Page 29

The way Sian blanched and fell on the bench behind her was enough to tell him it was not as bad as he’d feared. She was horrified at the accusation because he had been the first man she’d gifted with the use of her mouth.

Yes, but only because she wanted me to agree to marry her , he reminded himself before he could apologize for his crudeness.

And it had worked. He had agreed to do the honorable thing by her.

He had been so honorable, in fact, that when his real place in the world had been revealed, he had done what he thought best for her even though his whole being had rebelled against the idea.

He had given her a chance to free herself from a union that would signify her ruin and marry a man who could offer the life she would never have had with him.

He had not thought she would jump at the first opportunity to do so, so quickly, or so cynically. But there it was, less than a fortnight after she’d found out he was not, after all, a lord, she’d found herself a husband.

Why was he even surprised?

She had pretended to be Mildred in the hope that he would deflower her before he realized who she was so she could go cry to her father that Lord Ashton had to be made accountable for his actions.

And when a man like Connor Hunter wanted to coerce someone into doing something, there was no stopping him.

But her plan hadn’t worked because upon discovering who she was, he’d refused to bed her.

So she had resorted to the oldest trick available to women.

She had dropped to her knees and taken him into her mouth, for Christ’s sake.

What lady did that unbidden? Wily, desperate ones, that was who.

And he, stupid fool that he was, had allowed his cock to do the thinking.

Christopher shook his head. The oddest thing was not that he had allowed his lust to guide his actions, as that could have been predicted.

What was truly surprising was what had happened afterward.

Once he had finally come back to his senses, he’d found that he wouldn’t mind being married to the little lamb, the only woman who had the ability to hold his attention.

During his travel to Kent, he’d reconciled himself to the notion of marriage with her because he’d thought that perhaps, as her husband, he could have what he’d always dreamed of.

But then, it had all gone awry.

Christ on the cross, why couldn’t his uncle have died a week earlier? Then he wouldn’t have found himself in this mess. Even after his death, the man had made sure Christopher ended up all alone, uncared for and unloved.

Aye, that was the problem. With the little Welsh firebrand as his wife, he might well have been able to have what he’d never had growing up and still wanted. And because of a man who had never given him any thought, he’d been denied a chance at the life he needed.

“I do not ?—”

Sian could not finish, but he understood nonetheless. She did not use her mouth to pleasure all the men she met.

Small consolation.

She stood back up, indignation written all over her face. “As to my marriage, what did you want me to do? Pine after you all my life? Remain unmarried?”

No. Yes , damn it!

“You didn’t have to rush into marriage with the first gullible fool who crossed your path, I’d say.

” A bare fortnight after their discussion, during which she had behaved as if his defection was the worst thing that could have happened to her, she had become another man’s wife.

If that didn’t show he was replaceable, nothing did.

“I thought … I thought you might actually sympathize with me.”

He had. More the fool he. And why in the name of Christ had he told her that? Wasn’t the entire affair humiliating enough? He really was losing it.

Sian’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “You thought I would sympathize ?”

Pure fury distorted her features. In that moment, his little lamb looked more like an enraged bull than a meek woolly thing. The image should have made him laugh, but it did not because behind the rage blazing in her eyes, he saw pain. She was hurt, but he could not understand why.

“Yes, sympathize,” he repeated. “You once did.”

She had been the first woman to see under the facade he presented to the world, one of the few people he’d confided in.

And she had seemed to understand and trust there was more to him than bluster.

How could he forget the compassion he’d seen in her eyes when he had talked about his family, his father’s disinterest?

He’d imagined she would be devastated to hear about the man’s last act of spite.

Instead, she had used it to extricate herself from a marriage that had lost its appeal overnight.

When she’d heard he was no longer Lord Ashton, she had probably thanked the saints they had not had time to speak to her father, after all.

The inconvenience of severing her ties with him had been minimal.

“I did sympathize with you once, Christopher!” she spat, surprising him with the use of his name.

“But that was before you told me you didn’t want me, before you abandoned me to go to Kent, knowing I’d have to face my disapproving family on my own, before you informed me you had taken every precaution not to get me with child that night in the clearing so you wouldn’t have to honor your worthless promise to me. Shall I continue?”

“No.”

Christopher gritted his teeth. She wanted to hurt him?

On her head be it. He might not be able to stop her from inflicting pain, but he could at least hurt her back.

He didn’t have anything to lose. If she ended up hating him, he would not be any worse off.

It was likely the last time they would see one another anyway.

He leaned in to murmur in her ear, the darkness descending in the garden making their proximity even more dangerous.

“Tell me, Lady Cantle, does your elderly husband please you in bed? Does he even manage to raise his cock for you? Or do you have to stroke him before he can do the deed, take him in your mouth? Do you scream for him like you did for me, or do you fake your moans because he cannot give you the kind of fucking you like?”

Each crude word was like a nail to his own heart. He’d meant to hurt her, but it was causing him indescribable pain to think of her in her husband’s arms.

“Is that all you can tell me?” Sian had gone so pale he wondered whether she was not going to swoon. “You really are a horrid man.”

Christopher straightened his spine. There was no point in prolonging the agony. He had to go.

“Yes, I am a horrid man. But surely, this comes as no surprise. Enough people have tried to tell you as much and warn you away from me. You should have listened to them.”