racing through the gorge…

The narrow walls of rock closing in on me from either side…

Bare feet on uneven, rough ground…

Pouring rain…

Lightning and thunder overhead…

Carrying something, clutching it to me as if it’s precious…

My footsteps falter?—

Killian’s strong arms wrap around me from behind, keeping me from falling face-first on the steep incline. “I’ve got you, Honeybee.”

I sag against him, the memories still making my head swim as much as the exertion it took to get this far up the mountain.

His lips flutter over my ear softly. “You good?”

Killian has asked that question so many times since I got back that I can’t even count them.

And so many times, I lied and said I was fine. Maybe as much as I was honest with him and said I wasn’t.

The last several weeks have been a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions, nightmares, memories, and struggles I wasn’t sure I could get through.

But I don’t have the luxury of not being good right now.

Not when we’re this close to what could be ultimate answers, not when it feels like I’m finally going to get what I’ve been seeking this whole time.

Instead of letting my own head drag me into a dark place, I nod to Killian and try to pull away. “I’m good.”

Have to be.

He gives me a second to get steady on my feet again and slowly releases his hold. But I can feel the reluctance in his action. His desire to keep me wrapped up in his arms, where I’m safe.

It would be easier to stay there and allow myself to get lost in his calming presence, but this might be my only chance to resolve all the uncertainties and answer all the questions.

I glance back at him and offer what I hope is a believable smile, even though I don’t feel it. But this man knows me too well, knows all my tells, and can always read me like an open book.

Like he is now.

His brow furrows over concerned eyes as he watches me move forward up the trail Connor and Liam follow, made by the wildlife coming through the gorge and down onto this side of McBride Mountain.

In the distance, above the towering treetops, the massive rock formation that houses the gorge appears, looming out of the mist. Seeing it again sends a chill through me.

As the sun comes up behind us, it starts to burn off the fog, exposing the thing I saw so vividly in my dreams that I so confidently recalled, even though there’s no reason I should have been up here.

But unlike the first time I came with Killian, this time, I know that answers lie on the other side of it.

That allows me to keep going.

To keep pushing past the sense of unease threatening to make the few bites of my breakfast I managed to eat reappear.

By the time we reach the edge of the formation, I’m practically vibrating in anticipation, barely able to contain the anxiety and excitement mixing in my system.

This is it.

Liam and Connor wait for us, their packs lowered on the ground for a quick break before we push onward.

Connor looks at Killian as he stops beside me. “How much farther is it?”

“Another two miles through the gorge. And on the other side, based on the old maps, the logging trail appears to go for another five. The cabin could be anywhere along there.”

Which means it could take us all day, or even longer, to find what we’re searching for.

If we even find it.

That confidence I had when staring at the map in the office and during our climb yesterday, that I clung to even a few minutes ago, starts to fade.

This is a massive mountain, filled with any number of dangers beyond the man we seek.

Anything could happen to interfere with finding the cabin where I was held—and the person responsible.

Or I could be completely wrong about all of this.

Doubt creeps into my mind. That same darkness that often threatens to swallow me whole, but I’m not going to give in to the desire to break down right now or give in to the negative thoughts.

I release a long, slow breath, staring up at the entrance to the gorge. “Let’s keep going.”

Liam pulls a long drink from his canteen, then wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a break?”

The look Connor and Killian both give me suggests they are wondering the same.

I shake my head. “No, I’m good.”

Because if I stop, I don’t know that I’ll be able to get myself going again.

Killian’s hand settles on the back of my neck, squeezing gently, rough callouses brushing over my skin. “I’ll be right with you the entire time, Honeybee.”

He leans in and kisses my cheek, then sets off in the lead this time, snagging my hand to pull me behind him. That connection offers me the reassurance I need to keep moving.

The sun continues to further illuminate the mountain as we move into the gorge, which quickly sucks up that light with its high sides that tower over us at least a hundred feet.

Gloom settles in the deeper part of the gorge where we walk.

I trail my hands over the stone walls, able to reach each side easily.

It’s so narrow.

Claustrophobic even.

If Killian weren’t directly in front of me, leading us through the claustrophobic channel, I don’t know that I could keep my steps steady.

The voices of the rest of the search party entering the gorge behind us echo down it, and another flicker of a memory races through my head.

Someone yelling behind me…

A bite of pain in my foot.

Lightning illuminating my way through this very narrow passage.

Utter darkness falling again, making it impossible to see.

My hands trailing along these walls to keep myself from running into one.

I was definitely here.

When I came up with Killian, I didn’t remember any of that.

I sensed it, but I couldn’t put it together.

But ever since meeting with Dr. Bird, things have been coming back more vividly.

Memories returning piece by piece, like they’re being poured through a sieve and only revealing what they want to when they choose.

Like now.

I definitely came this way, escaping wherever I was held.

That confidence that I was right back in the McBride Timber office when I knew deep in my gut that I had been kept up here keeps my feet moving forward, following closely behind Killian’s sure steps.

Connor and Liam keep pace behind us, well ahead of the rest of the search party now.

The far end of the gorge appears, with the bright green of the trees visible and sunlight spilling into the opening on the other side of the mountain.

This is as far as Killian and I got last time, stopped by my mind’s inability to release its secrets and my own exhaustion that dragged us down the mountain to the cabin.

Not this time.

I don’t care if I have to camp on this mountain for a damn week; I am not leaving until I find what we came looking for.

Killian steps out into the trees, and I follow, taking in the stillness and silence of the area around us.

Connor’s heavy footsteps move toward us, and he appears beside me, scanning the wilderness before he points north. “Based on the map, the logging area should be that way.”

I glance over at him. “You’ve really never been up here before?”

He shakes his head, Liam joining him.

Killian nods his agreement. “There was never really any reason to go past the gorge. The best hunting has always been on our side of the mountain, and we can’t log this side for at least another generation.”

It makes sense why no one was familiar with the area, how easy it would be for someone to disappear up here without anyone noticing.

The thought is also terrifying.

Living remotely off the grid isn’t unusual on and around McBride Mountain, but this kind of reclusiveness is typically reserved for people who are hiding for a reason.

Connor leads the way in the direction he pointed, the three of us following closely and scanning for any signs of human activity in the otherwise pristine wilderness.

A few minutes pass before the trees start to open up in a way that doesn’t seem natural.

Liam pauses and looks to the left and right. “Is this it?”

We all do the same, turning in place to examine the trees around us. They tower high above the forest floor, creating a thick canopy, except right here.

A perfect strip of cleared land, without a single tree or stump to be seen, extends in either direction.

Killian lips pinch together firmly, and he squats to check something on the ground. He drifts his palm over the uneven foliage as if the land can speak to him in some way that I can’t hear. “It has to be. This isn’t natural.”

“That should be the way down the back side of the mountain.” Liam points to the southwest, then motions northwest. “This would be the way to the old logging area. Where do you think they’d put the cabin?”

Killian’s mouth twists as he considers it, and he runs a hand through his hair and pushes to his feet. “Let’s split up.”

It’s the best way to cover the most ground, but there are only four of us at the moment.