Page 13 of ASAP

I’m feeling a lot of emotions from the events of the last few days, so I decide to go shopping.

Retail therapy. I’m a big fan.

I’m at the IPARK Mall browsing stickers at the bookstore when I get a text from Secretary Park about a last-minute variety show recording.

Hyemi’s already in the back seat of the van when they pick me up outside the mall.

“Good morning, Seonbae,” she says in her squeaky voice. Not for the first time I wonder what her role in ASAP will be, whether a vocalist or a rapper or both.

“Good morning, Hyemi. Are you excited about today’s recording?”

Hyemi nods, though I can tell she’s nervous, fidgeting with the bracelet she always wears around her wrist.

“An actress was scheduled to appear on the episode,” Secretary Park says, as she maneuvers the van around the taxis outside the mall, “but she had to cancel last minute.” This explains why Hyemi was invited at such a short notice. Joah must have requested to send her as a replacement.

It’s a great opportunity for Hyemi, since she hasn’t had any exposure to the public. Even I’ve had more exposure than her, with my modeling and radio show appearance. If netizens search for Woo Hyemi online, they’ll be able to find this episode, instead of something embarrassing in her childhood, like a prepubescent middle school photo. Though, as Hyemi’s first variety show appearance, it’s a bit like throwing her into the deep end and hoping she can swim.

“What program is it?” I ask Secretary Park, my mind already racing with ideas on how to coach Hyemi so that she’ll know how to respond in every situation that might arise.

“Catch Me If You Can.”

My pulse leaps. That’s one of my favorite shows. It airs every Wednesday, and Ajumma and I always watch it together after dinner. It features weekly guests—the cast of a currently airing drama or an idol group—who, after a short, silly interview with the hosts, split up into two teams to play an elaborate game of tag.

“Who are the other guests?”

“It’s a Seoul Arts Academy–themed episode this week. The filming location is the school. And the guests are all SAA alumni or current students, like Hyemi.”

I remember how Hyemi had told me that she’d enrolled in the school at the beginning of this year.

“And Youngmin,” Secretary Park adds.

I frown. “Youngmin? But I thought the XOXO members were on hiatus.”

“They are, but this was scheduled in advance. All of them will be guests. Oh, and I forgot to mention. When the producer realized you were also an alumnus, they insisted you join as well.”

I blink. “What?”

“You and Hyemi will both be guests on the show.”

“Congratulations, Seonbae!” Hyemi says. “I’m so happy we’ll be on the show together.”

Sensing my state of confusion, Secretary Park elaborates, “The producer listened to your episode of The Woori and Woogi Show. She says she’s a fan.”

A... fan? After The Woori and Woogi Show my name was trending, with netizens speculating who my boyfriend was and whether he was an idol trainee. I even reached the top fifty in the weekly search rankings. But it never occurred to me that someone had listened to the show and liked me.

I shake my head, pushing these thoughts to the back of my mind. I need to focus.

“When does the recording start?” I ask.

“We have about an hour and a half.”

“Okay,” I say. I can feel the gears shifting in my head. “Then let’s make every minute count.”

We pass through the gates of Seoul Arts Academy with seconds to spare, pulling into an empty space in the parking lot. I’m panting a little, the last hour and half seeming to go by in the blink of an eye. After calling up my hairstylist for hair and makeup, I’d asked Angela if she could bring some of her clothing to the salon for Hyemi to borrow, since they’re about the same size and I thought Hyemi would look great in Angela’s fresh, youthful style.

“Do I look all right?” Hyemi asks, nervously pulling on her shirt. She’s wearing a fitted top with a square neckline and cap sleeves. I’ve paired it with a flowy mini skirt—with black safety shorts underneath, of course—and white sneakers, since we’ll presumably be running during the shoot. Normally I would have asked her to choose what to wear herself, as she’d feel more confident in clothing she felt shelooked good in, but there wasn’t any time.

“You look beautiful.”

Hyemi blushes. “You look stunning, Seonbae.”

I’d switched outfits with my hairstylist, Soobin, at the salon—the T-shirt dress I’d worn to the mall was too casual—and I’m in a corseted top and skintight jeans. Luckily, I was already wearing sneakers.

We exit the van and make our way toward the first filming location, right outside the front entrance of the school. It’s a Sunday, which means classes aren’t in session. A few students have volunteered as extras for the episode, peering from out the windows of the school. They’re wearing their school uniforms, as well as face masks to protect their privacy.

“Seonbae, I’m nervous,” Hyemi says as we walk.

I take her hand, squeezing it. I wish I’d had more time to prepare her. While at the salon, she’d confessed she’d only seen a few episodes of Catch Me If You Can.

“You’ll do fine,” I reassure her. “Just be yourself.” And hope for a good edit.

As we bow and greet the two hosts—a large, jolly-faced comedian and a handsome, older actor who was a heartthrob in the nineties—another large black van rolls through the gate into the parking lot.

Faint screams erupt from the school as the back doors of the van slide open at the same time. Jaewoo and Nathaniel jump out on opposite sides, followed by Youngmin, then Sun from the passenger side door.

Together, they bow to the staff members and hosts who rush over to greet them.

Jolly laughs at something Nathaniel says, while Heartthrob shakes Sun’s hand.

My eyes linger on Nathaniel, who’s dressed in a plaid long-sleeved shirt and ripped jeans. He’s dyed his hair dark brown again, from the edgy blue of the promotion cycle. Though the blue suited him, the brown is giving him strong “boyfriend” vibes and I feel my heart skip a beat.

“Good afternoon, Hyemi-ssi.” Jaewoo appears at our side. Hyemi beams at him—they must have met at the company at some point. “Are you excited for your first variety show recording?”

“Yes!” she squeaks. “Please take care of me, Seonbae.” She gives him a ninety-degree bow, to which he responds with an indulgent smile before sauntering away with one hand in his pocket. I shake my head, amused. He’s clearly fashioned himself a role as an older brother figure. Hyemi’s gaze follows him with figurative hearts in her eyes. He needs to tone it down before Hyemi develops a full-blown crush, though I guess that wouldn’t be so awful. She’d want to stick around if she had a crush—long enough to debut and for her father to follow through with his investment—and it’s not like anything would come of it, as Jaewoo’s head over heels in love with Jenny.

He wanders over to where Nathaniel is getting his makeup touched up. One of the artists holds a thin brush to his lips, staining them a dark burgundy. For a moment, I stare transfixed as the woman dabs color onto his lips. When Nathaniel lifts his gaze, I look away.

I need to focus if I want Hyemi to not only have a positive experience but also leave a good impression on the audience. As for myself, not looking like a fool would be ideal.

The recording starts on time with Jolly and Hearthrob making introductions to the camera. My heart drops when they ask us each to do a short intro dance, only to be surprised when Hyemi performs a cute, flirty dance. Youngmin and Nathaniel are the best dancers in XOXO, but since it’s a variety program, they go for laughs instead. Youngmin dances to a popular girl group song and Nathaniel spins on his head. When his shirt starts to ride up, the hosts and members pile on top of him to preserve his “modesty.” I lift my hand to cover Hyemi’s eyes.

When it’s my turn, I channel years of dance training to effortlessly move my body, following the rhythm of the song randomly chosen for me. Since Hyemi embodies the “cute and youthful” concept, I decide to play up “sexy” and “mature.” It’s always good to give the viewers variety. After I finish, I spot a woman—presumably the producer director, or PD—smiling at the monitor behind the main camera.

After filming the introductions, we take a short break to retouch makeup and hydrate—Hyemi has to use the bathroom—then commence filming the next segment in which we’re to pick teams for the game part of the show.

We play gawi bawi bo to decide team captains, with Nathaniel’s rock beating Jaewoo’s scissors to become one captain, and Sun’s paper beating Heartthrob’s rock to become the other. The rest of us line up in a row.

“Jihyuk-ah, why don’t you choose first?” Jolly prompts.

“Then I choose you, Hyeong!” Nathaniel points to Jolly and the host gives him a high five.

Sun holds his chin between his forefinger and thumb as he considers the rest of us. Then he points to Heartthrob.

Nathaniel opens his arms. “Youngmin-ah, come to Hyeong!”

“Hyeong!” Youngmin runs into Nathaniel’s arms, but he’s too heavy and they topple over.

Sun’s gaze lands on me, and then slides to Hyemi. “Woo Hyemi.” Hyemi claps excitedly before rushing forward to join Sun’s team.

Jaewoo and I are the only ones left, which is perfect because now Nathaniel has only to choose Jaewoo and I’ll be on a team with Hyemi. I can watch over her throughout the rest of the recording.

“Min Sori.”

My head jerks up. Nathaniel isn’t looking at me, but at Youngmin, who’s somehow acquired three hand warmers to juggle.

“Sori-ssi,” Hearthrob calls. “Nathaniel picked you for his team.”

In a daze, I walk over to stand beside them.

The final breakdown of teams are: Sun’s team, consisting of Heartthrob, Jaewoo, and Hyemi, and Nathaniel’s team, which is Jolly, Youngmin, and myself.

With the opening part of the episode wrapped, Hyemi and I are sent into a large tent, separate from the XOXO members, to change our clothes. I sigh at all the trouble I went through to find suitable outfits, but I guess it was worth it just for that intro.

The PD knocks on the makeshift door before sticking her head in. “The episode concept is ‘student council members versus the delinquents.’ Sun’s team are the student council members and Nathaniel’s team are the delinquents. Please dress accordingly.” With that news delivered, she absconds elsewhere.

“Somehow,” I drawl, “the exact right people were picked for each team.”

Hyemi giggles.

We dress quickly, emerging to find Jaewoo and Sun already waiting, both in identical pressed uniforms and eyeglasses. Hyemi joins them, looking adorable in her knee-length skirt and ribboned necktie.

I’ve gone for the role of “Bad Girl,” which probably doesn’t help my image since I already give off those vibes, with a crooked tie, my skirt rolled at the waist, and heavy eyeliner. I’m also wearing track pants for range of motion.

Youngmin joins us, his hair mussed and his tie discarded altogether.

Then Nathaniel emerges and Youngmin falls on the ground, laughing.

“What kind of delinquent are you supposed to be, Nathaniel-ssi?” Heartthrob asks.

Nathaniel has fully embraced the role of delinquent, specifically one that gets into fights, presumably in an alley behind the school.

Jaewoo and Jolly hold each other, tears running down their cheeks. “He’s put a Band-Aid above his brow,” Jaewoo says, pointing.

“Is that... blood?” Youngmin can’t breathe. Nathaniel’s blotted red ink at the corner of his mouth.

Nathaniel turns to the center camera with a smirk, and I can already picture an editor later adding “Bad Boy” text over the video.

We record our second intros, then move to our next locations inside the main building of the school. My cameraperson walks with me up the wide steps after introducing himself. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Youngmin’s cameraperson with his hands pressed together as if pleading with him.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

My cameraperson looks over. “Ah,” he says, “the younger guests can be quite... fast.”

For this part of the game, we’re separated and brought to different areas of the school.

“Fighting!” I raise my fist to encourage Hyemi as her handler leads her away. My own handler wraps a blindfold over my eyes. As I walk, I go over the rules of the game in my head. It’s fairly straightforward. Somewhere in the school, three tokens are hidden. The team that finds the most tokens or tags out of all the members from the opposing team wins.

I try to guess where my handler is leading me, but quickly lose all sense of direction. There’s a whoosh of air as a door opens, and then I walk a few more steps before my handler releases my arm. She unties my blindfold and I blink several times before taking in my surroundings.

I’m in the cafeteria.

The sound of the school bell goes off, the light, familiar tune filling me with warmth, bringing me back to when I was a student here, sitting with my friends at these tables, laughing between classes. Then the cheerful melody ends.

At this moment in the episode, viewers will see eight separate boxes on their television screens, showing all of us at the start of the game.

Ready, set, go!