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In the darkness, there was no way of knowing what her sister’s reaction was, but it was not hard to guess she had arched her brow as if to say, “Are we really going to pretend nothing is weighing on your mind?”

From the moment they’d met, Sian had never kept anything from her sister.

It felt disloyal to keep a secret, especially when it concerned something—someone—that was so important to her.

And yet, in all these years, she had never allowed her feelings for Christopher to shine through.

She had kept silent about their recent meetings and been careful not to betray undue interest whenever he was mentioned in her presence. It was becoming too taxing.

It was time she confided in someone. Her secret was burning her from the inside, and after his confession that afternoon, she found herself hoping Jane would see he was no longer the boy she had hated, understand the reasons behind his behavior, and forgive him.

She braced herself and opened her mouth. “I’m in love with Christopher.”

There. It could not have been clearer.

The body next to her tensed up, as if its owner were afraid to understand what had been said. “Christopher?”

“Harrison. Lord Ashton to you.”

This time, Jane bolted upright. “You … But you can’t be!”

“I can, and I am. I’ve been in love with him from the moment I saw him all those years ago when we came here for Iorwerth’s christening.”

“Sian, he’s always been horrible to me! I told you, and you’ve seen it yourself. It was almost as if he went out of his way to make me cry every time we met.”

“That is precisely what he did,” Sian whispered. “To make himself feel better.”

Jane didn’t sound sympathetic. “What do you mean?”

“I saw him this morning during my ride, and he explained it all to me.” Keeping very still, she relayed their intimate conversation, his pain and loneliness as a child, his jealousy of Jane and her family.

It could have felt disloyal to reveal his secret, but she had the impression he would have approved. “He said he regretted it.”

“Oh, he does?” A scoff. “I suppose that makes it all right, then.”

Sian’s stomach fell. “Please don’t be like that. I hate the idea of you disapproving, but I can’t help what I feel. I love him. And I think if you got to know him, you would see that he really is sorry for what he made you endure.”

Her sister was a forgiving, gentle soul. Had she seen the look in Christopher’s eyes when he’d confided in her, she would have known he was telling the truth.

“I’m sorry. I just …”

Sian wasn’t sure what Jane wanted to say. Was she disappointed in her sister’s choice? Did she fear it would be impossible for her to forgive the boy who had caused her so much pain? It was not impossible.

What would it mean for them, who had never had a moment’s disagreement since the moment they’d met?

Because as much as she hated the idea of a rift between her and her beloved sister, Sian knew she could never stop loving Christopher.

It had been impossible to do so when she had thought him an insufferable rogue, so what chance did she have now that she knew what was hidden behind the facade?

She didn’t want to forget about him. Her feelings for him were like sunshine.

Even if she’d tried to block them out, she would still have felt them bringing light and warmth to her whole being.

They were intangible but there all the same.

And she didn’t want to get rid of them, any more than she wanted to live without sunshine.

These feelings were what made her life more beautiful.

Nobody wanted to languish in the cold and rain when they could be luxuriating in the sun.

She didn’t want to be without Christopher, imperfect as he was, infuriating as he could be, because she wasn’t perfect either and could be just as maddening.

Unlike other people, he did not ignore her; unlike other men, he thought her pretty.

He teased her, admittedly, but that was only proof of his interest. He listened to her, asked her opinion.

In his presence, she was not the shy girl she was too often reduced to.

When he looked at her, she didn’t feel insignificant but intriguing, even … beautiful.

Yes. The man everyone took for a rogue brought out the best in her.

“You heard what I told you the other day?” Jane started hesitantly. “He’s fathered a child onto Elsie and refuses to?—”

“He has not!” Sian cut in, feeling close to tears.

She had never imagined she would have to work so hard at convincing her sister, the person she loved the most in the world, of the suitability of the man she had chosen for herself, and it was painful.

“The child is not his and cannot be. I asked him, and he confirmed it.”

“You—”

“We have seen one another quite a few times since I arrived. I have gained a better understanding of him. And I trust him. Elsie is lying about the babe.”

A silence.

“I promise to try and think on everything you’ve said.” Jane’s tone made it clear it was the most she would be able to do for the moment. It would have to suffice. At least, she had not left the bed in outrage.

“ Diolch. ”

It was only when she thanked her that Sian realized they had conversed in Welsh. They always seemed to revert to her language when discussing intimate matters. From the start, it had been their secret, private language. It was fitting they would discuss the man she loved in Welsh.

A moment later, with her sister’s hand tucked inside hers, Sian finally fell asleep.