Page 47 of All Wrapped Up

When Ash called late that evening to ask how my trip to the café had gone, I took him through all that had been said and after he’d warmly admired me for managing it, I was then eager to tell him the details of the conversation I’d had with Jason in the pub.

‘And you’ll never guess who I then ran into in The Mermaid.’ I knew it was highly probable that I sounded astounded, but that was because I still was.

‘Go on.’

‘Jason.’

‘Oh, no, Clemmie,’ Ash groaned. ‘He was the last person you needed to see after what you’d just been through. I hope he didn’t upset you.’

‘No, he didn’t,’ I was delighted to be able to say. ‘Far from it, in fact.’

‘What?’ Ash asked, no doubt assuming he’d misheard.

It was then that I took a check on myself. Given that I was full of hope that no one was going to be gossiping about me in the coming days, it would have been highly hypocritical of me to tell Ash all that Jason had shared.

‘What did he say, Clemmie?’ Ash asked.

‘He…’ I falteringly began as I quickly changed tack, ‘he told me in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t the person who took the ballot box.’

‘No way!’ Ash gasped, echoing my response. ‘Do you think he was telling the truth?’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘No doubt about it.’

‘Well, I never. So, if it wasn’t him, then who was it?’

‘I’ve no idea and I daresay we’ll never find out now.’

‘But even if it wasn’t him,’ clearly Ash couldn’t quite believe that Jason wasn’t the culprit, ‘I daresay he’s still got some mischief up his sleeve. Did he hint at what he has in store for the rest of the festival?’

‘Funnily enough, nothing bad, because he’s turned over a new leaf.’

It didn’t escape my attention that I’d recently said the same thing about Joanne and it had immediately come back to bite me! I hoped the same thing wasn’t going to happen with Jason.

‘Of course he has,’ Ash guffawed.

‘No, really,’ I told him while hoping I was right. ‘I mean it. He has. He’s full of regret for his former behaviour now and is going to embrace the festival and even take part.’

‘You’re having me on!’ Ash spluttered. ‘You’re joking, surely?’

‘No,’ I said earnestly. ‘I’m being deadly serious. He’s determined to make amends.’

I could hardly express any doubt when Jason had done nothing to warrant it.

‘What else did he say?’ Ash asked, sounding suspicious.

‘Quite a lot about his private life which almost justified his previous behaviour,’ I said. ‘But nothing he would want me to share.’

It was more than sad to think that Jason’s life had been shaped by a tragedy that occurred in his twenties. In spite of the many decades that had passed since then, I could tell he still felt the impact of it as keenly as if it had happened as recently as the week before.

I thanked my lucky stars that I had been able to process and assimilate my grief and, while I would always live with it, I felt truly blessed to have come so far.

Mine and Jason’s lives had echoed each other’s in their early days, but I had already taken a different path to the solo one he had, until literally just hours ago, continued to walk.

‘It sounds to me like you had a proper heart to heart,’ Ash said, sounding amazed.

‘We did,’ I confirmed. ‘And knowing how difficult my conversation with Lizzie and Jemma had been, I can imagine it was doubly hard for Jason.’

‘I see,’ Ash pondered and I could tell he was puzzled, but he didn’t ask for more details. ‘It’s very kind of you to keep what he said to you to yourself, but then I wouldn’t expect anything less of you, Clem.’

Those words made me glow.

‘That’s kind,’ I smiled.

‘And let’s hope,’ he then said, ‘that when the paper is published on Friday, that everyone else is as respectful of your privacy as you are of Jason’s.’

‘Time will tell.’

‘It certainly will.’

I didn’t tell Ash that Jason had said Callum wouldn’t be featured in the article, in case for some reason his nephew had a change of heart and included the details after all.

‘Right then,’ I said instead, ‘I’d better go. There’s a little hound here clamouring for my full and undivided attention.’

‘All right,’ said Ash, ‘give her a fuss from me and I’ll see you Friday. I’ll pick a paper up early and drop it round.’

‘That would save me a trip, thank you. We’ll see you then.’

‘See you Friday.’

Having given Lizzie, Jemma and, most significantly, Joanne the go-ahead to disclose my online identity, I didn’t have to wait until Friday to find out if the AutumnEverything revelation was going to have an impact, because those locals who knew me or followed the account, or both, made themselves digitally known to me from early Thursday morning.

I never kept my phone close to hand, but as I pottered about in the cottage, played with Pixie and tidied up my breakfast things, I could hear it pinging away in the next room and when I eventually picked it up, I could immediately see I’d had a flurry of new followers, a dozen or so messages and lots of new comments on my most recent posts.

I only had to read the opening words of a couple of the messages to know that people had been looking me up online and that those who had, were now privy to my past.

‘I don’t suppose it matters what’s printed in the paper now, does it, Pixie?’ I shrugged as I set the phone aside and picked her up.

I sat with her on my lap and had a think.

In the time before I had taken the festival on and ventured into Wynbridge, I had imagined that being outed online would be a huge calamity and that my anxiety would soar to its former heights as a result, but I discovered that wasn’t the case.

This time around felt different. I had taken an active part in what was happening.

I was in a much stronger headspace and consequently, more in control of what I read and responded to and, with that in mind, I carefully composed a post and pinned it.

I thanked everyone for following AutumnEverything, and for their kind words about Callum and their suggestions as to how I could cope.

I then explained that I wouldn’t be interacting with anyone directly – irrespective of whether they were new or old followers – as so many people had been in touch, and said that I hoped they would all understand.

That was as much as I was willing to do.

I would now continue to run the account in the way I always had – without showing my face, Pixie’s face, or making any reference to exactly where I lived.

Some locals would know that Rowan Cottage was my home, but I hoped they would be respectful enough not to impose.

I felt proud of how I was handling the situation, right up until Mum and Dad video-called and I realised it would have been useful to keep them in the loop before word had got out.

‘Clemmie!’ Mum practically shouted when I answered. ‘What’s this post you’ve just pinned to the top of your account?’

‘Yes,’ said Dad, as he also wrestled into view. ‘Have you pinned it or have you been hacked?’

‘It was me,’ I told them quickly. ‘It’s all fine. I haven’t been hacked.’

‘But this post,’ Dad frowned, ‘it says an awful lot considering we thought you wanted to keep AutumnEverything anonymous.’

‘I did want to keep it anonymous,’ I confirmed, ‘but someone who visited me at the cottage recognised a jug of flowers I posted and let it slip that I was the account owner.’

‘How mean of someone to do that,’ Mum tutted.

‘They didn’t intend to be mean,’ I corrected her, thinking of how forlorn Joanne had been when she’d realised what she’d done. ‘They just didn’t think, but as the news was out and people were already commenting, I thought I should say something.’

‘I bet you’re being inundated with messages, aren’t you?’ Dad groaned.

‘It’s fine,’ I said calmly. ‘You know I’ve been down this road before and therefore I’m handling it differently this time. Hence the pinned post. I’m not going to be privately messaging well-meaning strangers this time around.’

Mum and Dad hadn’t been privy to the full extent of it, but I recalled how I’d spent literally hours reading every single comment and message I’d received on the previous account, how harrowing it had been and how I had taken it all in.

I knew there was every possibility that even more messages were going to pour in now that both new and old followers discovered my identity, but I had no intention of getting sucked into the maelstrom again. Not now I’d so healthily moved on.

‘Well, that’s good.’ Dad nodded.

‘I always worry that people will think it’s rude if you don’t respond,’ said Mum, ‘but knowing what happened before, I’m pleased you’ve taken action and you’ve worded the post so well, if anyone takes offence, it won’t be your fault, will it?’

I was surprised to realise that Mum was more aware than I had known that I had spared her and Dad the worst of it before.

‘It certainly won’t,’ I agreed.

‘Well,’ said Dad, looking happier, ‘you do sound like you’ve got a handle on it.’

‘I have,’ I told him. ‘And I’m determined to carry on with the account in the same way that I’ve always run it.’

Mum and Dad were both happier when we ended the call and when Ash arrived the next morning with a newspaper hot off the press, I was already feeling content but the feeling was further compounded by the article.

‘I am right, aren’t I?’ Ash asked, as he peered over my shoulder. ‘That is it? It’s just that little bit there?’

He leant around me to run his finger along a line of print under one of the photos. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘that’s all I can find, anyway.’

I turned around to look at him and he was standing so close, my nose practically met his chest.

‘Sorry,’ he said, taking a step back.

I turned back to the paper and scanned the page again, just to be sure.

The main photograph was of Ash and I standing with the three shopkeepers who had won the ‘Best Dressed Window’ awards as decided by us, and there was a much smaller one of me with the words – Clemmie Bennett, Festival Organiser and curator of popular Insta account, @AutumnEverything .