Page 27 of Another Love, Another Time

Auggie and I always said that we would go to our senior prom together.

He would go to mine, and I would go to his.

He was seeing a girl earlier during our senior year, but he broke it off a few months ago.

I was kind of hurt, but I couldn’t really say anything.

I had been clear that I thought we should remain friends.

I wanted him to have the full senior experience.

I tried to give him an out. He had a lot of girls who were dying for him to ask them.

His prom is this weekend, and my prom is next weekend.

His parents decided to just buy him a tux instead of renting since he would be wearing the same one to both proms, just like I would be wearing the same dress to both.

My parents aren’t poor by any means, but that doesn’t mean that they will just shell out money for two dresses that I would only wear once.

I love my dress, though. It’s made of blue tulle, long and flowy, and it makes me feel like a princess. It brings out my blue eyes, too. It shows a little cleavage.

I’m going to get my hair curled to look wavy, maybe pull a little up to keep it out of my face.

I’ll have a natural look for my makeup. I have heels to go with my dress.

I don’t usually wear them this high, but if my feet are in too much pain, I’ll just take them off. I really want to look good for Auggie.

Tonight, I’m going to tell Auggie that I changed my mind, and I finally want to be more than friends.

We have less than a month of school, and I can come up and see him a ton this summer.

He has to head to college early for baseball training, but we could spend a lot of time together beforehand.

Before, we didn’t want to be together because of the distance, but with us both going to the same college, there will be no reason to be separate.

We all decided to go to Mizzou. That was the only school that offered all three of us a full ride, and we will be close to our parents.

The only thing that sucks about going to Mizzou is that Melissa got in too.

Auggie keeps telling me it’s a big school, that we’ll probably never run into her, but after this summer, I highly doubt that.

I have a corny note in my clutch asking him to be my boyfriend. I also have a new friendship/boyfriend bracelet. He told me last week that the last one I made him broke, and he needs another one.

We only have a few weeks left of high school before we both graduate. Auggie has had all my firsts. My first kiss. First oral. And we lost our virginity together. I knew he would make it special for me, and he did.

I’m second-guessing myself as I think about giving him my dating proposal.

What if he changed his mind? He has gone out with other girls.

Heck, I encouraged him. When we are together in college, I will need to know he doesn’t question his decision.

I knew it would be hard to see him with other girls, but I did it so I wouldn’t lose my best friend.

At least he will know what I want. We don’t keep secrets from one another.

~~

I arrived at Aunt Connie and Uncle Eddie’s house last night.

My parents let me leave school a little bit early so I wouldn’t get in too late.

Today, I went with a few girls to get my hair, makeup, and nails done for tonight.

Melissa will join our group later. I’m just grateful that she didn’t show up today.

I’ve met some of these girls before while visiting Auggie, especially at parties. During those parties, Auggie never left my side. He knows I hate to be alone with people I don’t know. Even if one of us had to go to the bathroom, we always went with each other.

The girls are all really nice, and we talk about who is going with whom and what their dresses look like. They talk about the theme, which is “enchanted garden.” It sounds like it will be really pretty.

We meet at Logan’s house for pictures. Aunt Jessica and Aunt Connie are fussing over me. My parents couldn’t make it this week. They have something going on for my brother. My mom knew I would be in good hands.

I feel like I’m in a romcom when I walk into the room and Auggie sees me put together for the first time. He meets my gaze, and it feels like we are the only ones in the room until I hear the other boys hoot and holler.

He walks over to me, grabs me, and kisses my forehead. “You look so beautiful, River.”

I return his statement with a shy smile. He’s said that before, but just then, I get butterflies.

“Okay, kiddos. Let’s get these pictures over with,” Aunt Jess orders.

We took a crap-ton of pictures. Individuals, couples, girls, boys, groups, funny, serious—you get the point. My cheeks hurt so bad from the constant smiling.

Logan’s date is a cutie. I’d never met her before; she wasn’t from their school either.

I’m not sure what happened to his girlfriend from this summer.

He had told me they broke up at the beginning of school, but he didn’t go into much detail.

I know Gracie and her boyfriend. Melissa is there with her date.

He looks familiar, but I can’t recall. They both keep looking at Auggie and me. It gives me an uneasy feeling.

Auggie finally has to cut his mom off, or we are going to be late for our dinner reservations. They rented a party bus to take us to the restaurant and to prom. As we start walking towards the bus, Auggie grabs my pinkie. “Don’t be nervous,” he says. “I’ll be by your side the whole night.”

I squeeze his pinkie back, appreciating his reassurance.

~~

We have been at the dance for at least an hour when I realize I need to go to the bathroom.

Auggie and I excuse ourselves from the group, and he walks me to the restrooms. He waits outside while I go in.

I hand him my clutch that carries my phone, the new friendship bracelet, and my note.

I plan on giving it to him later tonight, along with my letter.

I do my business, wash my hands, and check my makeup.

Everything still looks good, even though I have been sweating my butt off.

I walk out of the bathroom expecting to see Auggie, but he is nowhere to be found. I look both ways down the hallway, but I don’t see anyone. He has never left me alone. I start to panic until I hear giggling. I walk closer to the muffled sounds. My heart starts to race.

There’s another hallway. Two figures are standing close to one another. I recognize the girl’s dress. It’s Melissa. Who could she be with? That guy doesn’t look like her date.

They rotate as the guy pushes her against the wall, and I hear her moan. Then I see it. It’s Auggie kissing her.

My heart breaks into millions of pieces.

I can’t breathe. When did this start? Why hasn’t he told me?

I slowly start backing up, trying to be quiet. I have to leave. Clearly, I’m the one he wants to be here with. I had asked him if he wanted to go with someone else. He said “no,” that he only wanted to come with me.

I continue to back up until I hit what seems to be a wall. I turn around and realize it’s a guy. He’s holding me now. I turn to step out of his embrace, but he has me by the waist.

“Woah, where are you going?” he asks huskily. All I want to do is throw up.

“I need to get back to the dance,” I respond, trying to remain calm.

I try to pull out of his grasp and realize I’m back at the bathrooms. I can hear the music coming from the dance, but he doesn’t let go.

He covers my mouth, keeping me from screaming for help.

I try like hell to get back into the ballroom.

I pray someone comes out to go to the bathroom.

Neither happens. He pulls me into an empty room. I’m kicking and screaming, but nothing is working.

“You know you want this. I see the way you’ve been watching me all night.” He moves his hand from my mouth.

“Are you delusional?” I snap. “I didn’t even know who you are.” I go to dart around him, but he’s too quick. He pins me to a table and tries to cup my crotch. I bring my knee into his groin as hard as I can.

“You little bitch!” he shouts.

I think I have a second to get away, but again, he is too fast. He catches me by my hair and pulls me back. He slams my face into the table. I scream out in pain.

He brings his mouth to my ear. “I have waited all night to get you alone. I knew I would get my chance. I know you want this too; she told me you wanted this. She told me you would try to fight, but you like it rough.”

Before I can process who she is, he reaches around and squeezes my breast. Bile rises in my throat. At the same time, I try to think and stay calm. Freaking out is not going to get me out of this mess. My nose is bleeding, and I can feel my left eye swelling.

I wrestled in sixth and seventh grade, so I can try to get out of this hold.

The first thing I do is swing my head back and connect it with his face.

It connects, but it is not enough to get him to loosen his hold.

I use a reversal stance and try to twist out.

He’s at my back. My hands cover his on my waist. While I twist, I use my hands to break his grip.

I get away, but he grabs me by the shoulder this time and pulls me to the ground. He quickly covers me with his body.

“Oh my god. This is going to happen. He is going to rape me,” I think, panicked.

He holds me down with his body weight and puts pressure on my chest with his forearm. He uses his other hand to lift my dress up and rip my underwear off my body.

“I can’t let this happen.” I start to scream for help. I have to fight.

He still hasn’t started on his pants. I search for anything I can grab to hit him. I don’t see anything. The only thing I can reach right now is one of my shoes that must have fallen off during the struggle.

He will have to change his position to get his pants down. I take advantage of this, grabbing my shoe and hitting him with the heel. A thought comes to me of the Converse I was going to wear, and I’m so thankful Aunt Connie talked me out of wearing them.

My memory is interrupted when his fist connects with my face. I lose the shoe. I blink away tears and the swarming darkness of my vision.

He’s readjusting himself. I can’t stop fighting. This time, I push off the ground with my legs into a bridge and twist over to the front. He responds, telling me this is his favorite position.

Both of my eyes are swelling, leaving me almost blind. He has my dress lifted up so my backside is showing. He has his pants down.

I only have one more shot before it’s over with. I pray to God for a way out of this. He moves to shove his underwear down. At the same time, I use all the strength I have to propel my body up and forward. I’m on all fours now. I lift one leg up, using my foot to stand and twist away from him.

I get away from him, and I scream for my life. I’m at the door.

His pants are down to his ankles, so he is having a hard time getting to me now. I don’t waste any time looking back. I shove the door open.

I scream again and run as fast as I can. I get a short way down the hall before I trip.

He’s right behind me. He grabs my ankle and starts to drag me back into the room, but I continue to scream for help.

A blur moves down the hallway. I scream louder. A few people are heading in my direction, yelling, “What’s going on?”

The guy drops my ankle, and he’s gone. The hallway lights brighten. Something drapes over me, covering me up. My eyes are swollen shut now. My head is pounding. Blood still steams from my nose.

I’m sobbing now. All I think is, “He didn’t rape me. He didn’t fucking rape me.” I was lucky. I don’t know how long I lay there. I’m shaking. I know my body is in shock.

The crowd moves to the side to let the paramedics in. Someone must have called 911, or they must have been on-site.

I hear Auggie say my name. He falls to my side; I hear him crying too. The paramedics try to get him to stay back, but he doesn’t back down. He goes to grab my hand, and I pull away with all the strength I have left.

“River, let me help you,” he says.

The paramedics have me on the board and are lifting me. I turn to Auggie, and in a steady voice, I murmur, “I needed you, Auggie. I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

Then, the paramedics transfer me to the stretcher and roll me away with Auggie chasing after me. “I’m sorry, Riv! I’m so sorry! Who did this?”

We make it to the ambulance, and he tries to get in with us. “Riv, I’m going,” he says sternly.

The paramedic asks if I want him to go, and I shake my head. I had put all my trust in Auggie, that he would keep me safe, and he failed me. I don’t tell him I saw him with Melissa. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for this.

They push him back and shut the door. Then, we are speeding towards the hospital. I close my eyes and thank God that he didn’t rape me.