Page 74 of Beneath the Blue Moon

***Casey***

“You have to eat, dear.”

“I’m not hungry,” I reply, my voice hoarse from continuous

crying.

Clara sighs, stroking my hair as I lie in bed, just as I’ve

done since I left Ethan. No—since I was forced to leave him. My iPod has

been stuck on “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars. Before, I listened to it

because of the association with the moon, but it holds a different significance

for me now. I haven’t even been to work. Thank God Rusty didn’t pry when I told

him I was sick. It’s not entirely a lie; I’m emotionally ill. I stick my hand

under my pillow and stroke Ethan’s shirt I’ve hidden there. His scent has

almost faded from it, but it’s still a part of him, something tangible I can

hold on to. Our picture from the fundraiser lies next to it.

I left him. Fuck! The one thing in my life that was perfect

and I left him. The tears roll down my cheeks in earnest as I realize the

gravity of what I’ve done. My heart constricts, and I fear it’s about to give

out. I clutch his shirt tightly as Clara tries to soothe me.

“You and Ethan need to work this thing out. You both can’t

continue like this.”

“You’ve seen him?”

I sit up and stare at her expectantly, drying my eyes with a

tissue.

“Yes. Only he’s taken to the bottle. His mother is sick with

worry.”

His mother. She’s the one responsible.

“There’s nothing to work out. He’ll get over it when he sees

it’s for the best.”

“Best for whom?” Clara asks. “You’re both hurting.”

“Best for him. He deserves better than me.”

She places her palm gently on my cheek. “Sweetheart, you are

exactly what he needs.”

I’m not Shae. She’s what he needs. Clara walks out,

closing the door behind her. I look over at the tray she brought in and my

stomach rumbles. I guess I am hungry after all. I grab my phone and dial

Sandy’s number as I eat. I haven’t spoken to her in a while; I haven’t spoken

to anyone. Even Anna’s called a few times, but I haven’t been very sociable

lately.

“Casey Fiona!” she exclaims. “Why haven’t you returned any

of my calls?”

“Sandy…” My voice breaks.

“What’s wrong?”

“I broke up with Ethan.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it but… I feel like I’m dying here.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing. He was perfect.”

“It’s your commitment thing, isn’t it? You chased him off

because it was getting serious.”

“That’s not it, either. Look, I called for you to cheer me

up not make me feel worse.”

“I’m sorry, hon,” she says in a soft voice. “Maybe it’s a

good time for me to take that trip out there.”

“Really? You’d come?”

“Why not? I’ve got some vacation time. Plus, I need to see

all these handsome men you keep telling me about.”

“Oh, it’s going to be so much better having you here!”

“I know. Just like old times.”

“Exactly,” I agree.

“Okay. Let me get on these arrangements. I’ll call you when

I’ve sorted it all out.”

“Great. Thanks, Sandy.”

“You’re going to be fine, hon. I’ll talk to you later.”

I hang up, feeling just a little bit better. At least I’ll

have my best friend here, even if it’s for a little while.