Page 46 of All Wrapped Up

‘You aren’t going to have a go at me, are you?’ I said, pushing my chair away from the table again. ‘Because I’m in no mood for that. Or are you going to confess to being the person who stole the window dressing public ballot box?’

‘No, I’m not going to have a go at you,’ he hastily said. ‘And no, it absolutely wasn’t me who took that box.’

‘It wasn’t?’ I gasped.

‘No,’ he said again. ‘It was not. I’ve no idea who was responsible for that, but it wasn’t me. I can understand why you assumed it might be though.’

I was completely taken aback that it wasn’t him and wondered who else it might have been. There was no one on my radar. As far as I knew, everyone else was a fan of the festival…

‘Anyway,’ Jason said, when I didn’t apologise for mistakenly thinking he was the culprit, ‘it’s something else I want to talk to you about now.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I rather bluntly said, ‘but it will have to wait, because I really need to get home. Pixie is waiting, and—’

‘I just want to say that I’m very sorry for your loss,’ he then blurted out, while staring at the table. ‘I’m sorry that you were widowed at such a young age and in such a tragic way.’

‘You what?’ I gasped. ‘How did you know about that?’

How had my being the person behind AutumnEverything been bypassed and word about Callum already got out? I looked around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear what Jason had said, just in case it hadn’t spread all that far.

‘My nephew is a journalist on the paper,’ he told me, and my mouth fell open.

‘He’s writing the story about the festival and how you’re the organiser as well as something famous on the internet.

I don’t understand it. It’s all beyond me.

But he found out all this other stuff, when he looked you up.

Stories about how your husband was… drowned, while trying to—’

I put up a hand to stop him retelling me my past. ‘I know what happened,’ I said quietly.

‘Of course,’ he said, his gaze darting up to meet mine, ‘sorry.’

A brief silence fell between us.

‘If it’s any comfort, he’s only going to write about the internet thing,’ he eventually said. ‘He’s not going to mention you being a widow.’

‘Given that it isn’t relevant to the story, I had been hoping that would be the case,’ I told him as realisation dawned. ‘Though of course, as he’ll be mentioning the internet thing, other people will be able to look me up like he has, won’t they?’

‘Oh, yes,’ Jason tutted and his shoulders slumped. ‘I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry.’

‘Two apologies in one sitting,’ I pointed out. ‘Is that a record?’

He looked at me and smiled and I received yet another surprise. He looked like an entirely different person when he wasn’t frowning and scowling and the change in his expression made me momentarily forget the monumental evening I was having.

‘I’m actually going to make it three,’ he then confessed and his smile disappeared again.

‘Why?’ I groaned, as it all came rushing back to me. ‘What else have you got to apologise for?’

‘I didn’t come after you just because of the festival,’ he said in a rush.

‘You didn’t?’

‘It was the cottage as well.’

‘Rowan Cottage?’ I frowned. ‘My cottage?’

‘Yes,’ he said, putting his pint down.

‘Go on,’ I insisted. ‘Tell me.’

‘You see, I had always hoped it would be my cottage,’ he explained. ‘But when it eventually came up for sale, I couldn’t afford it.’

‘But why did you want to buy it?’ I asked. ‘No disrespect, but I can’t see you as the roses around the door type.’

When he looked at me that time, there were tears in his eyes and I regretted what I had said because it was suddenly obvious that the impression Jason presented to the world might not be the genuine one.

‘You might not believe this,’ he said, his Adam’s apple bobbing, ‘but even I was young and in love once. The girl I was smitten with, Cassy Wicks, loved that cottage. We used to go on bike rides into the Fen just to cycle past it and we’d imagine what we’d do with it if it was ours.

I promised her that one day it would be. ’

‘Oh, Jason,’ I whispered, knowing there was going to be a tragedy at the heart of this tale. ‘What happened? What happened to Cassy?’

‘Cancer took her,’ he said, sniffing fiercely. ‘The summer we were due to be wed. She was only twenty-one. We both were.’

‘Oh god.’ I swallowed. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘So, I know, you see. I know how it feels and I’m sorry I’ve made such a nuisance of myself while you’ve been going through it.’

I could tell he was in earnest. The urgency in his tone and the retelling of his own heartbreak both supported and strengthened his sincere sounding apology.

‘Even though it’s decades on, I felt jealous that you’d got what I promised Cass we’d one day have,’ he rushed on. ‘When you got the cottage, well, I felt like I’d failed her.’

‘I can understand that,’ I told him, after a beat had passed. ‘I can understand why you felt that way.’

For a while, I had felt like I’d let Callum down by selling our home, so I knew how much emotional baggage came wrapped up in bricks and mortar.

‘Well,’ said Jason, roughly rubbing a hand over his eyes. ‘That’s something, I suppose.’

‘But have you been all this time on your own, Jason?’ I then gasped, as the empty decades presented themselves. ‘Have you truly been on your own for all these years?’

I would have guessed he was nearer to seventy than sixty.

‘I have,’ he said, sadly. ‘And I’ll continue to be, too, because who would want a bitter old crock like me? I’ve spent so long trying to stop things around here from changing so the town will still feel like it did when my girl was alive, that everyone hates me now. I’m going to be alone forever…’

So, he objected to what he considered to be the gentrification of Wynbridge because the changes were impacting on the memories he had from when Cassy was alive, not because he thought they didn’t genuinely benefit the town.

‘That’s so sad,’ I whispered and he gave me a look. ‘What?’ I frowned.

‘Well, it could be you saying that one day, couldn’t it?’ he said, suddenly brusque. ‘The bit about being alone forever, I mean.’

‘Me?’ I swallowed.

‘Yes,’ he said gruffly. ‘You, Clementine Bennett. I know the signs and I daresay you’ve made some pledge to your dearly departed or to yourself that you’ll never love again, just like I did. I bet you’ve said that you’ll never let your closed-up heart be warmed by another, haven’t you?’

The sentiment could have been poetic had it not pierced my closed-up heart with all the force of a perfectly aimed arrow.

‘I…’ I stuttered. ‘I mean…’

‘Exactly,’ he said fiercely. ‘I thought as much. Well, don’t end up like me, gal. Seeing you, so young and with the weight of this tragedy behind you, has made me realise how young I was when I went through my own heartbreak and how little life I’ve lived since.’

‘I’m sorry you didn’t have anyone to help you through it,’ I said, setting aside thoughts of my heart and thinking instead of my parents and now my new friends who made life so much more manageable for me.

‘I did,’ he sighed heavily, ‘and I pushed them all away until they left me to my own devices.’

‘Well,’ I said, ‘I haven’t done that. I have my family and my new friends and now the autumn festival to keep me on track.’

Callum and I had had friends back in my hometown, all other couples, but we’d lost touch. It had been too painful to see everyone’s lives ultimately carrying on while mine had been destroyed.

‘So, you’re not an entirely lost cause,’ he smiled wryly.

‘Not now I’ve been found,’ I smiled back, as an idea popped into my head. ‘And it’s really not too late for you either, Jason. Why don’t you start by joining in with the festival?’

I expected him to look aghast, but his smile grew wider.

‘It’s funny you should suggest that,’ he grinned, ‘because I’ve decided to follow your lead with regards to the festival.’

‘Oh?’

‘I’m going to the library on Sunday to pick up a couple of books that are on the book club list,’ he amazed and delighted me by saying. ‘And I’m planning to trounce the competition at the pumpkin carving competition later in the month, too.’

My mouth fell open.

‘It’s time I started living even if I am on my own!’

‘I hope this gentleman isn’t making a nuisance of himself,’ said Jim, who suddenly loomed up.

‘Not at all,’ I was delighted to be able to tell him. ‘We’re just discussing the autumn book club reads.’

Jason cracked another smile and Jim moved away wearing a puzzled expression.

‘That’ll set tongues wagging,’ Jason laughed and drained his pint. ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you to your thoughts. As long as they’re not dark ones?’

‘They’re not,’ I smiled. ‘But thank you for asking. I don’t suppose you’d like to come and see the cottage sometime, would you?’

He looked astonished. ‘That’s a very generous offer,’ he said, ‘but I’m sure you’ve made some changes and I’d rather keep it as I remember it.’

‘I understand.’ I nodded.

‘Though I do hope you’ve sorted that downstairs bathroom out?’ he added, before he walked away. ‘Cassy and I always imagined it would be glacial behind that frosted glass in the winter.’

‘It’s cosy now,’ I told him, thinking of my beloved home and the hound who would be waiting to welcome me back into it. ‘The whole place is cosy now.’