Page 34 of Another Love, Another Time

River

I’m so nervous about tonight. Mackey has good intentions, but I’m not sure. Everyone seems cool, but work conversations are one thing. Conversations outside of work are another. We did stuff like this when I was in the Army, but Auggie will be here tonight.

We haven’t hung out in a while like this.

A lot of the guys will have their significant others with them.

I wonder if Auggie will bring his girlfriend.

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it through that.

I’m married, but I think it will always be hard to see him with a partner.

I’m sure it will be hard for him to see me with Baxter.

At least if he cares about me. Or maybe he doesn’t. I’ve been avoiding the subject. It took a lot for me to move here. Out of sight, out of mind— Well, at least when I was busy. If I don’t see him with anyone else, I can continue to pretend he’s single.

I’ve changed my outfit several times. I’ve settled on a trucker t-shirt, cut-off jean shorts, my red Chucks, and a hat I’ve thrown over hair I spent thirty minutes curling. Very light makeup accentuates my features. I don’t need any of the women to think I’m trying to lure their man in.

It might get a little chilly tonight, so I have a flannel tied around my waist for later.

If I remember correctly, it’s one of Auggie’s old ones.

I hope he doesn’t notice. It’s one of the few things I took with me when I joined the Army that used to bring me comfort.

I hope it can do the same for me tonight.

I hear my phone chime.

Auggie: Don’t you dare chicken out.

He still knows me so well, even after all this time. We exchanged numbers earlier this week. Most of our exchanges have been work-related, but after today, I could feel some of my walls coming down.

We need to talk. We didn’t talk after my attack, and there has to be more to the story. I just don’t know how I will take his reaction, and that’s what is causing my resistance. I might just have to bite the bullet.

I’m running a little late, but I don’t want to be the first one there.

River: Don’t worry. This chicken will be there in about fifteen minutes.

Auggie: Just making sure. See ya when you get here.

I guess it’s time to pull up my big girl pants and get on with tonight.

~~

When I pull up about thirty minutes late, almost everyone is already here.

There are a lot more people than I expected.

I brought my own beer and made some pasta salad.

I get out of the vehicle, grab my stuff, and walk up to the front porch.

I have to adjust everything in my arms so that I can knock, but then the door swings open to reveal Mackey’s smiling face. It’s contagious. I’m smiling back.

“I told you not to bring anything,” he says while grabbing the pasta salad. “Come on in. Everyone is out back. I’ll add this to the table. We waited to eat. Hunt said that you would be about fifteen minutes late.”

“Sorry.”

“No problem. I’ve been grazing for the past hour. It’s these other people you’re going to have to worry about.” He chuckles.

“Where can I put my beer?” I ask while following him.

“You can put it in the fridge. Nobody will touch it.”

I walk to the fridge, grab one of the beers, and find space to slide in my six-pack.

“Oh, wow. You’re a Natty girl?”

“Sure am.” I point at him. “I don’t want to hear anything. I like it.”

He holds his hands up. “I didn’t say anything. I like a Natty girl.” He winks at me. “Let’s go outside and get you introduced.”

I take a big swig of my beer. “Let’s get this over with.”

I slide the glass door and step out. My eyes immediately search for Auggie.

He’s talking to a few guys that I recognize.

Mack grabs my arm, and we start heading in the direction of the group around the fire.

As we walk up, one of the guys turns, and they do a special handshake.

“Hey, Turner. I’m not sure if you’ve met Baxter yet.

She just started this week. She’s Hunt’s new partner. ”

The guy’s eyes bug out. “Does psycho know Hunt has a female partner?” Everyone around the fire laughs. I’m not sure who Auggie is with, but she doesn’t sound pleasant. By their reaction, I’m guessing she isn’t here.

“She doesn’t, but I’m sure she will before the night is over.

” Mackey looks over to a group of girls sitting on his patio furniture.

All of them are staring our way. I turn my back on them.

I don’t want to get involved in any drama.

Mackey leans down and whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry.

She’s not allowed at my house. I’ve made it very clear.

” I shake my head. I don’t even want to hear about it.

Everyone introduces themselves to me, and they’re curious about my background and how I got this position.

Mackey asks me about my husband and if he’s coming.

I explain that he is still in the Army, that he is currently stationed in Germany.

They are all surprised I am married and can’t believe that we have always lived apart.

I am used to it. We always try to see each other as much as we can.

Auggie has made his way over to our group.

He’s not standing right next to me, but he’s embedded himself in our conversation, and he’s slowly been maneuvering himself closer to me.

I hear his phone chime repeatedly. He glances at it every few minutes.

His jaw clenches every time he looks at the screen.

Mackey calls him out, “You need to answer that before she just shows up here and starts something. Then, we’ll have to haul her ass in. I’m not saving her ass this time.”

Holy crap. What did this girl do? I can tell Auggie is irritated. Why would he be with someone like that? I just don’t get it. He’s been stupid in the past when it comes to girls, but why would he put up with that?

He walks away from the group and goes inside. I don’t realize I’ve watched him this whole time until Mackey leans down again. “It’s not what you’re thinking,” he states.

He’s caught me off guard. I think Mackey’s the only one who knows that Auggie and I have a history.

“I don’t think that matters,” I respond.

“If you remember, I’m married.” Mackey gives me a knowing look.

I raise my beer and take a drink to avoid or delay this conversation, and realize my bottle is empty.

“I need another beer; do you want me to get you one, Mack?”

“Yes, please. Why don’t you go ahead and get yourself something to eat while you’re at it?”

I appreciate him letting me off the hook. He turns to the group to join in their conversation.

I walk back into the house, grab a plate, and start to fill my plate. I wasn’t hungry earlier, but when I smell all this food, I realize I’m hungrier than I thought.

I grab some food and water and sit down at his kitchen table. I need to pace myself. I don’t need to embarrass myself by getting drunk.

Someone’s talking down the hall. I assume it’s Auggie.

I really don’t want to hear him talk to his girlfriend.

That takes me back to what Mackey said about it not being what I thought.

I don’t think that’s right. Everyone says he has a girlfriend.

Why would I care? “Oh, that’s right,” I think. “You’re married. River.”

Auggie walks down the hall, spots me, and stops in his tracks. “Hey. Sorry about that,” he says.

“Why are you apologizing?” My brow furrows.

“To be honest, I’m not even sure.” He pulls out a chair, sits down, grabs a chip, and dunks it in the corn dip.

“Hey!” I pull the bowl of corn dip toward myself protectively. “Get your own!”

“Why?” he asks through a mouthful. “You always used to share with me.”

“Well, then you need to go get more so you can share with me.” I take another chip and talk around it, “I don’t know who made this, but I definitely need the recipe.”

He gives me his big, goofy smile. “I did. I can give you the recipe. It’s one of my mom’s and my favorites.”

“You made this?” I’m shocked. “Quick. Grab the bowl, and let’s go!” He goes to stand up, and I grab his arm. A zing of excitement shoots through my body. I let go quickly.

“I’m just kidding. Sit back down.”

I look at him, and for a moment, I see disappointment. He quickly masks it. I ask, “Hey, are you okay? You want to talk about it?”

He’s now staring off behind me. I give him time to put his thoughts together.

“Do you ever wake up and wonder how you got here?”

“I’m not entirely sure what the question is.” I take a deep breath, thinking. “But if you are asking if I ever wake up and question my choices, then yes.”

His gaze focuses on me. “Do you ever regret any of the decisions you’ve made?”

“Sure, but I’m also grateful for those moments, too.

Every decision, every regret, every win has brought me to this exact time.

It has made me into the person sitting in front of you.

I’m proud of this person. I’ve fought like hell to be her, and I know at any time, I can change the ending of my story.

But I don’t think I would ever change anything. ”

“I’m proud of you, River.”

“I’m proud of you, too.”

“Are you?”

“When have you known me to be a liar? I am proud of you. I know you worked hard to get in the position you’re in.

He grins, but it seems different. Nostalgic, maybe. “Thanks.”

“Do you need to talk about the other thing?”

He shakes his head. “Not right now. You need another beer? What’s with the water?”

“I have to pace myself. I have to drive myself home tonight.” I push at his shoulder. The contact makes my stomach flip. Note to self: stop touching Auggie.

“I could always drive you home.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate that.”

He releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t really—”

I cut him off. “Auggie, we don’t have to discuss it.

I won’t need a ride home. I’m not very far from here, anyway.

” I want to change the subject. I can’t talk to him about his girlfriend.

I’m just glad she is not here tonight. I continue, “I talked to Logan today. He said he’d be here for your mom’s barbecue tomorrow. ”

He looks at me with surprise written on his face.

“You talk to Logan?” His tone comes off a little irritated.

“Yeah,” I respond slowly. I don’t know if I just said something that I shouldn’t have.

“How long?” I look at him, not responding, because I don’t know how to. “How long, River? Since you’ve been back, or did you never stop speaking with him?”

I get it now. I look down at my feet. “I never stopped,” I say in a whisper.

“So, it was just me that you cut out?” Before I can respond, he pushes himself out of his chair, walks to the slider, opens it, and turns back to snap, “I’m glad to know it was just me that you wanted out of your life.”

Before I can stop myself, I retort, “Well, excuse me for not wanting to talk to someone I didn’t trust.”

What the hell happened? Did Logan never tell him he spoke with me? I thought we were having a good conversation. Why the hell would he be mad at me?