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Chapter Nineteen

L ord Cantle breathed his last on Christmas Eve, surrounded by his wife and six children.

Sian was heartbroken, but she didn’t feel she had the right to show her grief in front of people who had lost a beloved father.

She had been married to Lord Cantle for only a few months and she was younger than all of his children save his last daughter, Anne.

That was the first time she had met any of them.

It made for an awkward situation, to say the least, but to their credit, they never made her feel as an intruder.

Still, it was a relief when they departed.

In the new year, Sian decided to leave Clearfield Hall as well. Edward, the new Lord Cantle, would be back with his wife and two sons within a fortnight. He had assured her she was welcome to stay, but she knew she would never feel at ease with such an arrangement.

And so, a week later, on a sunny January afternoon, she was back at Sheridan Manor. A letter had preceded her, informing her family of her new situation and pending arrival.

Sobbing, Sian fell into her mother’s arms as soon as the two of them were alone.

Esyllt would understand what she was going through better than anyone else.

Her marriage to Gwyn had been much the same as Sian’s with Lord Cantle, based on mutual affection.

With two notable exceptions: it had lasted much longer, and it had borne fruit.

“Oh, Mam! I fear you might not believe me, but I was truly fond of my husband, who was the best of men!”

“My sweet, I know.” There was no judgment in Esyllt’s voice.

“He was so brave, so kind … He didn’t deserve so much pain.”

“I know.” For a moment, her mother just held her.

Then she drew back and looked her straight in the eye.

“But you’re still young, and I think I have proved that it is possible to have a second happy marriage, one with a man you love and who loves you in return.

That is the sort of marriage I wish for all my children. ”

“Like yours and Father’s, you mean.” Sian wished for such a marriage as well, had wished for it from the age of nine.

“Yes.” Her mother’s eyes softened. “When we met, things were very complicated between us. But we didn’t give up because, deep down, we knew it would be worth it in the end.

You have to fight for what you want in this life.

And I think we both know what—who—you want.

” She took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at her when Sian averted her gaze.

“You know what I’m going to tell you, cariad .

If you still love your man, as I suspect you do, then go get him.

Don’t let anything stop you—guilt, conventions, people’s malice.

You two are made for one another. So just go get him. ”

Oh, she wanted to, but that was more easily said than done.

“I don’t know where he might be,” she whispered, not even trying to pretend she didn’t know who her mother was referring to or that she didn’t want him.

“No, but his friend, Sir Alexander, might know. Go ask him tomorrow.”

Sian nodded—then her heart skipped a beat. It seemed that what she had dreaded had come to pass. “You know the two of them are friends?”

Esyllt gave a wistful smile. “After you left, your father remembered where he’d heard Sir Alexander’s name. It wasn’t long before we pieced everything together.”

Sian shot to her feet. “I swear I never dishonored my husband!” The merit for that restraint was all Christopher’s, of course, but the result was the same. “We only?—”

“I trust you. What happened or did not happen between you is no one’s concern. Now, listen to me. Enough with the past. Make sure Christopher Harrison understands how badly he’s hurt you, but go get him. If you don’t, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“He hurt me, aye, but it was not his fault.”

During her last visit, not wanting anyone to know she had met with Christopher since her wedding day, she had kept his confession to herself.

But it was time her family knew what she had found out the night after the joust, what had happened to him.

She could not afford to have any of them ignoring that he had done nothing wrong and been badly used.

Once she had finished her tale, Esyllt looked aghast.

“That weasel Lord Ashton! How could he do such a thing? I have a mind to go to Throckmorton now and?—”

Her gaze landed on her daughter’s throat, and she stopped abruptly.

“Don’t go to him. He’s a dangerous man,” Sian said, answering the silent question in her mother’s eyes. Lord Ashton, not two strangers, had been responsible for the bruises on her throat. “And please, don’t tell Father who really tried to strangle me. He would only kill him.”

“Which is nothing less than what he deserves for attacking you!”

“Perhaps. But he has a wife and child, who are innocent of any deed, and he is Christopher’s only family.

A man who’s always wanted a family should not have to hear that his only brother has been killed.

And Father should not become a murderer because of me.

” She was adamant on both accounts. “In the end, there was no harm done. Sir Alexander and Christopher reached me in time.”

Reluctantly, Esyllt nodded. “Very well. I understand. Let’s hope the vile man meets his just deserts one day.”

The following day, Sian rode to Audley Castle, accompanied by Jane and William the young squire.

Her mother had agreed to keep the real purpose of the outing from her father but had insisted she take an escort.

Though she knew her daughter had not really been assaulted by two strangers that day in December, Esyllt was not going to risk it happening for real.

It had cost Sian little to agree to the condition.

“My lady. Welcome back.”

Sir Alexander was delighted to see her again and offered his condolences on her recent loss, which made her frown.

How had he heard about Lord Cantle’s demise?

As far as she knew, only her family had been told.

She didn’t have the opportunity to ask the question, however, because before she could open her mouth, he told her he had no idea where Christopher might be at present.

“He left the day he accompanied you back to Sheridan Manor, and I haven’t heard anything from him since. I’m sorry. I wish I could help.”

Sian could not pretend to be surprised, as that was exactly what she had feared, but she was crushed nonetheless.

Christopher could be anywhere, and if even his closest friend had no idea of his whereabouts, what chance did she have of ever finding him?

That last blow threatened to undo her composure, and she bade Sir Alexander goodbye before she could crumple in despair.

What had she done to deserve having fate beleaguer her thus?

She wanted only a chance at happiness with the man she’d always loved. Surely, that was not too much to ask?

The ride back home was miserable. Sian could barely stop the tears from falling on her cheeks, and by her side, Jane didn’t know what to say. That was hardly surprising. There was nothing to say.

Then, as they entered the forest, William called out to them, tension making his voice raw. “Halt!”

Before either woman could react, he had urged his mount in front of theirs and placed one hand on the hilt of his sword. It was then that Sian saw it.

Half-hidden in the foliage, was a man on horseback, his position making it clear he was waiting for them to round the bend to pounce.

Her first reaction was to recoil in fear.

Not an attack—not now! Then she started to wonder at the man’s clumsiness.

How did he hope to pass unnoticed so close to the road, sitting on a horse of such a vibrant copper color?

It was almost as if he wanted them to spot him. It was almost as if …

Almost as if …

Sian kicked her horse onward before she could think.

Behind her, she heard Jane tell William that everything was fine, that he didn’t need to intervene.

Indeed, it was more than fine. Because the conspicuous copper-colored horse was none other than Warrior and the attacker heedless of being seen Christopher, the man she most dearly wanted to see.

He dismounted when he saw she had recognized him, and she jumped down from the saddle as soon as she reached him, despite knowing her knees were the consistency of boiled mollusks.

By some miracle she managed to stay upright.

Distantly, she became aware of Jane and William trotting off together back to Sheridan Manor.

And then, the forest quieted.

At last, Sian was alone with the man she had never stopped loving—and with whom she was free to be. She took a step forward, then stopped, her heart thumping hard in her chest. There was only one reason for the fiery look in Christopher’s eyes.

He had come back to claim her.

As if to prove it, thunder flashed in his brown eye. “May I offer my condolences?”

“Thank you. It was truly horrid. The poor man …”

Pain sliced through her gut when she remembered her husband’s last moments. No one, much less a man like Lord Cantle, deserved to endure that much pain.

Then the meaning of Christopher’s words hit her. He’d heard. Despite being nowhere near Clearfield Hall, he’d heard about Lord Cantle’s passing.

“Wait. How did you know of my husband’s death?”

He stared at her for a long moment, as if unsure whether to answer or not, then he shrugged, clearly deciding he might as well be honest. “I befriended John, the groom at Clearfield Hall, during the tourney. I asked him to send me word if … erm, anything happened.”