Page 12 of ASAP
Nadine hasn’t yet arrived when I exit the subway station. I check my phone to see that I’m five minutes early. A few middle school students mill about the station area, recognizable by their uniforms—gray sweater vests over white shirts tucked into ankle-length skirts. A woman walks by hand in hand with a small boy wearing a Pororo backpack. There’s a little garden area, so I walk over and sit on one of the benches to wait for Nadine.
Though Sun had teased, he’d assured me after Nadine had hung up that she wasn’t angry, though how can he be sure? I would be angry if my sibling and his ex-girlfriend dragged me into their business.
“Psst, Sori!” I look at the large planter in the garden that just spoke. “Sori, over here!”
Standing, I walk around the planter to find Nadine crouched on the ground. “Nadine-eonni?”
“Hurry! Get down.” She grabs my hand and pulls me so that I’m also crouched behind the planter.
“What are we doing?” I whisper.
“See those girls?”
I look around the planter toward the exit of the subway station. “The middle school students?”
“They followed me from the university’s campus. Nothing’s more terrifying than a pack of middle schoolers.” She shudders.
Like yesterday, when I realized that I’d dragged Nadine into this mess, I’m overcome with guilt. “I’m sorry. This is my fault. I should have never involved you.”
“It’s fine. It’s actually kind of thrilling. Then again, this isn’t my daily existence, so maybe that’s why. My classmates think it’s cool that my brother is Nathaniel from XOXO. Honestly, it’s not the fans who are the problem. Nathaniel says most of them are respectful. It’s the paparazzi.”
“Still,” I say, “you wouldn’t be hiding behind a planter if I hadn’t lied and said it was you at the noraebang instead of me.”
“That reminds me, I am upset with you.”
I brace for a well-deserved dressing down. “I’ve been in Seoul for a while now, and you haven’t texted me back.”
I slowly blink at her. “What?”
“I know it’s probably awkward to hang out with your ex-boyfriend’s older sister, but I was looking forward to seeing you.”
“I’m sorry! I should have called.” When we exchanged numbers, I had every intention of meeting up with her, but when I thought about it later, I had felt awkward, remembering how embarrassed I’d been over the circumstances in which I’d left her house.
“You can make it up to me,” she says. “I have a favor to ask you.”
“Anything.”
She laughs. “Wait until I ask before you agree. You know XOXO is on a break from group activities, right?”
I nod. “Sun-oppa told me about the hiatus.”
“That’s right. It’s just that with this so-called ‘scandal’”—she puts the word scandal in air quotes—“paparazzi have started camping outside their apartment. The other members have already left to stay with their families, but Nathaniel can’t exactly go home. Or he could,but he refuses to.”
She frowns. “I’m not sure why. I think he has something he wants to stay in Seoul for, something work-related. He’s being secretive about it. It’s pretty annoying.”
Work-related? Something outside of XOXO? While Sun has his passion for acting, Nathaniel has never expressed an interest in solo activities. I’m curious and wish she’d elaborate more, but she’s already moved on.
“He’s cooped up in that apartment, all alone. He says he doesn’t mind, but I’m worried. It would be different if it was only for a few days, but it’s a couple of weeks, and I won’t be able to visit him often because of school. I’d feel better if he could leave the apartment without getting accosted, but the paparazzi follow him everywhere.”
My stomach twists in knots. What she’s describing is awful and completely true. All the other members have family in Korea, except for Nathaniel. Even his extended family lives in the United States. Unlike Sun, who would probably relish the isolation, Nathaniel isn’t like that. He’s like a puppy; he thrives on human contact. Nadine must see that I understand her completely because she reaches out to grab my hand.
“And so, I was wondering if Nathaniel could stay with you, just until the end of their vacation. That’s what—two, three weeks?”
For a moment, I just stare at her, not sure if I’ve heard her correctly. Have Nathaniel stay... with me?
“I’ve been thinking about it,” she says hurriedly, as if afraid I’ll reject the idea outright, “and it seems like the perfect solution, especially since, if I’m remembering correctly, you live in a residential area, which means there’s less likelihood of paparazzi snooping about. Nathaniel could come and go freely, and he wouldn’t be alone.”
Letting Nathaniel stay at my house seems like a terrible idea, and yet... I do owe Nadine, not just for majorly inconveniencing her life, but also for that summer when her family let me stay with them.
I’ve always wanted to do something for them, for him, in return, and this is the perfect opportunity. And it wouldn’t just be the two of us in the house, since Ajumma stays overnight every night except for the weekends. Nadine said it would only be for two, three weeks. Nathaniel and I both agreed that we’re just friends. What could possibly happen—between friends—in a few weeks?
I can’t believe I’m even entertaining the idea. I would have to lie to my mother—she would kill me if she ever found out.
“It’s a lot to ask, isn’t it?” Nadine says, reading my silence as unwillingness. “Never mind.” She pats my hand before removing hers. “Forget I brought it up. But we do need to schedule a time to hang out. Let me buy you Korean pizza with sweet potatoes and corn on it, at the very least.”
A few minutes later, as I walk her to the station to take the subway back to school, I’m surprised by the feeling stirring within me. I should feel relieved that she dropped her request, taking the decision out of my hands, and yet, for some reason, all I feel is...
Disappointment.