Page 17 of ASAP

I wait for Nathaniel at one of the plastic tables in front of the convenience store. A short few seconds later, the door jingles and Nathaniel reemerges with a drink in each hand. He places a glass bottle of grape juice in front of me before taking the seat opposite. With his long fingers he carefully uncurls the tin seal from his drink.

He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and joggers, his soft hair curling around his ears. His phone lights up on the table with a message from Youngmin, but he doesn’t reach for it. What is he doing back here, in my neighborhood, at my local convenience store of all places?

I thought he’d given me his answer to my offer when he left this morning without a word, and now that he’s here, all the feelings from the day come rushing back. Embarrassment, from when I thought he was avoiding me, annoyance that he hadn’t told me he was leaving, and disappointment that he was gone.

“Why did you leave this morning?” I ask.

His eyes flit to mine, his eyebrow raised slightly. “I had a meeting, so I went back to my apartment to change.”

A meeting? I frown. “But why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were still sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you. Sori, what’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Nothing. Everything’s fine. I just—” My hands circle the glass bottle. “I thought we’d have breakfast together.”

The words sound so silly as I say them aloud. It’s just breakfast.But I was looking forward to sharing it with him. I can at least be honest about that.

My hands tighten around the bottle.

I can’t look at him. He must think I’m so starved for companionship that I’d get upset over a simple meal. A lonely rich girl in her enormous mansion.

Nathaniel leans forward, tugging the bottle from between my clenched hands. Then he slides his hand into mine, so that I’m clinging on to him instead. I’m struck by the feeling of his hand in mine. During the recording for Catch Me If You Can, there were moments when we held hands, but not like this. His hands are smoother than I remember them. I slide my pointer finger down the length of his, noticing that he’s trimmed his fingernails.

“I’m sorry,” he says, after a beat. “I should have told you that I was leaving. I was going to text you, but then I got distracted. Next time, I’ll make sure to tell you if I have to go somewhere.”

Next time. I look up.

Nathaniel draws in a breath. “The meeting I had this morning was at KS Entertainment,” he says, “for a collaboration I’m doing with one of their artists. That’s also why I didn’t want to go back to the States during XOXO’s hiatus, though my parents asked me to.”

He laughs shakily, and I realize he’s... nervous. A collaboration is a big deal, and new for him, as up until now, he hasn’t pursued any solo projects outside XOXO. “There’s nothing in my contract that says I can’t work with non-Joah artists as a producer, which is what I’ll be doing.

“Honestly...”—he releases my hand to rub the back of his neck—“I’ve been a bit worried about how to get to and from KS and my apartment without starting rumors, as we want to keep the collab a secret until the release. While I was sitting out here, no one gave me a second glance. This neighborhood is so remote, and most of the people who live here seem like private people. They wouldn’t want tabloid reporters around. Even if someone recognized me, I don’t think they’d post my location or anything.”

He bites his lip, and I follow the movement. It’s so rare that I see him lacking confidence that my chest tightens. He’s trusting me with this new project that he’s unsure of but that he cares about. I want to treasure his trust, prove that I’m worthy of something so precious.

I reach out my hand, this time covering his. “I’ll look forward to it,” I say, with all the sincerity I possess.

Nathaniel stares at my hand, lying atop his. “You asked me last night, and you might have changed your mind, but...”

He lifts his gaze. “Can I stay with you, Sori? Until my hiatus is over.”

There’s no reason for him to ask me this, as I already invited him over, but I realize why he is anyway.

He’s giving me a chance to back out.

And maybe I should. I’ve felt so emotional since we’ve started talking again, it’ll only get worse, especially living together. But it doesn’t matter, because...

I want him to stay.

“Yes.”

Nathaniel’s smile turns shy, and I inexplicably blush, fidgeting in the chair.

“Should we... go up?” he asks.

I nod.

He lets go of my hand to grab our empty bottles, heading into the convenience store to recycle them. When he comes back outside, he takes my backpack, throwing it across his shoulder.

As we walk up the hill to my house, I sneak glances at him out of the corner of my eye.

I feel silly now that I know he left because of a meeting, and not because he thinks I still have feelings for him. He wouldn’t think that because I’d told him I didn’t at the karaoke room. I don’t know if it’s a product of having grown up with four older sisters, but he’s always been an excellent listener.

Same as the evening before—or, I guess, earlier this morning—Nathaniel follows me up the lit pathway to my front door. The porchlight flickers on at our approach. “We should probably set some ground rules first,” I say, stopping beneath the light.

He nods. “Okay.”

“Let’s try our best to be discreet. If we’re ever in the same place, we should make sure not to leave together.”

“Makes sense.”

“My mother can’t know you’re staying with me. To limit the chances of it getting back to her, we should try to keep it from as many people as possible. Nadine knows already.”

“What about Jaewoo and Jenny?”

I bite my lip. I don’t like the idea of keeping something from Jenny, or that I have to ask Nathaniel to keep a secret from Jaewoo, his best friend.

“You know what?” Nathaniel shakes his head. “Never mind. If we tell them, we’ll have to tell Gi Taek, Sun, and the others. It’s better if we keep it to ourselves.”

I nod, grateful that he’s taking this as seriously as I am. “If at any time either of us changes our mind, then we’ll end this arrangement, no questions asked. And you’ll need to wear a shirt at all times.”

“What?” He frowns. “Why is that a rule?”

“What if we need to wake up in the middle of the night?” I ask, reasonably. “Like, what if there’s a fire?”

“I’ll put a shirt on.”

“But that’ll take time.”

“I don’t know.” Nathaniel sounds skeptical. “This rule seems excessive.”

“You’re not allowed to come into my room either.”

Nathaniel arches a brow. “Why not?”

I gasp, scandalized. “What do you mean ‘why not’?”

He shrugs. “I’m just curious why I can’t come into your room. You can come into mine.”

“Your room is a guest bedroom, so it doesn’t have any personal effects. While mine is filled with my stuff.”

“I’m not going to steal one of your stuffed animals,” Nathaniel drawls, “if that’s what you’re afraid of. Not like you stole Bearemy Baggins.”

“I didn’t steal Bearemy and that’s not what I’m afraid of.”

Nathaniel goes very still, and I realize my mistake. “Then what are you afraid of?” My heart races. “Sori, what are these rules for?”

“They’re just... rules...”

My eyes dart to his and my breath catches at the look in his eyes. “You should be wary about setting rules with me,” he says, his voice like silk. “You know I live to break them.”

Neither of us moves, and yet somehow, he’s closer.

I can count every one of his long and impossibly thick eyelashes.

Slowly he lifts his hand, his fingers lightly skimming over the arc of my cheekbones, then trailing down the side of my face to slide behind my neck.

I shiver, my lips parting.

“Min Sori?” The front door swings open and Nathaniel’s hand drops. “What are you doing?”