Page 31 of All Wrapped Up

‘But whenever have you found the time?’ I asked, feeling all kinds of emotional. ‘You’ve just said you’ve been rushed off your feet at work this week.’

He looked at me and I looked at him.

‘Well, I like to keep busy,’ he said croakily. ‘Especially if it helps out a… friend.’

I didn’t know what else to say. The kind gesture and all the effort Ash had gone to felt above and way beyond what you’d do for your oldest friend, let alone a relatively new one.

But then, I reasoned, it had been such a long time since I’d had a true friend, I had probably forgotten what went into nurturing this sort of relationship. I needed to up my game.

‘More than helps me out,’ I said, as a van pulled up behind Ash’s truck and Pixie started to bark. ‘Thank you, Ash. Thank you so much.’

‘Is this Rowan Cottage?’ the driver shouted.

‘Yes,’ I called back. ‘Yes, it is.’

‘I’ve got a delivery for you, love.’

I had no idea what it was, because I hadn’t ordered anything.

‘It’s heavy. Where do you want it?’

‘This will be the food I’ve ordered to go with the feeders,’ Ash said to me. ‘Some of it’s come from a farm on the coast near Wynmouth. Hold on,’ he called to the driver, ‘and I’ll give you a hand.’

It took a while to carry the boxes to the shed, decant the contents into plastic crates, set the tables up, finish cleaning and then filling the feeders, but the result was absolutely wonderful.

The hanging feeder, gently swinging in the lowest branches of the rowan tree, after which the cottage was named, looked particularly lovely.

‘Oh, Ash!’ I said, clapping my hands in excitement once we’d finally finished and as I took it all in. ‘They look so amazing.’

‘Much better than that old thing,’ he laughed, with a nod to where the old table was waiting to be chopped up for firewood because it was completely beyond repair.

‘I’m totally in your debt now,’ I told him.

‘You can pay me in pasties,’ he suggested.

‘I’ve actually just finished stocking the freezer, so you’re always welcome to drop in for a feed.’

‘I’ll hold you to that,’ he laughed.

‘Do you fancy something to eat now?’

‘If it was any other day of the week, I would have said yes, but I’m saving myself for the feast tonight.’

‘Oh yes, good plan,’ I agreed. ‘I think I’ll do the same. Would you like me to pick you up later? I don’t mind.’

‘That’s kind, but I need to take the truck. I’m on call and the chances are something will come up, so I won’t offer to collect you either, otherwise you could end up stranded.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘I’ll see you tonight.’

‘See you later. And thank you, Ash.’

‘It’s really nothing,’ he said, ducking his head.

‘No,’ I said, again resisting the urge to give him a hug, ‘it’s the very opposite of that.’

There were already a few cars parked at Fenview Farm when I arrived for the feast, but I couldn’t see Ash’s truck amongst them and I hoped he hadn’t been called out already.

While I had been getting organised for the evening, I had looked out of the cottage window to admire the bird tables and wondered what, other than food, I could offer him in return.

He might have insisted that his gifts were no big deal, but they had made me feel thought of and cherished and I was keen to make him feel that way, too.

‘Clemmie!’ called Bella, as she climbed out of her little Fiat with a man I hadn’t seen before. ‘Have you been inside?’

‘Not yet,’ I said, feeling pleased that I wasn’t going to have to walk in alone. ‘I’ve only just got here.’

‘This is my partner, Jude,’ she told me, once she’d locked her car and they’d walked over. ‘Jude, this is Clemmie.’

‘The festival saviour.’ Jude smiled at me. ‘I saw you at the launch, but didn’t have the chance to say hello.’

‘Well, hello now.’ I smiled back. ‘It’s lovely to meet you.’

‘Come on,’ said Bella, linking her arm through mine in a friendly gesture that settled my nerves more than she could have realised. ‘Let’s go in. I can’t wait for you to see what Fliss has done with the barn.’

‘And what you’ve contributed to it,’ Jude laughed. ‘Bella has helped with the decorating,’ he added for my benefit.

‘I’ve branched out,’ she giggled. ‘But only for tonight.’

As soon as we reached the barn door, Fliss, who owned the farm with her grandad, Bill, and regularly hosted supper club events showcasing local and seasonal food, rushed over with her partner, Eliot, to greet us.

The barn was the perfect setting for the festival’s autumn feast and I could already see that she, and Bella, had gone all out to dress it to perfection.

‘Come on in,’ said Fliss, ushering me further inside. ‘Come and look at what Bella has made.’

I could already see and her clever creations added perfectly to the rural ambience.

‘Scarecrows!’ I laughed. ‘How clever, Bella! They’re adorable.’

Every table had a couple, one sitting and one standing, and even though their outfits were all made from different fabrics, they all somehow matched, too.

The poles on the standing ones had been used to secure them in the centre of floral table decorations which were a riot of autumn-coloured dahlias and chrysanthemums, gourds, grasses and seasonal greenery.

There were fairy lights strung everywhere and the stacks of small pumpkins and sheaves of wheat gave the barn a wonderful harvest festival feel.

‘The barn has never looked so good,’ said Bill, who I had met when I came to talk to Fliss about their offer to host the festival’s main food events. ‘I think we’re in for a good night.’

He wasn’t wrong. Before long, all of the seats, bar one, had been taken and the feasting began.

The tables were groaning with deliciously spiced platters of seasonal vegetables, slices and chunks of all kinds of bread, richly salted butter, hard and soft cheeses, charcuterie, hog roast and apple sauce.

Everything had been locally sourced, the pork and apples, jugs of cider and juice coming from the Fenview neighbours at Skylark Farm, the cocktails and mocktails from Brambles, and I sampled practically everything.

‘Where’s Ash?’ asked Jemma who was there with her husband, Tom.

Ash’s seat was the empty one next to mine.

‘I don’t know,’ I told her. ‘He was planning to come, but he’s also on call, so maybe he’s working.’

‘I was,’ his voice piped up behind me. ‘But I’m here now. What have I missed?’

He sounded out of breath and rather harassed. I knew how much he had been looking forward to the feast, and that he hadn’t eaten ahead of it, so that was no surprise.

‘Practically everything food wise,’ Jemma tutted, as he sat down next to me and let out a huff of annoyance. ‘You’ll be lucky to get scraps now.’

‘No, he won’t,’ said Fliss, magically appearing at his side with a huge and very packed plate. ‘Because I’ve saved you a bit of everything, Ash.’

‘Hey,’ objected Eliot, from the other side of the table with mock outrage. ‘He’s got more than I had!’

‘Yes, well,’ said Fliss, giving Ash a wink and patting him on the shoulder, ‘you didn’t save Grandad’s favourite hen, did you, Eliot? Ash did.’

Ash laughed at that and I was pleased to observe the upturn in his mood. I hated the thought of the evening being spoiled for him when he’d been looking forward to it.

‘Did you really save Bill’s favourite hen?’ I asked him as everyone went back to their own seats and to no doubt refill their plates with the few bits of food that were left.

‘No,’ he confessed, in little more than a whisper, ‘it was a total fluke that she recovered, but don’t tell Fliss that otherwise she’ll be cutting down on my portion sizes.’

I laughed at that, then turned to look at him and realised there was barely an inch of space between us at the packed table. He looked at me, too, and as friendly as we were, the close proximity felt a little too close for comfort.

‘I’ll let you eat in peace,’ I said, pushing back my chair. ‘You’ve got some catching up to do and there are a couple of people I need to thank.’

I’d pretty much said all of the thanks I needed to, but doing the rounds again gave me a moment, even though I didn’t know why I needed one.

‘Have you spoken to everyone now?’ Ash later asked.

‘I think so,’ I told him, feeling fine again.

He’d long since finished eating and had helped move the tables and chairs to clear some space for dancing.

I hadn’t known that was going to be on the agenda.

It had been a long time since I’d heard music played in a party atmosphere and my foot was tapping as I stood and watched everyone.

Callum and I had loved to dance and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it.

I idly wondered if I still had the moves, as my dad was fond of saying.

‘Would you look at them?’ he would gasp in wonder when Mum tuned into Strictly . ‘They’ve got the moves. And him a former politician, too. You wouldn’t think it, would you?’

The memory of hearing that every Saturday on repeat for years made me laugh and Ash must have caught the sound.

‘Would you like to dance?’ he unexpectedly offered. ‘Though before you answer, I have to warn you, I’m pretty rubbish.’

‘No,’ I laughed. ‘But thank you.’

‘I can tell you’re itching to.’

I stilled my foot.

‘I wouldn’t want to put you through it, if it’s not your thing,’ I told him.

By the looks of the wild and varied shapes Jemma’s Tom was throwing with abandon, Ash’s alleged bad dancing wouldn’t have been out of place, but I wasn’t about to dance for the first time in a long time in such a public place. I’d save it for my kitchen. Pixie would love that.

‘Hey! Come on!’ Bella then called when she spotted us watching. ‘No wallflowers allowed tonight!’

She grabbed hold of Ash’s hand and pulled him into the crowd and the look he threw me was so desperate that I set aside my apprehension and thought my first thank you for the fairy and bird tables could be to support him on the dance floor.

‘Just one dance then!’ I shouted and joined the happy throng.

One dance turned into two, then two melded into three and by the time the opening bars of ‘You and Me’ by Shallou filled the barn, my heart was racing and I had let the music take me over completely, just like I used to.

Ash was still enthusiastically dancing too, and not badly at all.

He reached for my hand and spun me round and round while everyone moved around us.

It was the happiest and most relaxed I had felt in a very long time and when Ash pulled me close as the song headed towards its end, I was laughing and singing at the same time.

Suddenly, our bodies were pressed together, his hands were on my back, my heart was racing and our lips were just an inch apart.

It was very close proximity for… friends.

I’m not sure what would have happened next, if anything, but in the beat when time stood still, his jeans pocket began to buzz and I jumped away.

‘You’re vibrating!’ I shouted.

‘You’re telling me,’ he swallowed, his eyes trained on mine.

‘No!’ I laughed. ‘It’s your phone!’

He pulled it out of his pocket, then moved away so he could answer it in peace and I was left thinking we’d just had a very lucky escape and how fortunate we were that Joanne hadn’t been around to witness it.

It was a shocking acknowledgement, but I knew I had been about to kiss Ash or Ash had been about to kiss me, but then I reasoned, it was only because we had been caught up in the moment.

We had both been in an entirely uninhibited state, high on good food and fun music.

It wouldn’t have meant anything, but it could have made our purely platonic friendship awkward, so I was relieved it hadn’t happened.

And of course, given that I was still in love with Callum, and had always been resolute that I would never so much as even look at another man in that way again, the guilt that kissing Ash would have doubtless triggered, would have been unbearable.

‘Crikey,’ I said to Bella, who was still dancing. ‘I’m boiling. I need a drink.’

I poured myself a glass of apple juice and drank it slowly as I caught my breath.

‘Hey,’ I then said to Ash, who joined me. ‘Let me get you a drink.’

The action gave me something to do and meant I didn’t have to look at him for a few more seconds. I had almost recovered, but not quite.

‘No time,’ he said. ‘But thanks. I need to get to the practice.’

‘Oh no,’ I said, though actually I felt a bit relieved as I glanced at him. ‘You’re not leaving?’

‘Afraid so,’ he nodded. ‘And then,’ he added, not quite looking at me, either, ‘in the morning, I’m off to stay with Mum and Dad for a few days.’

‘You didn’t mention it before.’

‘Did I not?’ He frowned. ‘I meant to.’

‘Will you be gone long?’ I asked.

‘I’ll be back in time for the start of the pumpkin picking,’ he promised.

He still wasn’t looking at me properly.

‘You know, Ash,’ I started to say. ‘That dance just now—’

‘Sorry, Clem,’ he said, taking a step away, ‘I really need to go. Say goodbye to Fliss and the others for me, will you?’

‘Of course,’ I said. ‘But Ash…’

My words trailed off as he walked away. He didn’t look back and I hoped our mad moment wasn’t the reason behind his sudden departure from the county because I was certain it hadn’t been in the offing before.

But if that was the case, and I’d already managed to rationalise what had happened, why hadn’t he?