Page 19 of Beg for It

The fact that I had to struggle to keep myself in check, to hide any indication of what was going on, that my world was being shaken and turned upside down and was seconds away from whining, begging, pleading him to fuck me then and there, makes me want to fucking puke.

I had to clench my ass so hard to keep the slick from dripping free.

I’ve never been so turned on in my life.

A sob rips free as I take a shuttering breath.

All I wanted to do was to come to school and get an education, so I can better my life and be free from the monsters who try to hold me down.

Only to be tossed into a school with three different monsters. I’m on their radar. They know something's up. And it fucking kills them that they don’t know what it is.

They have to suspect something, but what? Do they know who I really am? Not that I’m his scent match, I could see it on River’s face. Outside the demented pleasure in his expression, he had no idea.

But the threat they might think I pose on their crew, who my dad is, their enemy.

No. If they did, they wouldn’t be letting me walk around here freely, they would drag me away and take care of business like they’re known for.

The thing is, I’m not free, am I? Not truly.

They’ve been following me, making sure I know it too. Always lurking when I’m at school.

What about outside school hours, off campus? Not that I leave campus much as it is.

Surely they have better things to do with their lives than to spend all of their time watching me.

They just want me to know they have power over me. To keep me on my toes, scared and panicked.

And they’re doing a fucking good job of it.

They can’t know what I am, who I am, and they sure as hell can’t find out I’m scent matched to River.

Just thinking about what that could mean for me has me scrambling to grab the bottle of pills from my pocket.

It’s not time to take my next dose, but as my hand shakes, dropping a few pills onto my sweaty palm, I toss them back and whimper as I swallow them dry.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I give myself another few moments before I force myself onto unsteady legs.

“Get a hold of yourself.” I scold. “Stop being so weak.”

Scrubbing my face with my hands, I shake my limbs out trying to loosen them up.

My eyes fall to my dick that’s still rock fucking hard. Another wave of shame hits me. I wish I was different than I am. I hate how much I want River and my biological need for alphas.

Taking my keys out of my pocket, I take the tip of one and press it into the palm of my hand and focus on the pain until my erection dissipates.

Now is not the time to break down. When I get home, I’ll figure out a new game plan. One that is mainly focused on doing my damn best to stay away from River and his pack and keeping them from finding out yet another truth of mine.

Something tells me it’s not going to be that easy.

* * *

It was hard, but I managed to make it through the rest of the day's classes. I’ve been on edge ever since. Practically on the edge of my seat, ready to run if I spotted one of them. The middle of a lecture be damned.

It was all a waste of time, I should have just gone home because I wasn’t able to concentrate at all. Now I’ll have to spend the rest of the night watching the class lectures online in the student portal to catch up so I’m not falling behind.

Now that I have the chance to think, I’m reminded that I still haven’t been able to find a job.

I’ve called a lot of places, applied online, yet nothing has changed regarding my unemployed status. Positions around here must get filled fast. I’m sure I’m not the only struggling college student on campus.