Page 31 of ASAP

After the show, I jump into a taxi. Looking up the batting cages nearest to Hyemi’s apartment, I give the address to the driver and sit back in the seat. I’m only going because I’m worried about Hyemi. She told me that she has feelings for Nathaniel. If she confesses to him, his rejection, however gentle, will devastate her. He must have invited her out to make her feel better, though I can’t figure out how they ended up there together.

It’s not just a simple crush she confessed to having either. I can see her text from three nights ago even when I close my eyes. I think I’m in love with Nathaniel.

I text Gi Taek and Angela on the way, for moral support.

So you’re going there so that you can talk to Hyemi?Gi Taek writes.

He’s still typing when Angela adds, It has nothing to do with the fact that Hyemi is with Nathaniel, and you want to make sure there’s nothing going on between them?

Yes, I type quickly. The first.

Okay, whatever you say! ???.

How do you even know where he is?This from Gi Taek.

I type out the long explanation of how I was on the radio show and Nathaniel said he was at the batting cages.

Won’t his fans do the same thing?

I stare at Gi Taek’s message. I hadn’t thought of that. I think it’ll be okay. I’m only going to check the one. It’s not near Joah but Hyemi’s apartment.

Text us when you meet up with him, Gi Taek messages. It’s late.

Fighting!

No, Angela,I type out,I’m just going there to check on Hyemi.

???! Okay!

I pay the driver and exit the taxi onto a quiet street. It’s more secluded than I imagined, tucked in a network of alleys behind one of the larger boulevards. A single streetlight illuminates a green single-story building with a flickering signboard that reads HOME RUN HITS!

I press open the door, peering inside before stepping through. The building is divided into a small entrance area in the front, with cages in the back, separated by a chain-link fence. There’s a photobooth against the wall and a few old arcade games. The attendant must have stepped out for a moment because the room is empty.

I hear the loud crack of a baseball hitting a metal bat. Slowly, I approach the fence. All the cages are empty except for the last one where two people stand. I recognize Hyemi’s laugh, brighter and clearer than it had been over the radio. I can’t see Nathaniel’s face; his back is to me. Hyemi wears a helmet that’s too large for her, and she’s laughing while fiddling with the straps. She’s having a difficult time of it, so Nathaniel reaches up, his longer fingers adjusting the straps for her. Afterward, he raises a fist and knocks it gently against the top of her helmet. She grins, swatting at him.

I feel odd, light-headed. They’d both been ignoring my texts all day. Is this why? Because they were together? Then there’s movement as another person comes into view.

Jaewoo. They’re not alone. He must have been seated before, which is why I hadn’t seen him. He takes the bat that Hyemi holds out to him.

Facing out from the cage, he raises the bat. A pitching machine releases a ball and he swings the bat, connecting with the ball. It soars skyward before colliding with a high net and dropping to the ground.

Hyemi shouts in English, “Home run!”

I realize, as Jaewoo continues his turn with the bat, that they’re speaking entirely in English. I can only hear snatches of their conversation, echoing back to where I linger by the fence. Though it’s only Jaewoo and Hyemi’s voices. I strain my ears, but I can’t pick out Nathaniel’s among them.

Then it’s Nathaniel’s turn. As he takes the bat from Jaewoo, I catch sight of his face for the first time.

There are dark shadows beneath his eyes, as if he hasn’t slept well the past few nights. He looks tired. And... unhappy.

He looks sad. My chest aches and I suddenly want to cry.

He swings the bat with both hands before adjusting his grip on the handle, bringing it level with his shoulders. He turns to face the machine. It shoots out a ball, so fast I almost miss it.

He swings, hard. Harder than Jaewoo had. The ball connects with the bat and goes flying.

Hyemi jumps to her feet. “Home run!”

The machine releases another ball in quick succession—he must have adjusted the speed. Jaewoo had more of a lull between pitches.

Nathaniel swings again, even harder this time; the ball ricochets to the left, hitting a pole. Foul ball. He continues, not letting up. With every swing, the ball soars, catching at the back of the net.

“Hey,” I hear Jaewoo shout. “Slow down.”

He doesn’t. He keeps swinging harder, faster.

By the time he’s finished with his turn, my heart is racing.

“Let’s take a break,” I hear Jaewoo say, and then Hyemi is rounding the corner. She’s coming this way. I quickly turn toward the photobooth and duck inside, catching a glimpse of her as she walks past my hiding spot toward the bathrooms. I can’t believe I just hid from her. What have I been reduced to? Pushing back the drapes, I step cautiously out of the booth.

Making my way back to the fence, I move farther along it, getting as close as possible to the last cage without stepping into view.

“I’m not sure this is helping,” I hear Jaewoo say. He and Nathaniel are both sitting on the bench, with Nathaniel leaning his head back against the chain-link.

What’s not helping? Hadn’t they come to cheer up Hyemi? From the way she skipped past the photo booth, I’d consider their mission accomplished.

Nathaniel doesn’t respond, and I press closer.

“Do you feel any better?” Jaewoo asks softly.

“No,” Nathaniel says, and his voice doesn’t sound like it did over the radio—casual, unaffected. It sounds broken. “It still hurts like hell.”

It’s as if my body moves of its own volition, moving toward the gate that separates us.

I finally admit to myself that I didn’t come here for Hyemi; I came because I wanted to be with Nathaniel, and because I was jealous.

I close my hand around the latch of the gate.

In my pocket, my phone vibrates with a message. Gi Taek and Angela, wondering if I found Nathaniel, if I’m safe. I want to ignore their message, but I also don’t want them to call the cops.

I take out my phone. It’s a text from Cha Donghyun. What about lunch on Wednesday? I can pick you up.

The numbness from before freezes me in place, stealing away my will, my hope, my breath.

I’ve already made my decision. If I walk through these doors, if I go to Nathaniel now, I’ll be making a promise I can’t keep.

I release my hand from the gate. Before I can change my mind, I turn and rush out the doors...

And into a crowd.

For a moment, I just stand there, disoriented.

Then a girl points at me, so close that I can see the heart-shaped rhinestone on her fingernail. “Isn’t that Min Sori?”

Suddenly faces are turning toward me, phones being lifted. I cover my face with my hands, the shutter and click of cameras going off all around me.

“Sori-eonni, look at me!”

“Min Sori, I’m a fan.”

“Give her space!” a girl shouts. The crowd surges forward and I trip and fall; my phone skitters, disappearing into the rush of feet.

I see a gap in the crowd, and on instinct, I stand up and run. The students hang back, but some of the older people, men carrying large DSLR cameras, follow.

Tabloid reporters. Paparazzi.

They chase me down the street. I take a left, realizing too late that I’m heading away from the main boulevard.

The streets are darker here. I can hardly see my feet hitting the pavement.

The only advantage I have is that I’m smaller, quicker. Catching sight of a narrow alley, I dart inside, only to cry out when I realize it’s a dead end. Backtracking, I spot a tiny space between garbage bins and lower myself to the ground. I listen to the pounding of feet as the paparazzi rush past my hiding place.

I pull my knees to my chest. I don’t have my phone, so I can’t call anyone. Gi Taek warned me that this could happen. I hadn’t taken him seriously. Or at least, I hadn’t wanted to. All I could think about was reaching Nathaniel. I shift on the ground, then wince, noticing a trickle of blood sweeping down my leg. I must have scraped my knee when I fell.

I should leave this alley. I’m trapped here with nowhere to run. If one of the paparazzi should circle back...

There’s a noise outside the alley. Footsteps from the direction the men had run earlier. Someone’s coming. I stand, looking for a way out, a door, a ladder, but it’s all brick. I feel panic overtake me, my heart palpitating.

“Sori!”

Nathaniel.

He skids into the alley, as if he’d been sprinting. His eyes are bright, his breath ragged.

Crying out, I rush toward him. His arms circle around me, holding me close. “God, I’m so glad I found you. Are you hurt?”

I shake my head, unable to speak.

“Why are you here? Weren’t you just on the radio show?”

I’m here because I was jealous, and I wanted to be with you.

But I can’t tell him that.

“Everything’s fine,” he breathes, “as long as you’re okay.”

I realize I’m clinging to him. I let go and step back. He frowns slightly.

“How did you find me?” I ask.

“A few fans saw you come down this way.” He pauses. “They directed the tabloid reporters in a different direction.”

“I’m so irresponsible,” I groan. “There’s going to be a huge scandal because of me.”

“Maybe,” he says.

I glare at him. “What are you doing with Woo Hyemi?”

“Hyemi?” he says. My heart pangs at his casual use of her name. “I was at Joah. She was there with her father, picking up some of her stuff. She looked upset, so I invited her out with Jaewoo and me.”

It’s close to what I thought might have happened.

“We should head back,” he says. “Come on. Jaewoo should be waiting for us over this way.” He holds out his hand, and I take it. Slowly, we make our way toward the main boulevard, emerging onto a well-lit street. Jaewoo and Hyemi wait outside his car that’s parked by the curb.

“Eonni!” Hyemi says, spotting me. Nathaniel lets go of my hand as she rushes over.

“I have your phone,” she says. “I found it on the ground.” She holds it out to me.

“Thank you, Hyemi-yah,” I say. The screen has a crack, but otherwise it still works.

“That was so scary!”

“What happened?” I ask.

“We noticed something going on outside,” Jaewoo says, walking over. “When we came out, a girl explained what had happened, that you were here, and that the tabloid reporters had chased you. A few of the girl’s friends had followed you to make sure you were safe. Nathaniel...”

He trails off, his gaze focusing on Nathaniel beside me. He doesn’t have to explain this next part. Nathaniel had gone after me.

“We should get out of here,” Nathaniel says. “Those tabloid reporters might still be lurking around.”

Jaewoo nods, heading to the driver’s side of the car.

Nathaniel passes by me to open the front passenger door.

“Eonni, you should sit in the front this time,” Hyemi says, having apparently ridden in the front on the way here. Before I can answer, she rounds the car to the other side.

Nathaniel hasn’t moved from holding open the door. As I slip into the car, I have a brief memory of a similar moment in New York City, when Nathaniel had called over a taxi for me.

As I adjust my skirt, Nathaniel sucks in a breath. “Sori, you’re bleeding.”

I’d forgotten about the scrape from my fall. It hardly hurts anymore.

Nathaniel pushes back the door the widest it will go, then leans forward to open the glove compartment, removing the first-aid kit.

Crouching on the ground, he gently shifts my skirt away from my knee. A blush creeps up my neck. Self-consciously, I glance at Jaewoo, but he’s looking down at his phone. As for Hyemi, I can’t see her unless I turn around in my seat.

Then I’m brought back to myself, wincing as Nathaniel presses an alcohol swab to the wound. His eyes flicker up to meet mine.

For a brief moment, he holds my gaze, letting me see how unhappy he is. Then he drops his eyes, applying Bacitracin to the wound and pressing a Band-Aid securely over it.

“If you need help,” he says softly, rising to his feet, “you should say something.”

He closes my door before opening the back, sliding into his seat.

Jaewoo guides the car out of the street and onto the main boulevard.

As we’re crossing the bridge over the Han River, Hyemi points to a glowing wheel in the distance. “Look, they finished building the Ferris wheel.”

We drop off Hyemi first, and then it’s Nathaniel, Jaewoo, and me.

As Jaewoo turns onto my street, Nathaniel breaks the silence. “You’re still going to the launch of my song, right? It’s this Wednesday.”

The text message from Cha Donghyun burns a hole in my pocket. I haven’t responded to him yet. “I can’t. Something came up. I’m sorry.”

Nathaniel doesn’t respond. Like before, I can’t look at him unless I turn in my seat, so I continue facing forward.

“Do you...” I take a breath. “Do you not want to host the awards show?” I wouldn’t blame him. I’ve done nothing but hurt and disappoint him.

“Didn’t Secretary Park tell you? I said yes.”

“You did?” This time I do turn around, but he’s gazing out the window, his chin in his hand.

I sit back. “She didn’t.”

Jaewoo finally pulls up outside my gate. Nathaniel gets out of the back seat to sit in the front. He doesn’t look at me when he passes me. “Night, Sori,” Jaewoo says from within the car before Nathaniel shuts his door. They don’t drive off immediately, and I realize they’re waiting for me to go through the gate.

Turning, I key in the code and hurry inside. I wait until I hear the sound of Jaewoo’s car moving back down the hill before slowly trudging up the steps to my dark, empty house alone.