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Juri

As I stood in my kitchen at home, cigarette in hand, staring at the toaster, I tried to ignore the stabbing headache. I hadn’t had such a bad hangover in a long time and I felt like crap.

Fuck! What the hell got into me? Why did I let that happen? Luca is hot. But it must have been the back room. It triggered something in me.

Noé had once called it my playground. Just as the stage was for him, these back rooms were my playground, where I enjoyed turning men’s heads.

But with Luca?

How could I so recklessly violate my principles? He wasn’t even a paying customer. And I don’t engage with someone like that.

In an instant, a sense of panic came over me.

Did I develop feelings for this guy?

Nonsense!

No, I didn’t fall in love or anything like that.

Wait … What?

Bullshit!

It was just lust. The moment was right.

I should indulge myself a bit more anyway.

Besides, I’ve never been in love, and love is taboo for me anyway. Despite my rule against falling for a client, it never became an issue. No one who wasn’t a client ever fell for me, either. In that regard, being an escort seemed like the perfect fit for me.

But Luca is not a client.

Argh!

The fact that my thoughts revolved around Luca ever since we jerked off in that back room was killing me—and was partly the reason for my hangover.

“Would you kiss me too?” he had asked.

G ood Lord! Who could have said no to that? And then he sat there with a hard-on next to me! At least I didn’t kiss him and stayed strong.

Urgh … who am I kidding?

Before the ash fell, I tapped the cigarette over the sink and took a deep drag.

Fuck. I wonder what he thinks of me. I was the one who showed him that back room. Even if he only analyzed the facts a little, he should have figured out how I made my money.

But I don’t think he gets it.

Kind of cute.

“What’s this?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced at Alex, the photographer I had exchanged numbers with last night when he was concerned about Noé’s disappearance.

He pushed an empty pill packet across the kitchen counter to me. With a hint of irritation, I held it in my hand and examined it more closely.

“Some kind of benzos,” I replied, stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray.

“Should he go to the hospital?”

“Just let him sleep it off.”

“He’s running a fever.”

“He’ll be okay,” I said laboriously, pushing back a few strands.

Finally, the toaster spat out my food. I carefully placed the toast on a plate with a knife. With honey in hand, I walked past Alex into my room.

Luca had left at two, but I returned to the club and continued partying with Clé and Sandro.

On the way home, I happened to run into Noé.

He stumbled out of a bar not far from Erotic World and was even worse off than me.

When I dragged him up the stairs and asked if he had taken something, he mumbled something about benzos.

Even though I knew Alex was eagerly waiting for any sign of him, I brought Noé to bed and hung out in my room.

I had only been awake for an hour, but after I let Alex know, he was at the door within ten minutes.

My whole body ached as I sat on the bed.

I turned on a series on my laptop and ate my toast. Pizza or a kebab would have been more satisfying for my hangover, but I just couldn’t bring myself to venture out onto the street.

Fat flakes fell from the sky, and the day was dark gray. Just like how I felt.

The last whiskey cola was definitely too much.

I must have drifted off, as I awoke to a noise, only to find the series still playing, and my sense of time lost. Struggling to rise, I pushed open the bedroom door. A wave of dizziness hit me, prompting me to lean against the door frame for support. In the hallway, I spotted Noé and Alex.

“You’re leaving?” I asked, although it was obvious.

“Yeah. Thanks, Juri-Rock,” Noé said, taking two steps toward me.

Considering how he seemed last night, I was taken aback to see him already up and about. Nonetheless, I gave him a hug.

“It’s okay, Stoney. See you.”

It was hard for me to let him go, but I knew he was better off with Alex than with me. I was even happy for him. He deserved nothing less. And the way the photographer eyed him, it was obvious he would do anything for him. I kissed Noé on the cheek and let him go.

“See you later,” he said, running his fingers through my tousled hair. “Be careful out there. And call me if anything happens.”

I nodded and escorted them to the door. He knew me so well, and it was reassuring to know he was there for me in his own way.

Once I was alone in the apartment again, feelings of melancholy began creeping up, which wasn’t good.

It was time to pull myself out of this rut.

The best way to do that was to focus on my work.

If I hadn’t taken time off because of the concert, it would have been a normal work weekend anyway.

But first, a shower.

Shortly after, I went through my messages and answered a few inquiries.

As always, I kept Wednesday free. Although I wasn’t so sure if going to the Gothic Party was a good idea, Clé insisted.

He raved about some DJ and said the evening would be legendary.

I didn’t know much about it. As long as the music was good—although in my current state, even thinking about a party was demanding after a shower.

Luca is there.

The thought alone triggered something in me that I couldn’t quite name. We hadn’t talked much after what happened—at least not about important things.

I should cancel with Clé.

And yet I had to admit that part of me could hardly wait to see Luca again. I glanced at my schedule. Monday and Tuesday were already booked, but today was still empty. It wasn’t my intention to work today, but fixing bookings wasn’t enough to distract me.

A message suddenly popped up. “Hey! How’s it going? Made it home safely?”

Luca?

Why is he texting me? I threw the phone next to me on the bed and rubbed my face. This can’t be true. If only he were a customer!

Wait a minute.

That thought made me sit up. In a way, he was. Except that he somehow managed to get my service for free.

Fuck!

My inner guard reacted, and with reservation, I typed back: “I hope that was inspiring enough.”

I almost fell for his charm. It must have been the alcohol. And the crazy week with Noé. Somehow, I just wasn’t myself. Fortunately, I realized it in time.

“Super inspiring! Just drafted a concept and I’m ready to meet my mentor. What about you?” Luca replied immediately.

My mood sank, and I began to hate this Luca. His facade blinded me even when he wasn’t here. “Working,” I replied curtly.

I immediately left the chat with Luca and scrolled through the other messages. I didn’t have to look long and had booked an appointment for the evening in no time. Since I had three hours left before going, I ordered a pizza and checked my notes from said client.

It was the details that mattered, because with this man, a submissive, fifty-year-old sommelier, I had a small questionnaire ready that he answered before each meeting.

This not only gave me the exact location and room number, but he also wrote me his safeword, which words I couldn’t use during humiliation, and which toys he currently preferred.

The latter served more as inspiration for me on how to play the game with him and increase the tension, but it didn’t mean I fulfilled his wishes.

I was pretty good at taking on the dominant role. Maybe that was because of my cool demeanor, which probably wasn’t much of a surprise, as my dad had also made every effort to drive out the warmth. My S/M clients enjoyed it, and I went home with a bunch of money without having to get naked.

I didn’t hear from Luca anymore. But that was okay. I considered my job done. He had his concept, and that was the most important thing for him.

The days went by quickly, and before I knew it, it was Wednesday and I was back at the Gothic Party with Clé. He was right. The sound was awesome, and to enjoy it even more, I treated myself something to celebrate. It made me feel like I was being carried through the air by the dark wave sounds.

I shook off all the dirt of the last three days and tried not to think about the bruises on my neck that a client had left me with last night. While Sunday with the S/M guy had been totally easy, all three jobs on Monday and Tuesday had left a pretty dull aftertaste.

I felt empty and would have hidden away in my dark room at home if Clé hadn’t rung the doorbell like crazy.

I had no choice but to go with him. Clé was just flirting with a gothic bride, and Sandro left for the bathroom when I spotted Luca.

He was working behind the bar in the corner of the main dance floor with another bartender.

It was crowded, so the two of them were very busy.

However, it seemed like he was arguing with his colleague behind the counter.

The flickering light seemed to irritate him, as he kept squinting as if he were blinded.

Yet his body moved automatically. He poured drinks, collected money, and gave change.

Since there was less going on in the small dance floor nearby, we had bought all three rounds at the bar there so far.

And it didn’t look like the rush at Luca’s bar would die down anytime soon.

Even though I would have liked to say hi to him, I was somehow also glad that he had no time for me, so I surrendered myself to the music again and immersed myself in this weightless state of intoxication that made me forget everything.

Except Luca.

I kept looking over at him, which was easy because his aura literally drew my eyes.

But it looked like something was totally wrong.

Luca wiped his sweaty forehead with his forearm and shook his head irritably.

When his colleague said something to him, he rolled his eyes.

And when the two of them got in each other’s way while mixing drinks, it seemed like they were about to go at each other’s throats.

Then the argument erupted. Luca impatiently placed two beers on the counter, dried his wet hands on a towel, and angrily threw it to the side.

He shoved the other bartender away, which was easy because Luca was visibly more muscular than him.

Just in time, the other bartender managed to hold on before knocking a few bottles to the ground.

Of course, he didn’t take that lying down and started yelling back.

Luca clenched his fist and glared angrily at the guy.

A blond strand fell into his face, and his piercing gaze spoke volumes.

But then he pushed the other bartender aside and left the bar.

Is he leaving?

Without noticing me, Luca headed straight for the exit. He was only two steps away from me when I intercepted him from the side and hugged him. “Where are you going?” I whispered in his ear.

“What …?”

Luca spun around, so I pulled him toward me and drew him into another hug. “Are you about to lose your job again?”

I could feel his tense muscles relaxing. He clung to me and buried his face in my neck.

“It’s just too much for me today,” he muttered. “The people. The flickering lights. That asshole Daniel.”

“That’s no reason to lose it,” I said in a loving tone.

“Nor is it a reason to treat me like a slave.”

I smiled. If he only knew how often I played the slave. “Do you need the job?”

Luca hesitated, but then nodded. “Or I’ll settle for bread and water.”

“Then go back and apologize to the guy.”

“He’s an asshole!”

“That doesn’t matter.”

Luca didn’t move. Rather, he seemed to enjoy my hug and didn’t want to let go. “Why are you holding me?”

“No idea. Maybe because I’m high.”

I felt him stiffen in my arms; maybe I should have refrained from telling him that I had taken something.

But his muscles relaxed again immediately, and he seemed to find comfort in my proximity.

Taking a deep breath, he reluctantly released me and nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go over there and eat humble pie. So humiliating.”

As Luca headed back to the bar, Sandro reappeared by my side. “Wasn’t that the guy … oh … the bartender! Since when are you guys so close?”

I shrugged and watched Luca. His colleague appeared to brush off their scuffle as Luca returned to his station and took orders. Daniel was probably just relieved that he didn’t have to handle the rush himself.

For a moment, everything appeared fine, but then the two of them got into it again by reaching for the same bottle at the same time. They didn’t even try to hide how annoyed they were with each other.

Another accidental collision pushed things over the edge.

Like two roosters asserting dominance, they squared up, exchanging heated words and shoving each other in the chest. Despite the music drowning out their voices, Daniel's message was unmistakable.

With a pointed finger, he gestured toward the door, signaling for Luca to leave.

With a disapproving shake of my head, I observed Luca toss the towel once more before storming out of the bar.

Amidst the bustling crowd, he didn't cross my path this time.

His face was etched with fury, causing me to hesitate initially about whether to pursue him.

Eventually, I made my decision and trailed after him, stepping outside into the stairwell.

What a hothead.

“Wait!” I even called his name, but either he didn’t hear me, or he just didn’t know where his head was at.

The latter seemed to be the case because, by now, he was pushing people out of his way in a rather aggressive manner, which wasn’t like him at all.

In the stairwell, I caught up to him just as he was about to run down the stairs. I reached for him and tried to pull him around to face me, but he grabbed my arm, causing me to lose my balance and hurtle through the air. In a split second, I saw the steps above me.