Page 27

His blue eyes crinkled. “Believe it or not, virginity is not the sole quality a man worthy of the name looks for in a wife. I’m sure that having been raised by men like Connor and Matthew Hunter will have made that clear to you,” he answered wryly.

“Like them, I am intelligent enough to believe that an untouched body is not the most important attribute a woman can possess.”

This extraordinary answer took Sian by surprise. Indeed, her father and uncle had always respected women and praised them for their intelligence and wisdom, but she did not think many men shared that opinion. For many, virginity was a woman’s most prized possession.

“I’m impressed by your generosity of spirit, my lord.”

“Don’t be. I’m doing for you what I couldn’t do for Constance.

” He was still staring into the distance.

“I couldn’t save her from despair, but I could save you.

It could be a way of appeasing my conscience.

She killed herself, you see, after a man she loved used her and she thought that, because of it, her life was over. ”

The blood froze in Sian’s veins. Was he saying … Was he afraid she would end up killing herself? She didn’t know whether to be moved or horrified because despite her heartbreak, the idea of ending her own life had never crossed her mind. Would she one day wake up and think it was her only solution?

“I thank you and I promise to take your offer into consideration.” Anything to avoid such a dreadful outcome.

“Wait. There is something I have to say before you decide anything.”

Lord Cantle paused. Evidently, the confession would not be easy for him. This really was the most unlikely marriage proposal Sian could have imagined.

“If we marry, I fear I will not be able to be a true husband to you.”

Sian adjusted her position on the bench, ill at ease at the turn the conversation had taken.

She’d heard that men over a certain age or weight could sometimes find it difficult to perform in bed.

Was that what Lord Cantle was trying to tell her?

That he would not be able to fulfill his marital duty?

She could not imagine he suffered from any shortcomings.

He was only a few years older than her father, who was at the height of his virility, and he appeared just as lean.

“May I ask why that may be?” Despite the delicate nature of the question, she needed to know.

They were being honest with one another, and she desperately wanted to hear the problem did not lie with her.

After Christopher’s rejection, she could not bear to hear that another man found her lacking or unable to stir his desire in bed.

If that were the case, she would not even consider marrying him.

“My daughter looked so much like you that I know it would be impossible for me to be with you … in that way. In view of this, I would understand if you refused my offer.”

The air stilled around Sian. The man who’d just offered to marry her to save her from ruin and a life of solitude was telling her he would not put a finger on her because it would feel wrong.

Her relief was so acute that she sagged on the bench.

Undoubtedly, the bedding had been the one aspect of marriage to Lord Cantle she had viewed with apprehension.

But now, he was telling her he would not touch her.

It was too good to be true because it meant she could accept his offer.

Still, she felt guilty because, say what he might, she had the impression she would be the sole one benefiting from a union between them.

He saw her avert her gaze and mistook her guilt for disappointment—or offense.

“I will be a good husband, I will care and provide for you, but I will never consummate our union or give you children. I’m sorry. I know it is not fair to you, so I’ll understand if you would rather?—”

“No,” she said hastily. She could guess how much that confession had cost him, and a rush of pity swept through her. “I understand. And I think your scruples honor you, my lord.”

Indeed, it was the mark of an honorable man that he had been honest instead of trapping her into a marriage that would be in name only.

And his refusal to possess someone who looked like his daughter was reassuring.

Too many men she’d met seemed governed by their baser needs.

As Lady Cantle, she would be protected and get the companionship she needed.

She would not end up alone and a burden.

Even more to the point, she would do what she had hoped to do, show Christopher that someone wanted her even if he did not.

The thought caused her to straighten her spine.

She’d been looking for a way of taking her revenge and making herself feel better, of proving to him and herself that she could be chosen for the qualities she possessed.

That could be it. Married to a good man who valued her company by day and did not press his advances on her at night, she would have a normal life.

No one would pity or mock her. In time, she might learn to be happy.

The prospect of Lord Cantle not touching her did not frighten her—quite the contrary.

Because she could not imagine another man doing to her what Christopher had done.

A lifetime of chastity was preferable to feeling another man’s hands on her, another man’s heat inside her. This union was the perfect solution.

Except … except it meant she would never have children, which had been the whole reason she, at the age of nine, had decided to get married.

She shook her head, fighting a fresh wave of tears. It mattered not. She had understood the moment Christopher had refused her that she would not have the life she had dreamed of. And at least Lord Cantle was offering her a chance at respectability and contentment.

It was the best she could hope for. With three sisters and a brother, she would likely have a dozen nephews and nieces. She would have to be content with that.

“No one will know that our marriage was never consummated. I swear, it will be our secret,” she told Lord Cantle.

“Does that mean you accept my offer?” He sounded half hopeful and half dismayed on her behalf, as if he could not believe what she was sacrificing.

Sian hesitated only for a heartbeat. “Yes, I do.”

“Are you really going to marry Lord Cantle?”

Though Jane’s voice did not betray any condemnation, Sian knew all too well she was disapproving. The stiffening in her spine made that clear.

“Yes. He’s a good man.”

“He is. That doesn’t mean he’s the husband for?—”

“The husband I want and thought to marry,” Sian cut in with an uncharacteristic snarl, “doesn’t want me.

He told me so in no uncertain terms only a few days ago, and there was no mistaking his meaning.

So what am I supposed to do? Pine after him like I have done all my life?

Wait for him to change his mind like a pathetic creature?

Forever be the unmarried daughter of Lord Sheridan while I watch my sisters and brother leave one by one?

Forego all chance at dignity and contentment? ”

She had never sounded so bitter. Perhaps because she had never felt so bitter.

So dejected.

Jane placed a hand on her shoulder. “I understand. But it’s only been a fortnight since you found out about Lord Ash— about his treachery. Should you not take the time to absorb the shock you’ve endured before making such a drastic decision as to marry a stranger?”

Yes, it had been a fortnight since her confrontation with Christopher.

In other words, an eternity. Sian didn’t see how she was going to survive another fortnight like it, much less a lifetime.

Marrying a kind man intent on helping her, a man who would not make demands on her and save her from the indignity of being rejected, was not a drastic solution.

It was exactly what she needed not to drown in despair.

“I’ve had all the time I’m ever going to need,” Sian said with decision. “My situation is not going to change. This is the best, fairest offer I’m ever going to get, considering …”

Considering I’m not a virgin anymore .

Jane bit her bottom lip. She’d understood all too well what Sian hadn’t said.

“Now, come. I need to go tell Mam and Father we have a wedding to organize.”

Understandably, the news of Lord Cantle’s proposal—and her agreement—was received with a fair amount of disbelief.

To their credit, however, her parents did not overwhelm her with questions and unnecessary comments.

They seemed to understand she was doing the only thing she could do to protect her sanity.

“Lord Cantle is a good man,” her mother said in a low voice. “I’m sure he will make a good husband.”

But perhaps not for you.

Though the words were not spoken out loud, Sian heard them all the same. It was what Jane thought as well, what everyone thought.

What could she say? She knew her mother’s reticence had nothing to do with her future groom’s age.

She had been married to an older man before she’d become Lady Sheridan.

Sian’s real father, Gwyn, had been one of her father’s best friends and some thirty years her mother’s senior.

Esyllt knew such a marriage could bring a woman a measure of contentment.

If, of course, she was not in love with another man and they could enjoy a true marriage.

Sian did not let such considerations bother her. Lord Cantle was the perfect husband for her precisely because their marriage would not be a true one.

As promised, she hadn’t told anyone about their secret arrangement, but her parents seemed to know what the situation was anyway.

Her mother had just alluded to it, and her father’s green gaze was even more piercing than usual.

He might have met the blonde, blue-eyed Constance and guessed his friend would find it impossible to bed his new wife because of the resemblance between the two of them.

It was not impossible. Connor Hunter was a very astute man.

In any case, it made no difference. She would become Lady Cantle. There was no other path for her.

“Come then, we will go see him,” her father finally said.