Page 28 of Another Love, Another Time

Auggie

It’s been two weeks since prom, two weeks since River was attacked, two weeks since I’ve spoken to River.

This is the longest we have ever gone without talking.

I’ve been stalking her Facebook page, but she hasn’t been online.

She hasn’t posted. I stayed at the hospital, hoping and waiting for her to let me go see her.

One of the hardest conversations I had was with her dad, knowing I wasn’t there to protect his little girl.

After her dad cooled down from the initial shock of seeing River lying in that hospital bed, which I still hadn’t been able to see, he asked to speak with me.

He wanted to know my side of the story. I was truthful, but asked him not to tell River about Melissa.

I asked him if he would speak with her and give me a chance to see her.

Just once. If anyone could talk her into letting me see her, it was her dad.

Later that day, he came out and told me she agreed to see me.

They were allowing more than one visitor in now.

Uncle Kendall walked me back to her room.

My hands started sweating as we got closer.

Before we reached her door, he stopped me.

“She looks really bad, Auggie. You have to stay strong. Okay, buddy?”

“Okay. I’ll try.” I shook my hands as if to cast away my stress. I knew I had to hold my panic in.

He opened the door, and I got my first glance of her. I held in my gasp and stood there, stock still.

Uncle Kendall whispered in my ear, “Remember, you have to stay strong.” And then, in his regular voice, he addressed her, “Hey, baby girl. I’m here if you need me, okay? Auggie’s in here.”

She nodded. Then, he walked out and shut the door to give us privacy.

River and I stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

Both of her eyes were still swollen shut.

She had a neck brace on. The left side of her face looked swollen, and she had a busted lip. Her arms were lined with bruises.

I finally shook myself out of my haze and walked over to her. I moved to grab her hand. I needed to touch her and hug her, tell her how sorry I am. But she pulled back from my grasp. My heart ached. Her dad said she didn’t blame me, but why is she doing this? I needed to find out.

I started, “I’m so sorry, River. I should have been there with you. I’ll never forgive myself. Please tell me how I can fix this.”

She cut me off by holding up a hand. Her gaze was piercing when she said, “I just need the truth.”

“Okay,” I said slowly.

And then, she asked for the one thing for which I couldn’t give a truthful answer. “Where were you?” She didn’t need to give any more detail than that. I knew what she was implying.

I couldn’t tell her. It would hurt her even worse, so I lied for her own good. “I realized I had to go to the bathroom after you went in, so I decided—”

“Get out,” she hissed in a low, steady voice.

“What?” I was confused. I just got in; I needed to see her. I needed to show that I was sorry.

“You heard me,” she said a little be louder. “Get out!” she yelled it loud enough that her dad heard.

He stormed back in, and without another word, he dragged me out of her room.

I fought to stay in there, wriggling against his grip. “What did I say? Please, let me stay. Please. I need to see you. Please.” I started bawling. I’ve always been River’s go-to person. Why was she shutting me out?

When her dad wrestled me into the waiting room and I calmed down, he let me go.

“Sorry, son. You know I love you like you’re my own kid, but I can’t go against her wishes.

” He held his hand up. “All she’s said is she doesn’t blame you for her attack.

She didn’t want you to see her like that.

Maybe it was a little much for her. Just give her time.

She’ll come around. She always does with you.

” And then, he turned around and walked back toward her room.

She refused to see me for the remainder of the time she was in Hannibal. The doctors kept her another two days before they released her, and then she went home with her mom and dad.

I’ve tried to call her phone, and it goes straight to voicemail. My parents have asked me to give her time. They told me she wasn’t raped, that she fought and got away before he could rape her. I’m so proud of her for making it through, and so relieved. What she went through was traumatic.

I’ve asked around for information about the guy who hurt her.

The last thing everyone saw was me walking her to the bathroom, and then I disappeared.

River confirmed to the police that I was not her attacker, but I did have to tell the police who I was with.

Whoever thought I would need an alibi? Melissa loved that.

Let’s hope River doesn’t read the police reports.

~~

Today is graduation, and I don’t feel like going. I’m just going through the motions. I’m only going today for my parents; I couldn't care less at this point, but they deserve to see me walk across that stage.

River should be graduating too, but who knows if she will. She didn’t go to her prom. My mom called and asked if she still wanted to go, but she said no. Not that I figured she would.

Logan is dragging me to an after-graduation party. I’m not in the mood, but it will be the last time I’m able to hang out with all my friends before we head to college.

Speaking of college, River is avoiding me now, but she can’t avoid me forever. We will be going to the same school at the end of August. I’ll get her to talk to me if she starts before then.

I’m sitting on my bed. I grab my bag, still full of my prom clothes.

Logan dropped it off last week, but I haven’t really gotten the gumption to unpack everything.

I unzip it and see my tux jacket. I pull it out and lay it on my bed.

When I do, something falls out of my inner pocket.

I look down and see River’s clutch. I had been holding it when she went to the bathroom.

I open her clutch, and both her phone and a piece of paper fall out. My name is written on the piece of paper. I already know that what’s written on it will destroy me. I take a deep breath and face my punishment.

Auggie,

I know I said I wanted to wait until we were older, but I realize that sometimes you know, you know?

God, I’m going to sound so cheesy, but who cares?

I wish I could say this all out loud, but I thought it would be better if I wrote it down.

I’ve written everything I want to say, so I won’t forget anything.

I’m guessing you are asking, “Why did you change your mind?”

I recently talked to someone who told me to quit wasting time.

“We aren’t promised tomorrow.” That one sentence changed everything for me.

She asked me what I would regret if I knew I wouldn’t wake up tomorrow.

My answer: I would regret being so scared to have a relationship rather than a friendship with you.

I would be scared that I wouldn’t be enough for you for the rest of our lives.

That eventually, you would realize that I’m not who you truly want.

So, I’m asking you to be my boyfriend. I was going to write, “Check: yes or no.” Told you this was cheesy, but instead, I made you a boyfriend bracelet. It’s better than a friendship bracelet because it means you get to kiss me anytime you want.

I don’t want to force this on you. If you don’t want the same thing, I will be okay.

You are my best friend, and I always want you to be in my life.

You may not be ready. That’s okay. I just want you to know I am.

When and if you are ready, all you have to do is put the boyfriend bracelet on, and I guess you’ll be my boyfriend. Now, don’t make this awkward.

Love,

your River

When I finish the letter, my heart’s in a thousand pieces.

My phone dings with a text notification. I almost don’t look, but I do. Just when I don’t think my heart is already shattered beyond repair, it breaks further with the two texts I see.

Logan: River knows about Melissa on prom night.

A second later, the last bomb drops.

Logan: Oh shit. Have you looked at her Facebook page?

I can’t think about his first comment, so I skip to his second one. I drop my phone in my haste. I finally manage to open Facebook and search for her name, but nothing comes up. Logan doesn’t have to clarify whose Facebook it is. River must have blocked me.

Auggie: She’s not pulling up for me. Send me a screenshot.

I finally get the screenshot, and standing there in the middle of two soldiers, who I’m assuming are recruiters, is River in her cap and gown. Her eyes are no longer swollen, but you can still see the yellowish bruising around them.

I’m gasping for air. I’m confused. I don’t know what this means.

Logan’s next text takes what was left of my heart.

Logan: Sorry, man. She’s gone. She left for boot camp right after her graduation today.