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“On second thoughts, I think I will wait until the morning. It’s getting quite late already.”

That had never stopped her before, but after the day she’d had, she didn’t quite feel herself. Under the circumstances, it was probably safer not to go out alone in the dark atop a horse she had never ridden before.

Alfred bowed. “As you wish.”

“Lord Ashton.”

Christopher smiled at Sian’s obvious surprise. This time, she had not almost run into him, this time he was the one who had gone to her.

“What brings you here today?”

“You,” Christopher answered. “Today, I came to see you.”

He didn’t know who, Sian or himself, was the most shocked by that announcement.

When he had left Throckmorton earlier that day, he’d had no intention of coming to Sheridan Manor.

And yet, as soon as he’d trotted through the gate, he’d turned east, as if that were the normal thing to do.

A moment later, he had reached the bottom of the hill in time to see Sian walk over the drawbridge, a basket in hand.

The temptation to follow her had been so overwhelming he had not tried to resist it.

Their meeting would best be kept a secret, so it was just as well she’d left the castle.

“You came to see me? Not Elsie?” she asked with the boldness he had come to expect of her.

“No. I haven’t, er, met with her, shall we say, for a year or so.”

Not since that day Sian had found him sneaking out of the stables, he meant.

For a reason he could not explain, the maid had lost all her appeal that day.

Suddenly, he had found her tall frame unattractive, her generous bosom vulgar, her brash manners grating.

And now he was ill at ease talking about his conquests in front of Sian.

What had possessed him to brag about his tumble in the hay the year before?

That offhand attitude was so ingrained in him it had not crossed his mind to act any differently, but for the first time in his life, he wished he didn’t feel the constant need to shock people.

It would no doubt make him appear crude to her, and, now that he knew her better, he didn’t want that. Her opinion mattered to him.

He jumped down from Warrior and planted himself in front of her.

Sian’s gaze darted from him to his stallion and back again.

Was she imagining what the horse had done with Angel the other day?

Was she wondering if a man could mount a woman in the same manner?

Was she about to ask him whether it was possible?

He wouldn’t put it past her. She always came up with the most surprising comments and puzzling questions. That was what made her irresistible.

Yes … And also why he had come, he suddenly realized. To hear more of her surprising comments and puzzling questions.

“Ask me the first question that comes to your mind,” he challenged, unable to wait another moment to hear what would come out of her mouth.

She didn’t even blink when the other people he knew would have stared at him before declaring they had no idea what to ask him.

“If you could choose between having two blue eyes or two brown eyes, which would you prefer?”

Perfect. Her choice was even better than what he had hoped for. His whole body surged, which was to be expected, and his heart fluttered, which was more of a surprise.

He crossed his arms over his chest before answering.

“As I am not the one having to look at them, I care not. Their appearance doesn’t affect me.

In case you weren’t aware of it, I cannot feel any difference.

I only know I have different-colored eyes because people have told me as much.

” Or rather, people had mocked him because of it, taken fright because of it, asked him whether he was the spawn of the devil because of it, not dared to look him in the eye because of it …

The list was endless. Only Sian had shown genuine interest in them, and that made him feel as if they added to the appeal he exerted over her.

“But you can see them. So tell me. What would you choose in my stead?”

“I would keep them exactly the way they are.” There was no hesitation.

“Oh?” He wanted to hear more and was not going to let her get away with such a simple explanation.

“Yes. And the way you only ever arch a brow over the blue eye is just perfect.”

Did he? That was interesting. What else would Sian tell him about himself? She smiled, as if he’d tried to prove her point. He hadn’t. Up until that moment, he’d had no idea he could arch only his left brow.

“It suits him,” she said, looking endearingly coy. “The brown one is more serious. He would never do anything so whimsical.”

He?

His lips quivered. Had the little Welsh lady just gifted him with another little nugget of delight? “Tell me you haven’t …” He could scarcely credit what he was about to ask, but he forged onward. He knew the reward could be immense. “You haven’t given my eyes names, have you?”

The face she made was enough to tell him that, yes, she had and she was mortified to have unintentionally revealed as much.

Something like a chuckle—a most disconcerting sound—escaped his chest. Christopher never chuckled.

But how could he have helped it? The woman was wonderful.

What had he done to deserve to get to know someone like her, who not only constantly took him by surprise but also accepted and liked him the way he was?

“Let me guess. You’ve named them Sky and Earth? Blue and brown, it would make sense.”

She twisted her lips in consideration. “That’s not bad, you know.” Her eyes flicked to the horse standing behind him. “Did you choose your stallion’s name? Warrior is such a great choice for him. Not everyone has a gift for choosing names.”

“And you think I do?” That was possibly the oddest, most charming compliment he had ever received.

“I think you do.”

“What else can you add to the list of qualities I possess?” Never had he been more curious to hear someone’s opinion.

The people in his family had never had anything positive to say about him, and his conquests only ever praised his looks or stamina, as if his body were the only thing of interest about him, while his male friends would not even think of discussing such matters.

Few people were as open as Lady Sian Hunter, or as imaginative, and he found he was starving for heartfelt compliments.

“Who’s to say you have other qualities?” she teased.

“You. It seems to me you are the only person who’s ever tried to find what is hidden inside me instead of accepting the image you are presented.

” He’d not forgotten how she had told him he was nothing like a cold fish, or in other words, his father.

“It’s as if you were determined not to think ill of me. ”

Judging from the way her eyes widened, this time, it seemed he was the one who’d surprised her.

“Perhaps I am,” she whispered. “Perhaps I want to hope there is more to you than the disreputable rogue.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason? Don’t I deserve to see the real you instead of the ‘image I am presented,’ as you said? Doesn’t everyone?”

That was the question. Once again, she had gone straight to the heart of the matter.

All his life, Christopher had felt undesired, unworthy of attention.

His father had sent him away before the two of them had been able to forge any sort of bond, his mother had never shown him any interest, and his grandfather had never praised him or even taken him into consideration.

He’d had to fight for every scrap of attention he’d gotten.

He’d become the roguish seducer, the confident knight, the outrageous friend because he’d felt there was no other choice.

Without that, he feared he didn’t have what it took to attract people.

What if the real me is not enough? he wanted to ask Sian.

What if people don’t want to accept who I am deep down, preferring the character I have built to the man I am?

Who was he? After so long trying to make himself more likable, more noticeable, more shocking, he wasn’t even sure he knew anymore.

In the end, he didn’t dare say anything. He’d already said more than he should have the last time he’d seen Sian, opening up about his feelings toward his father. It wouldn’t do to bare all his insecurities because he still had his pride.

“Listen, I would love to stay and talk about how likable I really am, but I fear that would be a lengthy conversation and I was actually on my way to town. I stopped here only briefly to see if you’d heard about how Angel was faring,” he lied.

But after their conversation, he needed to leave. A coward, was that what he was, then?

Perhaps.

“Angel?” Sian appeared surprised by the question, and no wonder. Only a moment ago, he’d told her he’d come to see her, and now he was saying he had stopped by only because he’d chanced upon her. “She is fine. By all accounts, all went well the other day. We might have a beautiful foal next year.”

“You might, for the service seemed successful.”

He would never tell her that he had imagined himself mounting her in that same impetuous manner only the night before as he had lain in bed, idly stroking himself.

The thought, having come out of nowhere, had disconcerted him.

He rarely fantasized about taking women in that primal, uncompromising manner, much less proper little ladies like Sian Hunter.

What in God’s name had made his desire toward such an unsuitable woman surge in such a manner?

But surged it had, and the idle caress had soon transformed into a storm of release. What would she make of it if she knew? What did he make of it? He didn’t know.

“Goodbye then, my lady.”

Christopher vaulted on top of Warrior and left the shadow of Sheridan Manor, more confused than ever.