Page 59 of Another Love, Another Time

I nod, finish my sandwich, pick up both of our plates, and take them to the trash. Thinking about Melissa growing up, I’m not sure how she could have turned out this way, especially with the love she was shown. Some people are just evil.

~~

The rest of the day went pretty much the same.

We didn’t have a lot of time to talk about the things that we wanted to talk about.

I asked River if she wanted me to pick up some food for dinner.

She headed home and waited for me to show up with our food.

I pull into her driveway and grab the bags of food.

As I walk up to the door, she opens it to let me in.

“What do you want to drink?” River asks.

“Sweet tea,” I answer.

She walks back into the kitchen, grabs two glasses, and fills them both up with sweet tea. She walks to the kitchen table and sits down as I separate the boxes. When we are both settled, I start.

“I know you’re probably tired of talking, but there is still stuff we need to talk about.”

She nods in agreement, picks up her fork, and starts to eat. I should probably wait, but we have put this off for way too long.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes,” I go on. “I’ve taken you for granted in the past. I will never be able to fix all the stupid shit I did as a kid.

When we were younger, you told me you wanted me to date other girls, but you really meant you wanted me to choose only you, because you knew you would always choose me.

“I thought you’d always forgive me. It wasn’t important to me when I kissed her; it was just a kiss.

I thought I was finally getting her off your back, but I never should have gone there.

Every time I didn’t side with you while we were growing up, I broke your heart a little more.

I shouldn’t have lied to you about losing my virginity.

I should have told you as soon as it happened.

I could say it was because I was immature or weak, but none of it matters.

I can make up a million excuses, but I won’t because, as much as I’d like to go back and change everything, I can’t.

“Looking back, I wasn’t ready for you. I was still trying to figure everything out, and I learned the hard way when I lost you.

You deserve better. You deserve somebody to be grateful for you.

I’m not asking for forgiveness, not right now.

I’m asking for a chance to earn your forgiveness.

” She hasn’t said anything. I reach for her pinkie and squeeze.

“Please,” I beg. “I’ll get on my knees if I have to.”

“Auggie…. We were best friends. We spoke every day. I told you everything she did, but you still went along with your parents.” I’m still holding on to her pinkie. I can’t lose our connection.

“I loved you, but I know I loved you selfishly—on my terms, when it was easy. I took that for granted. When things got hard, and I had to make a choice, I was weak. I didn’t want, or I wasn’t ready, to be the partner you needed.”

“I loved you for as long as I can remember, Auggie. I came back because I thought that after all these years, you would have grown up, that you would love me the way I deserve.” She’s not pulling away, but the words she says scare me.

“You’re right. I deserve to have someone to cherish me.

I deserve to have someone tell me the truth, even if it hurts.

I deserve someone who will stand beside me and choose to fight with me and for me. ”

She swallows, bracing herself. “I just don’t know if you’re that guy, Auggie.

I really thought you would be different, but I think it got worse.

I mean, you were living with her, letting other people believe you were together.

I need someone strong, someone who will fight with me.

” She shakes her head. My heart is breaking.

She’s not going to give me another chance.

I’ve ruined it. She’s slipping away, and I don’t know what I can do to convince her.

“I can be that person.” I step forward, hand over my heart, but she’s already shaking her head.

She doesn’t believe me. I’m losing her. “I can,” I repeat.

“I feel like I’ve been sleepwalking the last five years.

I didn’t care about anything. I thought I lost you for good, but I can’t lose you now.

Please, River. Like I said, I know I don’t deserve you.

I will deserve you. I love you, and I understand what you’re asking.

I hear you loud and clear. Please don’t give up on this, on me.

I know you can still feel our connection. ”

I squeeze her pinkie again, and her eyes soften. I go on, “All I’m asking is for one more chance to be a part of your life. Please. We will take it slow, on your terms. I want to be the man you deserve, and I will be.”

She moves as if to pull away. “I don’t know. We were building our friendship back, and you lied to me again. I asked you to tell me everything, and you still lied.”

“I was so scared you’d leave me again. I had just gotten you back. I couldn’t—” I choke back a sob. “I couldn’t lose you again. Please, River. Please.” I get on my knees and grab both of her hands. “Please give me one more chance to be the man you deserve.”

She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and looks up at the ceiling. I’ll give her all the time in the world.

But when she looks back at me, I see she’s fighting to hold back tears. She pulls out of my grip, and my heart thunders.

“I don’t trust you,” she says at last. “Trust, even in friendship, is important to me. Right now, we are partners, and I think that’s all I can handle right now.

I just bought this house, and I’m still learning my job.

That’s where my focus needs to be. I think you have a lot of work to do on yourself.

You say a lot of pretty words, but your actions will speak louder.

The kind of man you want to be is up to you.

It’s up to me to decide if the man you become is someone I want to spend my life with.

I won’t ask for a transfer; we can still be partners and build a relationship on a professional basis. ”

I let loose a sigh of relief. “I’ll take it. We can start back on a professional level.”

She starts again, “I have shit I need to figure out too. My mom, the moms… I don’t know if I can handle them in my life.

They make me feel like this whole thing with Melissa is my fault.

I’m not sure how they will act….” She hesitates.

“I’m sharing this with you not as a friend, but as my partner. ” I nod.

She continues, “After our talk last night and after I got pulled into the captain’s office, I disclosed everything about my attack at prom, especially now after you told me about how Melissa threatened her ex-boyfriend’s wife.

They can’t be the only ones she’s done that too.

She’s not getting away with it anymore. I told him that I had information from a guy who may have been involved in my attack and was willing to come forward if he was given immunity and anonymity.

“I would never out JD, but if I can protect him from the fallout, then I think we can finally put her behind bars. I also want you to follow up with your old partner to see what her story is.” She’s silent for a minute before she continues, “I just don’t know how that will affect the family.

It will most likely divide everyone, and I’ll understand if you stand with your family. ”

“No, River. I stand with you. I’m on your side. Let me know what you need, and I’ll do it.” I can tell she doesn’t believe me.

“I don’t need anything right now. I just thought I’d give you a heads-up because shit’s about to hit the fan.”